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ON THE ROCK: 

-7 



A MEMOIR 



OF 



ALICE B. WH I TALL 






J 



"My hope is built on nothing less 
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness} 
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, 
But wholly lean on Jesus' name: 
On Christ the solid rock I stand} 
All other ground is sinking sand." 

BONAR. 

" Whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation ; Jesus 
Christ the same yesterday, and to-day, and forever." — Heb. xiii. 7, 8. 




PHILADELPHIA: ^j^ 
GEORGE MACLEAN, 

719 SANSOM STREET. 

1870. 






COLLINS, PUINTliU. 



LC con 



trol number 




tmp96 



028029 



TO "AUNT ALICE'S" 
LITTLE NEPHEWS AND NIECES. 



It has pleased our Heavenly Father to take home 
to Hhnself your dear ^' Aunt Alice" before you are 
old enough to understand all that you have lost in 
her; but may you never forget her sweet spiritual 
face, and the calm, heavenly look in her deep blue 
eyes as she bade you a loving farewell on that last 
Sabbath afternoon of her life on earth ; and may the 
Holy Spirit ever keep fresh in your memory her last 
charges to you to trust in Jesus as your Saviour, and 
to meet her in heaven. You little know what you 
have lost in losing her prayers, her love, her tender 
sympathy, and gentle care and teaching. She took 
each of you into her heart, which had a mother's 
capacity for loving, and earnestly longed that you 
might all be safely sheltered in the peaceful fold of 
the Good Shepherd. 

May the record of her devotion to the cause of her 
dear Saviour stir in your hearts a desire to follow her, 
as she followed Christ ! 



MEMOIR 



OF 



ALICE B. WHITALL 



CHAPTER I. 




LICE B. WHITALL was the youngest of 
three children — all daughters — and was born 
in Philadelphia on the nth of 6th mo., 1839. 
When she was six years of age, her parents re- 
moved to Millville, New Jersey, where her father was 
managing partner of the glass-works. Here we can 
imagine the little blue-eyed and flaxen-haired Alice, 
her wee hand clasped tightly in that of her father, 
watching the making and packing of the many-sized 
glass bottles, or playing on the portico with her little 
dog Carlo or favorite pussy, and now and then em- 
ploying her busy little fingers in dressing her canary's 
cage with green and chickweed. 

Alice was about ten years of age when her parents 
removed to reside again in Philadelphia, where they 
lived, spending several summers at a country resi- 
dence near Noriristown, until she was fourteen years 



6 ON THE ROCK: 

old, when her father's business required their removal 
to New York. 

From her earliest infancy Alice had always been 
delicate, and could never be kept at school for more 
than a few months at a time, on account of distressing 
headaches, which often entirely unfitted her for study. 
In after years she spoke of her childhood as being far 
from the happiest period of her life. Of a highly 
nervous temperament, she was continually haunted 
by thoughts of death, and at night fearful dreams 
would often be followed by long seasons of wakeful- 
ness. She said years after, in reference to this time, 
*'No one can know what I suffered during those long 
nights, nor how I dreaded going to bed. I don't 
think I ever felt entirely safe or comfortable unless 
mother would let me curl up myself to sleep in her 
arms. My first ideas of the joys of heaven were con- 
nected with * There shall be no night there. ' ' ' 

On reading the life of Charlotte Bronte, she re- 
marked that the account of her childhood was the 
only thing she had ever read which at all corres- 
ponded with her own. She said, "At night I was 
troubled by bad dreams, and even in the daytime the 
thought of death followed me like a spectre. How 
often have I stopped in a game of blind man's buff, 
or some other childish sport, saying to myself, * Well, 
it is of no use, we shall all have to die and be buried 
in the ground.' " 

She was very sensitive and loving, and very ima- 
ginative. Many years afterward she confessed that 
dreaming day-dreams was one of her chief occupa- 
tions when a child. 

Naturally conscientious, she early acquired a habit 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 7 

of self-examination by taking her little rocking-chair 
and sitting down by her mother before bedtime, to 
think over her words and actions of the past day. 
Even when in her teens, and almost ashamed of any- 
thing so childish, she could not compose, herself to 
sleep until she had received an answer to the ques- 
tion, ^'Have I been a good girl to-day?" She thus 
refers to this habit in a letter to her mother, written 
when on a visit to Millville, in 1857: — 

*'It is getting near bedtime, and I seem to need 
some one to kiss, and ask, ^ Have I been a good girl 
to-day?' How those old times come back to me, 
when thou and I used to sit here in this very room 
together, just at twilight, and 'think over.' I am 
afraid I am not half as dutiful a daughter now, though 
if all the stories I hear about myself are true, I could 
not have been anything very wonderful then." 

On the first page of her journal, begun when she 
was fifteen years old, she thus states her reason for 
keeping it: — 

''New York, 2d mo. 2d, 1855. My purpose in 
commencing a journal is to put down every day, or 
as often as I can, all my little sins as soon as com- 
mitted, so that at the end of the week I can look 
back, and, by the aid of this little book, remember 
more distinctly how I have spent the time. 

"It seems so hard for me to bridle my tongue, and 
still harder to control my feelings. Oh, that I might 
be worthy of myself; the longing is intense within 
me. But I can do nothing of myself; I am very 
weak, not worthy even to creep upon the dust ; yet 
how conceited I am ; how I rest in my own strength ! 
Oh, to be able to do something, to make some sacri- 



8 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 15. 

fice ! But this is vain ; I ought to be contented in 
performing those little every-day duties, which are so 
difficult because they are so small." 

The following extracts are from the pages of this 
journal : — 

*^ 2d mo. 4th. At times I have felt an humbling 
sense of my own un worthiness, and seen very clearly 
how wrong I am in many of my feelings and desires. 
That I may some day be enabled to serve God better, 
and love Him more, is my humble prayer. To-mor- 
row is meeting-day, and I am so glad, for to go to 
meeting is, I think, my greatest pleasure ; but I fear 
I do not always make the best use of my time there. 
I am too fond of just sitting still and feeling that quiet 
happiness, without thinking of my sins and transgres- 
sions." 

After mentioning some impatient words spoken to 
one of the family on the previous day, she says : — 

''2d mo. 6th. * * * After tea H — came with 
C. T — , and we spent quite a pleasant evening ; but 
I secretly felt very unhappy, for I had been doing 
wrong, and I knew it. * * * 

''This morning, when I arose, the sun was shining 
brightly; all nature seemed to praise God; but I 
could not ; so I went about in that hardened indiffer- 
ence that is so terrible, not feeling exactly comfort- 
able, still not feeling sorry. About ten o'clock I 
went with Carrie to Gurney's to get her picture, and 
when we returned I lay down, not feeling very well. 
After dinner I went about, feeling very unhappy, not 
actually sinning in word or action, still sinning greatly 
in my heart all the time. 

" Since tea I have been looking out the window. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WIIITALL. 9 

It is clear moonlight and the stars are shining brightly ; 
they seem to speak right to my heart, and make me 
feel worse than ever. So now I have finished ! 

''Oh, dear! Oh, dear! I cannot pray. What 
shall I do ? It seems wrong for me even to write 
that little word pray. " 

Thus was her yomig heart groping in darkness for 
that rest and peace which came not until four years 
after, when she found the Lord Jesus Christ, who 
satisfied the desire of her soul. 

At this time the happy trio of sisters was broken in 
upon by the marriage of the eldest, and her removal 
to Salem, Mass. Alice thus refers to it in her jour- 
nal: — 

* '4th mo. 1 2th, 1855. The wedding is over. Dear 
Annie is married and gone. How many thoughts 
and feelings, both painful and pleasant, crowd upon me 
as I write these words ! They tell me that one dear 
sister has gone far from us, leaving an empty seat by 
our fireside, and a desolate feeling in our hearts. 
But I must not complain ; it is all for the best, I do 
not doubt. I would not have my sisters remain 
single, yet it is hard to part. 

' ' The world is full of sadness, and I cannot expect 
to escape from some portion of sorrow. Heretofore 
my life has been very tranquil — too much so, I some- 
times think, to last; I cannot expect to pass through 
this world and meet nothing but sunshine." * * * 

'' Oct. 8th. It has been a long time since I last 
took up my pen to write in this little book. * * * 
Yes, I am now sixteen, I am forced to confess it, and 
I am afraid not much better, if any ; but I still con- 



lo ON THE ROCK: ^.t. i6. 

tinue to hope that, through our blessed Redeemer, I 
may take courage. * * * • 

''Jan. , 1856. Again a whole month has passed 
since I have written in this journal, and yet I am still 
alive, and what the world would call happy ; but I 
feel that I never can be happy until this hard and 
sinful heart is changed, and I can feel that I am 
regenerated, and that I am living for God alone. 

*' Oh, it is the earnest prayer of my heart at times, 
that I may learn to give up my will to Him in all 
things, and have no other desire than to follow Him 
in the narrow path that leadeth unto life eternal. 
But, oh, the wickedness of the human heart ! How 
it clings to the world, and how impossible it would be 
if it were not for the never-failing mercy of our Lord 
and Master, for us ever to rise above earthly things. ' ' 

'' Aug.. 31st, 1856. * * * I can scarcely believe 
that I am really seventeen ; no longer a child, but 
standing, as it were, on the threshold of womanhood, 
with the future stretching out before me, oversha- 
dowed with so much mystery, and, in my hours of 
despondency, with so much dread ; but I feel sure 
that it is wrong to despond, for if we constantly seek 
strength where no poor repentant sinner ever looked 
in vain, we shall be able to rise above the tempestuous 
billows that here everywhere beset us, and at. the end 
of life's stormy day rest in the assurance of accept- 
ance in that happy land where perfect rest, and 
peace, and joy abound." 

''Dec. 28th, 1856. * * * May God be pleased to 
take the whole of this wicked heart to himself ! It 
is, indeed, very unworthy of acceptance, and oh, I 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. II 

do so fear that I shall stray entirely away, and become 
worldly, and that God will be angry, and never 
strive with me any more. 

" Oh, I am altogether so wicked, I don't know 
what will ever become of me? God, I know, />good, 
and if I would only strive with all my strength, and 
pray with all my heart. He would give me more 
strength, and a warmer heart ; but I don't, and it 
seems to me as though I cannot, I am so utterly vile. 
When I think of all the innumerable blessings and 
mercies which my Heavenly Father has showered 
upon me ever since I w^as born, I look in wonder 
at my stony heart, that it does not overflow with 
thankfulness." 

Dear Alice's desires after salvation were much 
stimulated by her intercourse with her eldest sister, 
who, after many weary months of deep conviction 
for sin, was led, shortly after her marriage, to see 
that in Christ was her only hope of redemption. It 
was not until years after that she came out into the 
full light of the Redeemer's love; but, though cling- 
ing to Christ with a trembling faith, she still felt that 
her trust in her Saviour was worth all the wealth of 
all the worlds, for it was her only hope of eternal 
life ; and she longed that her sisters might relinquish 
what she could not but see were their vain efforts to 
build up a righteousness of their own, and trust in 
that Saviour, who was daily becoming more precious 
to her. Her prayers for them were unceasing, and 
she often spoke to them of Christ as the Saviour of 
sinners. 

Alice was much moved by the entreaties of this 



12 ON THE ROCK: /ET. 17. 

dear sister, and confessed some years after that the 
first glimpse she had of the truth as it is in Jesus 
came to her through some words spoken by Annie in 
the Lord's strength. She said that during her visits 
to this sister, when Annie would read to her from the 
Bible, and pray for and with her, she would be 
almost persuaded to trust simply to Christ for salva- 
tion, but that on her return home the combined 
influence of some very dear friends of Unitarian ten- 
dencies was too much for her feeble, fluctuating faith ; 
and although calling Christ her Saviour, she came 
to look upon him in the light of a ** helper" and 
great ^'exemplar," and, in the effort to make her 
life like His, forgot and practically ignored the blood 
of cleansing. 

The following letter, which shows the depth and 
earnestness of her feeling, was written in the spring 
of this year, and is in reply to one from this sister, 
who ceased not her efforts until Alice became a de- 
cided Christian: — 

" New York, 3d mo., 1857. 
*' My Dearest Sister : 

*'Thy letter came to me to-day, thou cannot tell 
how acceptably. It made me cry so that I did not 
finish it for at least fifteen minutes after I commenced 
to read it ; and now I can scarcely write, my tears 
fall so fast ; for, oh, Annie, I have been so unfaithful, 
so miserable ! 

'' I have gradually this winter become more inter- 
ested in dress, and the opinion of others, until my 
devotional duties have become — how can I say it? — a 
task, my prayers hurried, and sometimes almost 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. IVHITALL. 13 

omitted, and yet, canst thou believe it, I was scarcely 
aware of it until I read thy letter. Yes ; I must have 
known it, but I was not willing to think about it, and 
now I am so afraid this is but a fleeting knowledge of 
my sin. * "^ * 

*^0h, how I wish that my whole life had been 
spent in earnestly trying to glorify Him. I know we 
can do nothing of ourselves ; but God loves us when 
we try to please Him. Oh, to think of His anger ! 
May He have mercy upon me, or soon it will be too 
late. I have been so sinful ! but by God's grace I 
will look for redemption through Christ; although 
it seems scarcely possible that He will give such a 
sinful wretch as I His Spirit to comfort and guide me. 
Oh, that God would change my heart, and make me 
love Him. I do want to do right, but it seems as if 
I cannot even want to do right long at a time. 

^' I intend to write to thee always and tell thee just 
how I get along, and how hard I find it. Do write 
me letters of advice, and keep me in mind of all I 
ought to do. * * * 

*' If my blessings could do thee any good, they 
would not cease to fall upon thee day and night ; but 
God will bless thee for all thy help to me. Good 
night. Alice." 

While dear Alice's inner life was thus full of con- 
flict, and she was wearily seeking strength to fight the 
battle of life, and failing, because she sought it not 
through the blood of the atonement, her outward life 
was also full of interest, and called forth much 
feeling. 

Her only remaining sister was married in the 4th 



14 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 17. 

mo. of this year — 1857 — and Alice, while giving out 
her sympathies to their fullest extent, in the prospect 
of happiness opening to her sister, and bearing her 
own burden of loneliness at the separation, was, 
through all, learning more and more of the sinfulness 
of her own heart, and longing more anxiously to find 
peace to her soul. 

She was also at this time much occupied in arrange- 
ments for the removal of the family to a country 
residence, near Norristown. Though anticipating 
much enjoyment in her new home, it was still a trial 
for Alice to leave New York. She had made warm 
friends there, and was, beside, much attached to the 
house itself, particularly to a little sitting-room in the 
third story, with its open-grate fire, and deep window- 
seats filled with her own choice plants. She used 
sometimes to say laughingly that she was like a cat in 
her attachment to localities, and she thought no room, 
however elegant, could ever be like this little sitting- 
room, where she had spent so many delightful hours 
with her sister, sewing and reading, or sitting before 
their bright fire conversing, often until a late hour at 
night. 

Shortly after the marriage of this sister, Alice bade 
a last farewell to her New York home, and went with 
the bride and groom to visit their sister Annie, who 
some time before had removed to reside in St. John, 
N. B. Alice's letters speak of her joy at again em- 
bracing this dear sister, and for the first time seeing 
her new nephew, Charley, " who," she adds, " is as 
fine a little fellow as ever owned an Aunt Alice." 

After a short but delightful visit, the party returned. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 15 

leaving Alice at her new country home, near Phila- 
delphia, where her parents had already preceded her. 

This home was, for the remainder of Alice's life, 
the one spot on earth where her interests and affec- 
tions centred. Natural beauty had always a great 
charm for her, and this place, commanding a fine view 
of the Schuylkill valley, and the blue hills rising in 
the distance, was well calculated to satisfy her love 
for the beautiful. The prospect from the room which 
her father had built especially for Alice was truly 
lovely. It gave her great enjoyment to sit in the 
recess of her large bay window, and, while engaged 
in reading or writing, to view the varied landscape — 
sometimes watching the mists roll off the opposite 
hills, or the shadows of the clouds as they chased 
each other over the sunny slopes. 

This place in Alice's room might also be called her 
Bethel. Here she resorted for reading and prayer, 
and sometimes, after all the family had retired for the 
night, she would sit for hours in the calm moonlight, 
enjoying these seasons of meditation and communion 
much more than she could those taken from the 
hurry and bustle of the day. 

She was much interested in the naming of this 
place, and *' Tswedelle," which was finally settled 
upon by her father, recalled many pleasant associa- 
tions to Alice's mind. It was the sound of the note 
of a favorite bird, which, during her childhood at 
Millville, came regularly every day in winter, and 
perched himself upon a certain woodpile near the 
house, and sang his morning song '^ Tswedelle, tswe- 
delle, tswedelle, tswee," to the great delight of his 



1 6 ON THE ROCK: ^.t. i8. 

little friend, who would often try to imitate his clear 
melodious note. 

To the many friends who were entertained by her 
here, the name ''Tswedelle" instantly recalls Alice, 
as, in health and happiness, she graced this beautiful 
home, as well as when during her lingering illness, 
by her cheerful faith and resignation, she shed a 
hallowed lustre upon all the scene. 

In the planning and laying out of the grounds her 
taste was much consulted, and one walk leading to 
the woods which skirted the south corner of the lawn 
was entirely of her own devising, and was always 
called Alice's walk. It was her delight to search 
here early in the spring for the first delicate wild 
flowers. 

She selected the spot and chose the design for a 
lovely rustic summer-house, which also bears her 
name, from which is a beautiful view down the hill- 
side to the hollow, named by her father '' The Dim- 
ple," and oif through the vista of trees to the valley 
below, and the blue hills beyond. The groups of 
flowering shrubs which conceal it from view, and the 
vines which twine over its rustic sides, all speak of 
her taste and energy. Indeed there is not a spot 
about the place which is not associated with memories 
of Alice, for a tree or shrub could not be planted 
without her judgment, and the designing and arrange- 
ment of the beds of flowers were left entirely to her. 

Her conservatory was also a source of much enjoy- 
ment, and in these pure and simple pleasures she 
maintained her interest throughout her life, although 
after her conversion they became subservient to her 
work for her Master. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WIIITALL. 1 7 

She was truly the sunshine of the whole place. 
Her '' bright way," as one of her sisters termed it, 
was peculiarly her own. Her light step and sweet 
voice, as she went round the house singing like a bird, 
gladdened every heart, and although, at the time of 
their removal to Tswedelle — as has been manifested in 
her letters — feeling the innate corruption of her na- 
ture, and realizing the necessity of a change of heart, 
she was to the observer the thoughtful, affectionate 
daughter, the unselfish sister, and the true and sym- 
pathizing friend. 

From this time it does not appear that Alice wrote 
anything in her journal, and her letters during the 
first year of their residence at Tswedelle seldom refer 
to her inner life ; something of it, however, is re- 
vealed in the following extract from a letter written 
to an intimate friend, in the latter part of 1858, and 
is full of interest, as expressing her earnest desires 
after righteousness and her increasing dissatisfaction 
with her own vain efforts at self-improvement. 

She was in the habit, in writing as well as in speak- 
ing, of using the pronouns ''thee" and "thou" to 
her own family, and to those of her correspondents 
who belonged to the Society of Friends, of which 
she was a member, and it has been thought that it 
would seem more natural and like herself to give the 
letters just as they were written. 

To A. U. C. 

^TswppELLE, Sept. 185?, 
* * * ''Allow me to tell thee, dear A., that thy 
last letter just suits me. I would not give a fig for a 
letter that tells me about everybody else and nothing 



1 8 ON THE ROCK: ^.t. 19. 

of the clear one who writes it ; so do please be egotis- 
tical, if the only effect is to make thee speak of thyself 
and thy own feelings. To speak of myself, I do not 
know what is to become of me. AVhen I look back 
and remember the dawn of my jfifteenth birthday, 
how very bright it was, and as I watched the sun rise 
in the east, how full my soul was of hopes and aspi- 
rations; how determined I felt then, on the very 
threshold of youth, to take a stand for the right, to 
live from that time for duty and not for pleasure, — 
yes, when I look back I am almost disheartened, for 
in the four years which have passed since then I have 
nothing to look upon but resolutions forgotten, inten- 
tions unfulfilled, and at best but a weak groping after 
light that came not. * * * But in this time when 
the grace of God seems so bountifully poured out upon 
our land, I dare to hope that He will extend His 
mercy unto me and take my heart, for I am utterly 
unable even to give it to Him. I don't know how I 
came to write this to thee, darling; I had no inten- 
tion of doing so when I commenced, but it seemed 
impossible to help it; in fact, for months past this 
subject has been much in my mind." 

The following letter was written from Millville, the 
home of her childhood, where her sister "Carrie" 
resided for some years after her marriage. It is in 
reply to one from her eldest sister, begging her to 
write more freely of spiritual things; — 

"Millville, Dec. 1858. 
*'My Dearest Sister Annie: 

''As Carrie is occupied, I embrace this opportunity 
to tell thee how much oblige^ I am for thy dear iiftle 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 19 

note. It is very nice to have thee take such a deep 
interest in me. 

''I feel, indeed, that I have no merit of my own, 
and I have no hope but in a redeeming Saviour, who 
has promised to aid all that come to Him, however 
weak or wicked. I do, indeed, desire to have no 
other wish than to serve Him, no other aim than to 
perform the work He requires at my hand, no other 
love to compare with my love for Him, and no other 
hope but the hope of receiving mercy at His hand. 
I am, indeed, very far from this j but He never re- 
quires anything that He will not give us the strength 
to perform ; all we have to do is to live as near as we 
can to what we see to be right, and to trust all the 
rest to the working of His Holy Spirit in our hearts." 

Such was the state of her soul in the latter part of 
the year 1858. The great foundation truth that we 
must be born again in order to enter into the kingdom 
of God, and that this new birth must take place before 
the soul can know the indwelling and guidance of the 
Holy Spirit, which is the gift of God to those who 
believe in Jesus, was not yet comprehended by her. 
The sentiment expressed in the last letter, that we 
must do the best we can and leave the rest to the 
Holy Spirit, is the natural feeling of many uncon- 
verted hearts, and very often, as was the case with 
Alice, lulls the awakened sinner for a time into a 
false peace. 



CHAPTER II. 




UT God had better things in store for Alice ; 
and in the early part of the year 1859 she 
was brought to realize her soul's true needs, 
and her eyes were opened to see in the Lord Jesus 
Christ a Saviour just suited to meet these needs. 

The three or four letters which follow tell the story 
of this blessed change: — 

"TSWEDELLE, First day morning, 2d mo. 6th, 1859. 

' ' My Darling Carrie : 

'T cannot go to meeting this morning, on account 
of neuralgia in my face, so I am going to write a 
letter to thee instead. 

** There is one subject on which we have never 
used sufficient freedom in speaking, and that is the 
all-important one of religion ; and I feel all the more 
strongly inclined to speak of it this morning, as I am 
convinced that we have been very much mistaken in 
our views. We have — thou and I, dear — been always 
building up for ourselves a religion of works. I never 
thought so, but now I feel sure of it. I am now sure 
that nothing but faith in the Lord Jesus Christ will 
save us. Faith is the first thins:: it is all we can do 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WIIITALL. 21 

for ourselves, and, indeed, we can't do that unless 
we have help; but we can believe as far as we are 
able, and He will assuredly perfect that faith and 
make us able to perform works that are acceptable to 
Him, because we believe in Him. We must believe 
that Christ came into the world to save sinners, and 
that all that look to Him for salvation will surely be 
saved. . It seems to me that there is so much in the 
Bible that cannot mean anything else. In the third 
chap, of the Gospel of St. John, there is ample proof 
in the words of Christ Himself. He there alludes to 
the serpent which Moses lifted up in the wilderness : 
and says, verse 15th, ^Even so must the Son of man 
be lifted up ; that whosoever believeth in Him should 
not perish, but have eternal life.' Of course this 
belief must be a spiritual one ; but we know that God 
never requires more than we can give, and if we 
believe as far as we are able, and say, 'I believe. 
Lord, help thou mine unbelief,' He will do it, and 
we have no right to doubt it; and if we continue 
steadfast in that faith, we shall ' work the works of 
God;' but if we fail in this thing, how can we? For 
in John vi. 29, when they asked Him, 'What shall 
we do that w^e may work the works of God?' Jesus 
answered, 'This is the work of God, that y^ believe 
on Him whom He hath sent.' 

'' In many places Christ says such things as, 'Who- 
soever doth not bear his cross and come after me 
cannot be my disciple;' but how can we do so un- 
less we have a full belief in His power to save us 
entirely by His mercy? For unless we follow Him as 
our Saviour and our Lord, we do not fulfil this com- 



2 2 ON THE ROCK: /ET. 19. 

mandment. We must believe first, and then all the 
Scripture promises apply to us as disciples of the 
Lord Jesus ; we have entered into the straight and 
narrow way, which the Friends so often tell us leadeth 
unto life. But let us remember that Christ is the 
gate, and that we must enter in through that gate, 
* for there is none other name under heaven given 
among men whereby we must be saved.' * * * 

''We ought to come to Him, offering all that we 
possess the power of giving, and promise to believe 
in Him as fully as our poor, weak, sinful hearts w^ill 
let us, asking Him to give us a 'new heart,' and a full 
belief in Him, and we will as surely get it as we ask. 
This I believe to be all He requires us to do, and 
when we have done it, we ought to feel perfectly sure 
that He will give us salvation, because He has said 
so, and we dare not doubt His word. Although we 
see no good in ourselves, we may be confident that 
' He is able to save to the uttermost all those who 
come unto God by Him.' If we feel nothing, it 
only proves what we knew before, that we are wicked 
and need a Saviour. If we accept Him, we must 
say, with the old man — 

' I am a poor sinner, and nothing at all, 
But Jesus Christ is my all and in all.' 

"My own darling Carrie, all this I write to thee 
because I love thee so much, and want thee to be as 
happy in believing and casting all doubt and care 
and trouble on 'the Lamb of God, who taketh away 
the sin of the world,' as I am. Although I am only 
a weak infant in the faith, yet would I call upon thee 
to see the light and rejoice. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WIIITALL. 23 

*'Look in the Bible, dear, and see what it says 
there to sinners ; do not mistake what is meant for 
believers as applicable for others. 

* * * ''I have been looking out all the texts 
bearing on the question, * What shall I do to be 
saved?' At first I did not feel quite willing to give 
up doing a little something for myself, but while 
copying out the texts above-mentioned, I became 
convinced that this is the true gospel plan of salva- 
tion, and made up my mind fo accept it as nearly 
like a little child as I could ; and although I know 
that I am thoroughly wicked, yet I have a hope in 
Christ; and oh, it is such an inexpressible comfort! 
It is even possible that I may fall from this belief 
into the old doctrine of works, but it will be because 
I fall, not because the gospel truths are not just as 
clear in the Bible as day. 

*' It was hard for me to sit down and write this 
letter, but I hope I have been able to make thee 
understand a little what I believe. I know thee too 
well to think thou wilt attribute this to a desire to 
teach; no indeed, only I do so long for thee to 
see and accept this wonderful gospel plan of salva- 
tion. It is all through the Bible ; every chapter, if 
we did but understand it aright, testifies to the truth. 

^ ' That our Father in heaven may make thee to 
see it clearly is the earnest prayer of 

Thy loving sister. 

Alice." 

This letter was Alice's first confession of Christ. 
She had learned to know Him as her Saviour in the 
privacy of her own chamber, and for some days her 



24 ON THE KOCK: ^kt. 19. 

newly-found faith and joy in Him were ke[)t to her- 
self. She was suffering at the time from a severe 
attack of neuralgia, but as soon as she was able she 
wrote to her sister as given above. 

She said afterward, *' I cannot describe the feeling 
of peaceful rest with which I lay down to sleep after 
I had written that letter. I felt so light-hearted and 
happy, for now I had confessed my Saviour, and I 
thought if I should die suddenly in the night they 
would know that I was trusting only in Christ, and 
not in any efforts of my own, for salvation." 

Her faith was also much strengthened by this con- 
fession, and she found daily more '* peace and joy in 
believing." At first she could not wait to dress in 
the morning before opening her Bible at the third 
chapter of John, to assure herself that those precious 
promises were still there ; and the more she examined 
the foundation of her faith and hope in the Scriptures 
the more was the conviction brought home to her 
heart by the Spirit, that she was building on the rock 
that can never be moved. 

The letters which Alice soon after wrote to her 
eldest sister on this subject have been omitted, to 
avoid repetition, as she did not explain herself so 
fully in them, knowing that Annie would imme- 
diately understand her change of views, and rejoice 
with her that she had found the Saviour. 

In the latter part of the 3d month Alice returned 
with her sister Carrie to Millville, her heart full of 
prayer that they who had always been so united in 
all other things might also be made one in Christ 
Jesus. During this visit her prayers were wonder- 
fully answered, and dear Alice had the unspeakable 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 25 

joy of seeing her beloved sister brought into the ex- 
ercise of like precious faith with herself. 

The latter some time afterward wrote concerning 
it. ''It was but a month or two after Alice's con- 
version that I too became a child of God; then, 
indeed, we were doubly united. Alice said that her 
one desire and prayer was that I also might realize 
the glorious truth which had made her so inexpressi- 
bly happy. And when the light did burst in upon my 
soul, as we were sitting together reading Malan's 
' True Cross,' she could hardly believe that the Lord 
had answered her prayers so soon. The remaining 
few weeks of her visit were indeed a source of 
strengthening and establishing to me. We had but 
one subject of conversation — Jesus and his work for 
sinners, and of this we never tired. There was but 
one book that we cared to read, and that was our 
constant companion, whether riding or boating. 
How much we found to talk about in its inspired 
pages, and how confirming was every verse to our 
new faith ! ' ' 

Not only to her sisters did she write of the great 
change she had experienced. She. wished all her 
friends to know that she had received the forgive- 
ness of her sins through her Saviour, and to those to 
whom she had no opportunity of speaking she wrote 
letters, hoping that the story of her experience might 
incline their hearts to ''come, taste, and see that the 
Lord is good." 

The two or three next letters, though of later date 
than those which follow, are inserted here, as they 
speak more particularly of her conversion. 
3 



26 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 20. 

To A. U. C. 

" TswEDELLE, June II, 1859. 
"My Dear A.: 

*' It has been a long time since I have heard from 
thee; I wonder why? * * * 

"Dost thou know, dear, to-day is my birthday? 
and in coming to the close of this, my twentieth year, 
I have been thinking that I have wronged thee, and, 
therefore, come now to ask pardon and to do all I 
can to make up for it. 

"I have often heard thee say that when intimate 
friends are separated their letters are supposed to put 
each in possession of all the principal interests, 
changes, and events in the life of the other ; and it 
is because I have left thee ignorant so long of the 
greatest change and most important event of my life 
that I feel condemned. 

"Dost thou remember, last September, getting a 
letter from me, in which I told thee I was feeling 
great dissatisfaction with my past life, and that I did 
not know what I should do to make it better, and 
finished by hoping that in a time when God seemed 
in an especial manner to be pouring out His Spirit 
upon our land. He would look down in mercy upon 
me? 

"And indeed He has been most merciful in bring- 
ing me in by the only true door to the sheepfold, 
Jesus Christ our Lord. The fact was that I had 
always been and was then striving to walk in the 
'narrow way' before going in at the 'strait gate.' 
I sadly mixed the law and the gospel ; I thought we 
had at least to prove our earnest desire to become 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 27 

the children of God before we could be accepted as 
such ; and as I did not see in myself this earnest 
striving, I did not think I could be accepted. 

''I did not see, as M. beautifully expresses it, that 
it is the law that says, ^This do and thou shalt live,* 
and the gospel that says, * Live, and then thou shalt 
do. ' It is so glorious to think that He first makes us 
His children, and then gives us the will and the 
strength to serve Him ; to think that He accepts us 
freely just as sinners ; that He will wash us clean in 
His blood, and that He will be made unto us ' wis- 
dom and righteousness, sanctification and redemp- 
tion,' if we will only give up the idea of saving our- 
selves, and honor God by believing what He says, 
and be willing to receive as such * the gift of God, 
which is eternal life. ' This certainly would not be 
man's way of saving sinners, but I am convinced that 
it is God's way. 

*' Even as short a time ago as the first of last Janu- 
ary I was in darkness as to the truths of the Bible. 
I had silenced all my feelings of dissatisfaction by 
making up my mind to be more earnest in prayer 
and good works, and trust more to the guidance of 
the Holy Spirit to lead me into the paths of right- 
eousness. About this time I went to spend the night 
with H. W. S. While there she explained the sim.ple 
gospel of Christ to me ; and I came home the next 
day with a list in my pocket of the texts in the Bible 
answering the question, *What shall I do to be 
saved ?' and with a doubt in my heart whether my 
answer was the true one, which was, ' Work the 
works of righteousness, by the aid of the Holy Spirit, 
which aid thou never couldst have had if- Christ had 



28 ON THE ROCK 



^T. 20. 



not died ; therefore, Christ is the Saviour, inasmuch 
as without His aid thou never couldst work them and 
enter heaven.' 

"I took the Bible and looked for the texts; I 
went as far as the third chapter of John, 14th, 15th, 
and 1 6th verses, and I stopped. I thought of the 
scene in the wilderness, when the brazen serpent was 
raised in the camp of the Israelites, and God de- 
clared, by the mouth of His servant, that notwith- 
standing the people were receiving the just reward 
of their wickedness, if they would but look at the 
serpent which He had set up, they should be healed. 
The act of looking I knew was simply an act of 
faith, for if they had not believed that He could do 
what He said He would, they would not have looked ; 
for how utterly unreasonable it must have seemed to 
them to be told that just casting their eyes upon one 
object more than another would heal their deadly 
wounds. And yet we know that as many as looked 
lived ; and the Scriptures say, ' Even so must the 
Son of Man be lifted up, that whosoever believeth on 
Him should not perish, but have eternal life.' 

'' I had found the answer to the question, * Believe 
on the Lord Jesus Christ;' and the way to believe, 
even as the Israelites believed God when they looked 
at the serpent ; and I thought, Cannot I now take 
God at His word, and believe that Christ died for 
me, and that, therefore, I shall not perish, but have 
everlasting life, as He says so ? The words ' I be- 
lieve. Lord, help thou mine unbelief,' sprang from 
my heart. Could any really believe that Christ died 
for them. Himself bore the penalty for their sins, 
and, therefore, they should be saved, without expe- 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 29 

riencing a love and gratitude toward that Saviour to 
spring up in their heart, which would give a far 
stronger and deeper motive for working in His ser- 
vice than any other? 

''I have many times since then been tempted to 
doubt, but I always go to the Bible, and come away 
surer than ever that the atonement of Christ is a 
finished work, perfect and entire, and that He is able 
to save me without my doing a single thing to merit 
it. Oh ! the peace of this resting like a little child 
upon such a glorious Saviour ; to know that He will 
be our sanctification as well as our redemption ; will 
not only take us into His service, but will make us fit 
for that service ; will not only give us work to do, 
but strength to do it ! 

*^ How beautifully He has shown us the position of 
the Christian, in the parable of the vine and the 
branches. How utterly impossible it would be for a 
branch to bring forth fruit of itself is evident to all ; 
and it is just as unreasonable to expect a man to 
bring forth works which would be acceptable in the 
sight of God until he is joined by faith to Christ, 
who is the only true vine, and can alone give the 
power. 

*'It is such a very common thing for persons to 
impress the necessity of a holy life, and a greater 
willingness to walk in the narrow way, upon young 
people who are not yet within the fold, instead of 
pointing them to Christ, * the Way, the Truth, and 
the Life.' I have received a great deal of advice 
which would do for the Christian, but little that was 
calculated to make me think whether I was one or 
not. 

3* 



30 ON THE ROCK: ^T. 20. 

"I have; dear A., spoken very freely to thee, as 
I felt I could do no less ; and, indeed, my heart 
prompted me to do so some time ago, but I hoped 
to see thee so soon, and it is so much easier to make 
one's self understood by talking than writing when 
one's heart is full. 

*'Do not hesitate, darling, to sit down and write 
all thou has in thy heart to say to me. Do let me 
know how thou feels and thinks. I love thee so 
much, I long for thy sympathy and encouragement. 
But if it be that I have startled thee, if thou art an 
unbeliever in what some people call sudden conver- 
sions, or if thou art yet inclined to think that we are 
justified equally by works and by faith, as some one 
says, and, therefore, we must not rejoice in the light 
of a Redeemer's love until we have both; under any 
circumstances do not, pray do not, let my frankness 
make thee feel reserved ; and do not, darling, expect 
to find me entirely changed in outward action, as 
tliou must remember I am only a * babe in Christ,' 
and all unused to the ways of godliness. I should, 
indeed, despair of ever living a life acceptable in the 
sight of jGod, but that I trust that Christ will subdue 
this heart entirely unto Himself, for He is able to do 
all things. Oh, it is true that the weakest believer 
could say, if he would, with the Apostle, ^ I can do 
all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me.* 

'' Carrie told me, I think, that she wrote thee ex- 
plaining the change in her views. Oh, A. ! I can- 
not begin to express the happiness I felt at seeing her 
come, with simple, childlike faith, to the feet of 
Jesus, some two months after I laid my weary load 
pf sin there. And oh, may the habitual attitude oi 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 31 

our souls be to lie at the foot of the cross, utterly- 
helpless in ourselves, but trusting in Him for every- 
thing. May we always continue in the spirit of the 
little hymn that says, 

* I am a poor sinner and nothing at all, 
But Jesus Christ is my all and in all.'" 

To M. M. J. 

A FRIEND AT BOARDING-SCHOOL. 

"June 29, 1859. 

* * * **I sympathize very much with your 
dread of the examination; but, dear M., there is one 
thought that comes to me very often, that if we are 
doing or have done our duty as God would have us do 
it, if we can feel that we have done it to please Him, 
and that He is pleased with us, what difference, com- 
paratively, does it make what people think of us? 
I know it is very pleasant to have our undertakings 
succeed in the eyes of the world ; but I am convinced 
that we ought to have but one motive for everything 
we do, even our smallest every-day duties, that of 
serving our Lord and Master; and then you know 
if we succeed in that great object, the approbation of 
the world will be as nothing. If the Lord is our 
friend, all our disappointments and sorrows will work 
together for our good, for He will take care of His 
children. 

^'Oh, the great privilege of knowing that you are 
a child of God ! And, indeed, I think it is the duty 
of all to know whether they are or not. How could 
a man fight, if placed in a battle-field, without know- 
ing to which army he belonged ? * * * 

*' Dear M — , I have spoken more at length on this 



32 ON THE ROCK: mi. 20. 

subject, because it is one which is very near my heart. 
You will doubtless be surprised when I tell you that 
I have come to see the great truths of the Bible very 
differently within the last year. 

**The difference is this: before I looked at them 
with my mind, now I look at them with my heart. 
Now I know that Jesus died for 7ne. I know it be- 
cause I believe what the Bible says, and it says He 
died for all sinners, paid the full price, took our sins 
upon Himself, and that He will give the gift of eternal 
life to any who will come to Him, and honor Him 
by believing that He is able and willing to do what 
He has said He will. 

'*0h, the gospel of Jesus Christ is indeed 'good 
news' to sinners. It is strange how many years I 
listened to these truths, and never understood them ; 
for while I acknowledged Jesus Christ as the Saviour, 
in my heart I only looked upon him as a helper. I 
thought that by His death on the cross He had re- 
moved the natural curse which rested upon all the 
seed of Adam, and had thus opened and procured 
the means of obtaining a salvation to which other- 
wise I should never have had access. I thought 
thus that my salvation would be my own work, one 
which, however, I did not expect to do without help 
from on high. 

^'I often felt sad ; for I had many misgivings as to 
• whether the work was progressing, and whether I had 
done enough, should I be suddenly called away. If 
I ever saw something of the truth when reading such 
passages as, * Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and 
thou shalt be saved,' and began to put my trust in 
Him, I would surely meet such a passage as ^ Faith 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 33 

without works is dead,' and in my blindness I did not 
see that it was my faith that was weak, therefore the 
works were not visible in me, and instead of striving 
after more faith, I went about to establish myself in 
my own righteousness, supposmg that if I saw in my- 
self the good works, I should be sure I had the faith, 
and so came round to the same old point in darkness. 

'^ Imagine, then, my feelings when my eyes were 
opened to see that the Saviour's atonement is a finished 
work. * * * It really seems almost too good news 
to be true, that Christ does all, and that we have 
only to honor Him by believing that He is able to 
save to the uttermost all those who come unto God 
by Him. He even gives us a reason, which we can 
understand, for this, ' It is not of works, lest any man 
should boast.' What a very different motive for 
working does it give to one who has accepted this 
perfect salvation, even that of glorifying the God who 
so loved us that He gave His only begotten Son that 
whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but 
have everlasting life. 

*^0h, the wonderful riches of the goodness and 
mercy of God ! Is it any wonder, dear friend, that 
I should be quite overwhelmed that one so altogether 
sinful as I know myself to be should be allowed to 
see, even dimly, these glorious truths of the gospel ? 
* * * 

*' Dear M — , I have been trying to be a Christian, 
as you know, for these many years ; but I wanted to 
do it partly myself, and I would not submit myself 
wholly to Christ as a little child, just to be saved out 
of pure mercy, and consequently was not happy ; but 
since I have been brought to see Jesus as ^ the way, 



34 ON THE ROCK: ^.T. 20. 

the truth, and the life,' and have rested entirely on 
Him, I have indeed been happy. I have spoken 
thus frankly to you, as I feel that I must tell all those 
I love how mistaken I have always been, and what a 
glorious Saviour I have found." 



To N. O. 



"TSWEDELLE, 1859. 



''My Dear N. : 

'' I received your letter this morning, and I cannot 
tell you how I thank you for your kind interest, and 
warm invitation to visit you. I should enjoy doing 
so extremely, particularly as I should so appreciate 
your sympathy and counsel ; we should have nice 
times quietly reading and talking about our dear 
Lord Jesus, and how to live so as to glorify Him. 
Indeed I would love to come, but I have not thought 
of leaving home at all this summer, excepting for a 
short visit to Carrie. * * * 

*'You ask me to tell you all about myself, dear 
N. ; the Lord has promised to carry the lambs in 
His bosom, and indeed I have only a story of the 
mercy of the Lord to tell. He has brought another 
poor sinner out of the drear wilderness darkness into 
the glorious light of the Redeemer's love. A poor 
little weak babe in Christ am I, but I can do nothing 
but rejoice — rejoice that I have found so glorious a 
Saviour. Even the fear that I shall dishonor Him 
by not living a life to His glory, is swallowed up in 
the thought that He will not only ' save from wrath, 
but make me pure.' 

''It is indeed perfect rest to trust Him for every- 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 35 

thing ; and yet it is a struggle, a fight of faith — a 
fight to keep our faith, and not begin trusting in our 
own strength again." 

"MiLLviLLE, April 14, 1859. 
*' My Darling Sister Annie : 

* * * "My heart overflows with love and 
gratitude to our Heavenly Father when I think of the 
' good news' in which we all three now rejoice. 
What a wonderful blessing it is that we can sympa- 
thize in this the greatest joy one can know, the 
knowledge of Jesus Christ and Him crucified. Oh, 
Annie, I long unspeakably to talk all these things 
over with thee. 

'■ ' To think that I have so long resisted the truth 
and dishonored my Saviour by not being willing to 
give up the idea of helping to save myself, and that 
now I should be allowed to feel such comfort in be- 
lieving, really seems wonderful. I feel as though 
I ought to be overwhelmed with my own sinfulness ; 
but when I look at my glorious Redeemer it is im- 
possible, for if my sins are so great, it only makes 
it more wonderful that He is able and willing 
to save me. He is all things, and I am nothing — 
nothing but an empty shell, which if filled with 
Christ will be accepted. How blessed to be such a 
shell ! Oh, for more entire submission and more 
grace, that we may so live as to honor Him and 
glorify His name ! 

**It seems so strange that I could have listened so 
often to the truth and never understood it. I look 
back now to some of those conversations we — thou 
and I — used to have, and see so clearly that many 



36 ON THE ROCK: yET. 19. 

things thou used to say are the very same that come 
over me now with such force. And it is just so in 
reading the Bible : chapters that I was perfectly 
familiar with, now burst on me with such new mean- 
ing, and are so glorious ! 

*' I used to wonder how any one could really want 
to talk to people — that is, people who cared nothing 
about it — on the subject of religion ; but now it 
seems as if I long to make known the * glad tidings' 
to every one, as I feel so sure that it would make 
them very happy if they only would listen to it. * * 

*'I do hope I shall not bring dishonor on the 
cause, I am so very weak and sinful, and sometimes 
so cold ; but I stand upon the Rock of Ages. * * * 

'' Thou asks us to pray for thee, and I can assure 
thee it is a great pleasure to do so, for what a bless- 
ing it is to be able to go to God, really as our 
Father, to ask good things for a sister in Christ. 
Only a few months ago this sentence would have 
appeared without meaning, but now I thank God for 
it — it is different. 

^* This is the first time I have been here since little 
Alice's birth ; she is now three months old, and I can 
assure thee is a great pet with her auntie. I am 
writing now in the nursery, and have had to stop 
every two minutes to talk to the baby, who has been 
sitting in her nurse's arms saying, 'goo, goo,' and 
laughing so cunningly that she was really irresistible. 
I do not know that she is very pretty, but if she were 
a little fairy we could not make more fuss over her, 
for we think her about perfect." 

A memoir of dear Alice would be incomplete 
without mentioning what joy it gave her that three 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WIIITALL. 37 

very dear cousins came to the experimental know- 
ledge of the Saviour about the same time with her- 
self. There were then, with Alice's two sisters, a 
little band of six cousinlfto all of whom, except her 
eldest sister, who, as has been mentioned, had been a 
Christian four years, the life of faith in Christ was a 
new joy. The first time these cousins met together 
after the separation caused by the marriage and 
removal of some, it was to rejoice in the stronger 
bond in which they were now united. This meeting 
took place at Alice's uncle's, the family home of her 
three cousins. Here they sought a little room in a 
retired part of the house, and sitting down together 
they communed upon their newly-found joy. 

To the eldest of these cousins, Alice, though her- 
self the youngest, was united by an uncommon love. 
She had been the recipient of all her doubts and 
conflicts before she found the Saviour, and to her, so 
far as human instrumentalities were concerned, Alice 
owed the knowledge of the truth which had set her 
free, as will be seen by reference to a letter dated 
** June II, 1859." The tie which had before bound 
them was thus made doubly strong by their union in 
Christ, and Alice ever after gave her the sweet name 
of ''sister co^isin." 

"TSWEDELLE, 4tll mo. 22, 1859. 

''My Dear Carrie: 

* * * "The way seems to open for me to go 
to New York yearly meeting, and I do not know but 
it may be best ; I only want to do my duty, and in 
this, as well as every other action of my life, I must, 
as Paul says, 'do all to the glory of God.' 
4 



38 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 19. 

*'I have been reading the third, fourth, and fifth 
chapters of Romans, and they never seemed half so 
beautiful, and clear, and so comforting. I felt so cold 
this morning, and after breakfast spoke impatiently 

to , and was almost upset for the whole day ; 

but I thought of the little hymn : — 

' I am a poor sinner and nothing at all, 
But Jesus Christ is my all and in all j' 

and then I prayed and read some in that precious 
Bible, and now I y<?^/that I am one of Christ's chil- 
dren, though a very weak one ; however we know 
that feeling, though a great blessing, is not the one 
essential thing. * * * 

*' Do not, darling, let thy coldness make thee feel 
discouraged, but struggle against temptations, and 
never forget that it is the Lord who must make thee 
fit for His own service ; so be more earnest in prayer 
for a fervent spirit to be always zealous in His cause. 
Remember where James says, ' Count it all joy when 
ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that 
the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let 
patience have her perfect work, that ye may be per- 
fect and entire, wanting nothing. If any of you lack 
wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men 
liberally, and upbraideth not, and it shall be given 
him.'" 

Reference is made in the above letter to an impa- 
tient word spoken. After dear Alice's conversion, as 
well as before, she found impatience to be her greatest 
temptation. Naturally very quick in taking in an 
idea as well as putting it into execution, and being 
also exceedingly thoughtful of the comfort of others, 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 39 

she often felt tried at those who were slower or less 
thoughtful than herself. This was somewhat owing 
to physical causes. She was frequently a great suf- 
ferer from neuralgic headaches, and would sometimes 
make the exertion to go down to breakfast, when a 
heavy step, or loud tone of voice, or the hasty shut- 
ing of a door, grated so harshly on her nerves, as to 
make it seem almost impossible to withhold some 
expression of impatience or irritability of feeling. 
She knew that as a Christian, having the power of a 
new life, she should be lifted above these things. She 
felt it her privilege to have such a well of quiet within 
as would enable her to say, ''None of these things 
move me." This temptation was made an especial 
subject of prayer, and she gained so complete a vic- 
tory over any outward expression of it, that few 
imagined she had such feelings to contend with. 

The little piece entitled "The Quiet Mind," 
which will be found at the end of this volume, in 
connection with a few of Alice's favorite hymns, was 
so expressive of her thoughts and desires that she 
learned it by heart, and so often repeated it,- that to 
some of her intimate friends it is very closely con- 
nected with their recollections of her. Adelaide 
Newton's hymn, ''AH, all is known to Thee," was 
also often the language of her heart. Upon one occa- 
sion she repeated the following verse to her sister : — 

" When in the morning unrefreshed I wake, 
Or in the night but little sleep I take, 
This brief appeal submissively I make — 
All, all is known to Thee j" 

remarking, "No one but an invalid could have 
written that;" and then, referring to the preceding 



40 ON THE ROCK: yET. 19. 

verse, ''The little every-day noises, discussions, &c., 
which are scarcely noticed by one in health, become 
to the invalid nothing less than 'turmoil and din.' " 
But although dear Alice was always delicate and 
often a great sufferer, yet when she was in her usual 
health she was so full of spirits and energy, always 
so ready to exert all the strength she had for others, 
and her manner was so entirely free from that lan- 
guor which is common to invalids, that her friends 
could scarcely help forgetting that she was less strong 
than themselves. 

Extracts from Letters to her Sister Carrie. 

"April 23, 1859. 

* * * " There are several things I want to say 
to thee, dear; one is not to feel any fear about your 
little meetings : just leave it all to the Lord, and pray 
for His strength to enable thee to do thy duty con- 
cerning them. Is it not written, ' Casting all your 
care upon Him, for He careth for you?' Just think, 
after such an invitation, that we should be tempted'to 
carry our own load of care instead of trusting it to 
One who we know is worthy of trust, and able to do 
all things. How far we are from realizing what it 
would be to render our whole body, soul, and spirit 
to the service of Christ, whose we are ; this is what 
we ought to aim at — entire consecration; and how 
very much that means i * * =i« 

Dear, dear Carrie, do not be discouraged; the 
Lord is so merciful, He will not let His own children 
go wrong if they only have faith in Him, that when 
they have asked Him to keep them from falling, that 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 41 

He will. May our Lord bless us both, darling, and 
make us do right ; 

* Lord, I am Mind, be thou my sight j 
Lord, I am weak, be thou my might !' " 

April, 1859, Third day afternoon. 
* * * <( Yesterday I was very busy all the 
morning excepting my own precious hour for devo- 
tion. In the afternoon I drove to see J. M. She is 
coming to spend to-night with me. Oh, how I do 
pray the Lord to bless this visit, and teach me just 
what to say. I feel very weak, but ' the Lord is my 
Shepherd, I shall not want.' He has been wonder- 
fully good to me." 

"May 2, 1859. 
** We went to meeting yesterday morning as usual. 
* * * I had a most delightful meeting, realizing 
what a glorious thing it is to be a disciple of such a 
great and merciful Saviour. I could not help saying 
over to myself the prophecy concerning Him in 
Isaiah xlii., 'A bruised reed shall He not break, and 
the smoking flax shall He not quench. ' ' 





CHAPTER III. 



N the 5th month Alice paid a visit to her 
'' sister cousin" who resided in Philadelphia. 
These visits were always seasons of great 
enjoyment to her, and at this time the cousins were 
particularly interested in the subject of the Christian's 
growth and advancement in the divine life. They 
felt that although conscious of pardon and peace with 
God through our Lord Jesus Christ, they still did not 
realize that continual victory over sin and deadness 
to it which they saw in the Scriptures to be the 
Christian's birthright. During this visit they ear- 
nestly sought to find out the secret of the life of vic- 
tory and triumph realized by the apostles and early 
Christians. The blessed truth of a present practical 
sanctification by faith — Christ made unto us wisdom, 
righteousness, sanctification, and redemption — was 
much opened to their understanding. Alice espe- 
cially seemed to receive this truth into her heart, 
and very largely in her after experience realized the 
joy and peace of taking Christ to be to her not only 
her justification from all the guilt of sin, but also her 
sanctification from its present dominion and power. 
Her letters for some years dwell much upon this sub- 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WIIITALL. 43 

ject, and all who knew her felt the quiet influence of 
a life that had become to a great degree ''hid with 
Christ in God." Still her experience in this respect 
was not an unwavering one, owing to many adverse 
influences, and chiefly to the reasonings of some very 
dear friends, through which her intellectual under- 
standing of this subject became clouded; and this 
reacting on her experience, caused her somewhat to 
decline from her early power and joy, and her letters 
make less and less mention of it. But she seems 
never to have lost the experience entirely, and always 
found far more rest and strength in a simple trusting 
to Christ for the supply of all her needs, than many 
of the believers with whom she associated. 

In the latter part of her life the Lord graciously 
restored to her a knowledge of His perfect salvation, 
as will be noticed in the course of this narrative. 

"May 19, 1859. 
''My Darling Carrie : 

* * * <ij (ji(j have such a nice time in the city 
last week, it refreshed my spirits so much. I brought 
'The Higher Christian Life' home with me, but I 
have not yet finished 'Adelaide Newton.' 

"I long to tell thee all about my visit, but I don't 
know how to begin. I was at M.'s Bible class twice, 
and enjoyed it exceedingly; beautiful thoughts drop- 
ped from his lips like a shower of diamonds, and the 
only trouble was, you could not gather them all, they 
fell so fast. The sanctification of the Christian was 
the subject which occupied almost all of our private 
conversation, and, as it is the one which has engaged 



44 • ON THE ROCK: jei. 19. 

my thoughts much of late, I was intensely interested, 
and I do hope I have been profited. 

''I saw Mrs. K , the Methodist lady, who is so 

entirely dedicated to the service of Christ. We went 
to a prayer meeting at her house, where she spoke 
beautifully. The subject was giving ourselves up en- 
tirely to do the will of our Father, without even asking 
why we, instead of another, are called to do that 
work, just as if He would require us to do anything 
for which He would not give us the needed strength ; 
we ought not to linger, but jump quickly and gladly, 
never doubting Him, but considering it a privilege 
to be a tool in the hands of one so mighty. I can, 
of course, give thee no idea of what she said, it was 
so comforting and encouraging, and still showing 
very plainly what a mean thing it is to doubt. She 
made me despise myself more than ever. 

*' I had a class of boys out at the Refuge last first 
day morning, and found great comfort in speaking 
of Christ to them ; although my words were imper- 
fect, the truth I felt to be mighty. 

*'And now, dear, that He may ^sanctify z/j- wholly' 
is the earnest prayer of thy loving Alice." 

Frequent mention is made in the letters which fol- 
low of visits to "I 's" and other families living 

in the neighborhood. On the side of the hill just 
below Tswedelle were several little cottages which 
Alice often used to visit, and where her presence was 
welcomed with delight. In one of these families, 
particularly, she took a great interest. It consisted 

of 'a man, "I ^," and his wife and child. They 

were much interested in hearing her read and explain 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 45 

the vScriptures, and her earnest pleadings with them 
to attend without delay to their soul's best interests 
seemed to awaken them to a sense of its paramount 
importance. Previous to Alice's visits they were not 
in the habit of going to any place of worship, but 
afterwards they became constant attenders. At one 
time Alice had strong hopes that the wife had expe- 
rienced a change of heart, but subsequently had rea- 
son to fear that in both the man and his wife the word 
of life was like the good seed sown on stony ground 
and among thorns. 

All the neighbors and poor families living near 
Tswedelle speak of Alice with great affection. One 
said to her sister, who was visiting her in her cottage 
a short time after Alice's death, at the same time 
turning away her face to hide the falling tears, ''Her 
death was one of those mysterious providences for 
which we cannot account. She was a great loss to 
the neighborhood." Many such remarks have been 
made by those who now miss her bright face and 
affectionate interest in both their temporal and spirit- 
ual welfare. In the following letter to her sister 
Carrie, "I " is first mentioned: — 

"Tswedelle, June 19, 1859. 
* * * "I felt very drowsy in meetmg this morn- 
ing. I do think I tried with all my human strength 
to resist it, but all of no avail ; then I made up my 
mind that there was some way for me to get rid of it, 
as it certainly was not the Lord's will for me to sleep, 
and, as I had found it utterly impossible to do it my- 
self. He would certainly take it away if I asked with 
faith. So I asked not only to be kept from drowsi- 



46 OKf THE ROCK: ^t. 20. 

ness, but to be made to think just what He would have 
me to think; and, indeed, dear Carrie, I never had 
a meeting when I seemed so near to Christ; I could 
not feel sleepy any more, my heart was so busy prais- 
ing Him. I seemed to come to the conclusion, with- 
out any effort of thought on my part, that it was my 

duty to present the truth to I 's family; I do not 

know what made me even think of them, but I could 
not feel a doubt as to my duty. * * * 

*' After tea I went, and found his wife washing up 
the tea things. I sat down and commenced to talk, 
and was in the midst of reading the third chapter of 

John when I came in, and then I presented the 

gospel. They seemed to like to hear; said they 
knew they were doing wrong in putting off religion 
until they should have more time. I told them they 
were neglecting the only thing that could ever make 
them happy. I tried to show them Jesus Christ as 
the way, the truth, and the life. I think I set forth 
Christ and nothing else, and urged them to accept 
Him now while they had the time and opportunity. 
The beautiful plan of salvation never seemed so dear 
to me as when I was telling them about it. They 
invited me to come again next Sabbath, and I intend 
going if nothing happens to prevent. I gave them 
my little 'Come to Jesus,' and I hope they will 
read it. 

''Pray for me, dear, that I may be enabled not 
only to see my duty, but to do it with a real love 
for it. 

"I feel that there is one person before whom I 
must lay the truth more fully than I have ever done. 
Oh may the Lord enable me to do it just as He 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 47 

would have me to do it, with great humbleness, 
meekness, and gentleness, that I may not injure the 
cause by any appearance of setting myself up above 
others. ' ' 

"June 15, 1859. 
''Did I tell thee, dear, that father brought me an 

invitation from Miss to meet a few friends 

there to tea on 3d day. I felt uncertain as to how 
large a company it would be, and fortunately met 

Miss at Mrs. B 's that afternoon. I found 

it was to be quite a large dancing party, and so de- 
clined, on the plea that I never intend to go to any 
more dancing parties or even large companies of any 
kind. They evidently thought it very strange, but I 
am glad that I got off on the true ground. 

* * * ''I do hope, my precious sister, that 
thou mayest be enabled to see thy duty clearly with 

regard to the work at M , and that thou mayest 

have strength given thee from the only true source to 
labor faithfully in His cause. Remember that ' His 
strength is made perfect in our weakness,' and if he 
has anything for us to do, He will certainly fit us for 
it ; we ought not to doubt it for a moment. 

''I cannot write more now; but do write to me 
and strengthen me. With an earnest prayer that we 
may both be kept in the full light of the Sun of 
Righteousness, I remain, very lovingly, thy sister, 

Alice." 

To H. W. S. 

"TsWEDELLE, July I, 1859. 

* * * ''I have thought of thee much, dear H. ; 
I know thou hast a very responsible position to fill. 



48 ON THE ROCK: /ET. 20. 

and if thou wast alone I should indeed tremble for 
thee ; but I know that He who has all power is 
simply using thee as an instrument to accomplish His 
own work, and oh, it is such a comfort to think that 
as a carpenter does not send his chisel or hammer to 
do a piece of work, and stand at a distance to watch 
it, but carefully guides it with his own hand, and it 
is his skill and power that accomplishes the work, so 
our great Master does not send His tools to work 
away from Him, but comes and is Himself the power 
and skill needed. Surely we should not think it 
modesty in the poorest tool in the sculptor's studio, 
should he choose to use it on his finest marble, to 
refuse on the ground that the end could not be 
accomplished with it ; would it not rather be doubting 
its master's skill and judgment? The more we re- 
alize this, the more our minds will be at rest regarding 
any labor we may be called to perform." * * * 

"July 3, 1859. 
'' My Own Dear Carrie : 

* * * . << J ^j^ sitting in my bay window; it is 
just after sunset, and the wind, which blows very cool 
and strong from the west, is bending and tossing 
about the soft green tree tops in the woods in the 
most fascinating and graceful manner, making a de- 
lightful wavy, rustling sound that really reminds one 
of the ocean. How lovely our Lord has made every- 
thing. 

'^ I have been thinking about holiness, dear Carrie, 
and I have trembled at the thought of expecting to be 
kept from sin ; but we know that our Master never 
tells us to do what we cannot do, and He will Him- 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WBITALL. 49 

self give us strength to do all things. He says, 
' There hath no temptation taken you but such as is 
common to man ; but God is faithful who will not 
suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able, but 
will with the temptation also make a way of escape 
that ye may be able to bear it. ' I do believe, Carrie, 
that we may fail through unbelief and forgetfulness ; 
but then we must always come right back to the blood 
of cleansing, and promise, through Christ strengthen- 
ing us, never to do so again. I do not know how to 
explain myself, but at first I thought that if I should 
once fall I would never be able to try again, but now 
I see that it would simply be because I did not have 
faith enough; so all we miist do is to seek for more 
faith, and keep nearer to Jesus, our strength. * * * 

" I have been talking with M (the coachman) 

about Jesus ; he says he never prays but in church, 
but he said he would pray Jesus to give him a new 
heart, that he might love and serve Him. I wish he 
really would do it, but I am afraid he will forget 

-■4- Jjx ^ ^ 

^' I have a whole heart full to say to thee, darling, 
but I will only inclose a little piece of poetry I have 
been enjoying very much. I alter the last two lines 
of the first verse : — 

' Father, I know that all my life 

Is portioned out for me, 
And the changes that are sure to come 

I do not fear to see j 
For every one will only bring 

Me nearer home to Thee j' 

*' instead of 

' But I ask Thee for a present mind 
Intent on pleasing Thee.' 

5 



50 ON THE ROCK: ^T. 20. 

*' I only change it because it gives me more comfort 
my way. I enjoy saying it over to myself so much. 

'' Carrie, dear, there is one thing which I must tell 
thee, and that is if thou wants to receive much grace, 
thou must pray much. There are many promises in 
the Bible that we shall receive what we ask for, but 
He does not promise to give them to us unless we 

ask for them. Mrs. K gave me an idea which I 

have indeed proved to be true, and one which I con- 
fess I was too forgetful of before. It is the necessity 
of having frequent stated times during the day when 
we can stop doing everything else, and pray to and 
commune with our Lord alone. She said she believed 
the idea that many had, that if they kept in a spirit of 
prayer all the time there was no necessity for with- 
drawing alone for a season of prayer, was the cause 
of their not growing more in grace. ' We must re- 
member,' said she, 'that our souls must be fed, or 
we cannot do anything aright, and when we are not 
in the spirit of prayer, that is just the time when we 
need the more to go and ask Him who is able to do 
all things to give us the spirit of prayer.' " 

"TswEDELLE, July 19, 1859. 
* * * ''Thou need not look for us, dear Carrie, 
until the last of next week, for there are many things 
I must do first j * * * and what is of far more im- 
portance, I have I and his wife particularly on 

my mind just now. * * * j feel such a deep interest 
in them, and I do pray the Lord to bless them, and 
make them really his own ; and oh, I hope He will 
keep satan from making me feel for an instant that I 
have had anything to do in this matter, more than to 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 51 

deliver the message of the Lord. Indeed I do realize 
how perfectly powerless / am, and I hope He will 
make me realize it more fully still." 

To A. U. C. 

" TSWEDELLE, Aug, lO, 1 859. 

^' My Dear Friend : 

*'I suppose before this reaches thee you will have 
heard of the death of our darling little ' baby Alice;' 
but I feel that I must take this first opportunity to tell 
you a little more particularly about it, and in what an 
especial manner this blow has been softened to her 
mother, by the same hand that dealt it. Indeed it 
has filled me with wonder to see how He took every 
rebellious feeling out of her heart ; and even the selfish 
sorrow which we by our nature must feel for our loss 
seems almost swallowed up in the thought that it is 
His will, who doeth all things well; and then what 
is there left for her to mourn for ? 

'^ We all know that there is, and must be for along, 
long time, a void, an aching void, in that mother's 
heart, which we can little understand, as we cannot 
even imagine what the love of a mother towards her 
child is ; but when we remember how entirely that 
little life was interwoven with her own, how for nearly 
eight months that little being was her constant care, 
our hearts must ache for her ; but if He fills the 
vacancy with Himself, as I know He will, we must 
rejoice. 

^' I must tell thee a little about our darling. Nearly 
two weeks ago she was taken with summer com- 
plaint, but was so much better when I arrived at Mill- 
ville, just a week ago yesterday, that she came out to 



52 ON THE ROCK: tKT. 20. 

the gate to meet me in her little carriage, looking 
bright, and fat, and well. Oh, I should so have loved 
to have had you see her as she looked that day, in 
her short clothes, her dainty little feet in such a tiny 
pair of patent leather slippers, and her whole person 
so perfectly cunning ; but her little face leaning so 
shyly against the side of her carriage, I do not know 
how to describe. She never was, before her sickness, 
what one would call a beautiful child, but that day 
her great dark violet eyes, so deep and full of mean- 
ing, had a peculiar look in them, that did not belong 
to a child of her age, which made me feel anxious 
about her from that moment. Her complexion was 
very fair, so pure and transparent that the delicate 
coloring on her little cheeks was more exquisite than 
I ever imagined human flesh could be ; and then the 
sweet rosebud mouth, with the lips just parted in 
astonishment at her old auntie's big face thrust in her 
little carriage so unceremoniously. But we have had 
to watch that darling face grow thinner and paler, and 
those bright eyes grow dim, until the expression of 
patient suffering was changed for the peaceful smile 
of death. She grew worse again the night I got 
there, although we had no idea that she was danger- 
ously ill until Seventh day, when, at the doctor's sug- 
gestion, we brought her home to Tswedelle, for 
change of air, and that night our doctor said she was 
very sick, that he feared her brain was affected, which 
indeed proved to be the truth. She rapidly sank, 
growing weaker and weaker, until 2d day morning at 
a quarter to eight o'clock she quietly ceased to breathe, 
and we knew that her spirit had fled. 

*' We took her little body to Laurel Hill yesterday, 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 53 

where they have bought a small piece of ground 
under the overspreading branches of a great old tulip 
poplar, in a very retired spot, where the birds sing, 
and the sun shines through the leaves all day long, 
on the soft green grass — a fit spot to lay the casket 
that held our little treasure." * * * 

After the funeral of her baby niece, Alice accom- 
panied her sister and brother-in-law on a short journey 
to Saratoga* and the Catskill Mountains, and soon 
after their return, with her usual disinterested thought- 
fulness, went to visit and cheer her sister during her 
many lonely hours at Millville. The following letters 
give some account of the journey, and of her visit 
to Millville : — 

" Catskill Mountains, 8th mo. 21, 1859, 
*' My own Dearest Mother : 

*' We received thy note and M *s this morning; 

they were forwarded from Saratoga, which place we 
left yesterday morning. We seemed to get through 
our visit there, so thought it would be pleasant to just 
step up here, and take a look off the top ; and I am 
delighted that we did. " I think the falls are perfectly 
lovely ; I could spend a day there, for indeed I felt 
as if I could not help sketching every tree and rock 
I came to. 

' ' Uncle W and Aunt P arrived last even- 
ing to meet us, and this morning we went to the top 
of North Mountain, where we sat down on the rocks 
under the shade of some trees, and read and talked 
about Jesus, 

* * * ''Thee don't know, my own sweet little 

5* 



54 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 20. 

mother, how it rejoiced my old heart to get thy little 
bit of a note ; but one thing I missed, and that was a 
message from father. Why didn't that dear man send 
his love ?" 

"TswEDELLE, Sept. 6, 1859. 
'' My own Annie: 

* * * '*Thou art in my mind continually, my 
darling sister. It does not seem as if we are so far 
separated now as we used to be, for we meet every day, 
and many times a day, at the mercy-seat, and that 
brings us in reality very near. 

'*I am so glad thou likes 'The Assurance of Faith ;' 
I think it sets forth the truth in a very clear light ; 
but then, afier all, it depends entirely upon the Holy 
Spirit to bring it home to the heart. I see more and 
more clearly that it is not in the power of any one 
to make another understand the truth ; we can pre- 
sent it, but that is all, and when their eyes are opened 
then they will see. * * * 

'* M. M. J goes home next week. I shall be 

sorry to have her go, for she is so much company, 
and makes the house so cheerful with her pretty 
German face always so bright and happy, and her 
broken English, so quaint it often makes me laugh ; 
and her voice ! I wish thou could hear her sing. She 
is yery lovely and lovable, and what is better, I do 
believe, a real Christian, and our mutual love for the 
Saviour has brought us nearer together than anything 
else could. It is so nice to be able to read the 
3criptures together, and talk of our glorious hope as 
we read, JIow I long, darling, to enjoy this sweet 
communion with thee; but we must not think of what 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 55 

we cannot have ; and, indeed, when we have Christ, 
and the Bible to tell us about Him, and the Holy- 
Spirit to make us understand its teachings, we have 
enough spiritual blessings to make us wonder how He 
could be so good to us, in whom, we know, there is 
no good thing. 

* * * ''How I do long to see Charley and dear 
little baby Anna, my only little niece on earth now. 
I can scarcely bear her to grow so old without my 
seeing anything of her, and all the sweet little baby 
ways I love to watch. It seems to me I feel my loss 
in our little Alice's removal more now than I have at 
all. While I was with Carrie I was thinking of her 
loss, but now I am beginning to realize how much I 
loved her." 





CHAPTER IV. 

NE of the first fruits of Alice's labor for the 
salvation of others was her young friend M. 
M. J., who had been spending her summer 
vacation at Tswedelle. She had enjoyed very few 
outward religious privileges, but the Lord had pre- 
pared her heart, and during this visit she was enabled 
to receive with remarkable fulness the glorious salva- 
tion of Jesus, which it was Alice's privilege to set 
before her. To her the following letter was ad- 
dressed : — 



"MiLLViLLE, Sept. i8, 1859. 
*'My Dear M : 

* * * (< Tuesday we spent all day, until three 

o'clock, shopping. I then went up to G 's, very 

warm and very tired, and she petted me up, and 
made me lie down and take a good nap, from which 
I got up refreshed about tea-time. In the evening we 

went to see R 's musical friend. She sang for us, 

but her voice (don't let it make you vain, little pussy) 
was not half so sweet to my ears as a little robin's I 
know, so I did not care much for it. 

'' The next morning I started for Millville, and had 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 57 

a long and tiresome ride, but as the people in the 
stage were very quiet, I had a nice time thinking over 

all that R told us the day before. He dwelt on 

such precious truths, none of which is more neces- 
sary to be kept in mind than that of Christ's love. 
The more we realize this, the more will our poor 
hearts be filled with peace and joy, and an overwhelm- 
ing love in return. If we find our hearts growing 
cold, or doubting, or desponding ; if we see in our" 
selves a tendency to dislike the work He has given us 
to do ; or if we feel sad and lonely, or uncharitable 
to those around us, we will find that it is because we 
are not looking at Christ's love to us, that wondrous 
love, which, as we realize it, will fill every want in 
man's nature. If we dwell on anything short of 
Christ and His unchanging love, which first awoke 
us, while we were yet dead in trespasses and sins, to 
a knowledge of Himself, and which will not surely 
now forsake us, we find ourselves in darkness. * * * 

'^ It seemed inexpressibly sad to come here and 
find no baby; but now it is like a dream that we ever 
had one at all, it seems so long ago. 

*' Carrie and I have had two delightful rides on 

horseback-'together, but all day yesterday and the day 

before it rained very hard, so that we did not go out, 

but I sewed and Carrie read to me in D'Aubigne." 
* * * 

It had been the custom of these sisters during 
Alice's frequent visits to Millville, before her conver- 
sion, to spend much time in boating. Alice was very 
fond of sketching, and the Maurice River, which ran 
directly along the foot of the hill upon which the 



58 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 20. 

residence of her brother-in-law was situated, the 
banks of which are very woody and picturesque, 
afforded her an opportunity of gratifying her taste. 
Early in the morning, Alice and her sister used to get 
into their little boat, and row themselves about three- 
quarters of a mile up the river, where they entered a 
region so wild and entirely uncultivated that it seemed 
as if there human beings had never before found their 
way. The water coming from the cedar swamps was 
of a dark amber color, and so clear that the pebbly 
bottom was plainly visible. In some places the trees 
nearly met overhead, and here, before some grand old 
giant of the forest, would they moor their little boat, 
and while Alice, with sketch-book and pencil, trans- 
ferred its gnarled and knotty branches to paper, her 
sister read to her from some favorite author. 

In her subsequent visits to Millville, Alice preferred 
spending the time in visiting the laborers on the 
place, endeavoring in her weakness to sow precious 
seed, by bearing the ''glad tidings" from house to 
house. They often, however, spent moonlight even- 
ings on the river, and at such times, while their little 
bark floated noiselessly on the water, Alice's sweet 
voice might be heard singing her favorjte hymns. 
Among those most fresh in the recollection of her 
companions are: — 



And 
Also, 



" Nearer, my God, to Thee, 
Nearer to Thee." 

" We rest in Christ, the Son of God." 



" Guide me, oh, thou great Jehovah." 
One of her especial favorites was '* The Lord will 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHIT ALL. 59 

provide." This she committed to memory, and 
would sometimes repeat for her own and others' com- 
fort. The metrical version of the 23d Psalm was 
also a great favorite, and was frequently sung by her 
on these occasions. Her sister, in writing about it 
after her death, says : '^ How those times come back 
to me as I write about them ! Precious Alice ! I can 
almost hear her sweet voice floating gently over the 
water, and feel myself now, as then, drawn nearer to 
God and our heavenly home." 

Alice also very much enjoyed horseback excur- 
sions. She was a fearless and daring rider, n!anaging 
with perfect ease a horse which most ladies would fear 
to mount, always taking the poorest saddle, and acting 
as escort to her more timid companion. 

Thus would these sisters scour the country for 
miles around, exploring all the narrow and unfre- 
quented wood roads they came upon. Sometimes 
they would lose their way, and ride for miles before 
coming to a log cabin to inquire the direction home- 
ward. These excursions were often turned into work 
for the Lord, whom they both now delighted to serve. 
At the lonely cabin of some woodcutter they would 
stop, and there tell of the gospel of Jesus Christ, 
which was to these poor ignorant ones good news in- 
deed. Alice generally carried some tracts or leaflets, 
which she would hand, with a few pleasant words, to 
the teamsters whom they met, and often as they rode 
along, her little testament would be drawn from her 
pocket, and she would dwell with delight on some 
comforting promise or sweet assurance of love and 
support in every time of need. 

Her sister relates that on one occasion as they were 



6o ON THE ROCK: JV.i. 20. 

returning from a visit to an old hermit, who for fifteen 
years had lived by himself in the woods, and though 
now dying of consumption, and scarcely able to 
gather a few sticks together for a fire, still preferred 
his solitary cabin, Alice remarked, '' How precious a 
thing it is that we have 2. free salvation to offer to the 
poor and the ignorant. If they had to do one thing 
to earn it, or to make themselves ready to receive it, 
I should not be half so happy as I go among them. 
Now I go full of joy, knowing that nothing but their 
unwillingness to receive the forgiveness of all their 
sins through Jesus Christ stands between them and 
eternal life. It seems to me it is such an honor to be 
allowed the privilege of proclaiming this glorious 
gospel of the free mercy and grace of God. I have 
been thinking all the morning of that text in Isaiah : 
' How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of 
Him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth sal- 
vation,' " adding, ''I wonder if it is wrong to apply 
it to one's self?" 

To A. U. C. 

" MiLLVILLE, Sept. 21, 1859. 

*' My own Dear Friend : 

* * * '' Carrie and I have been enjoying D'Au- 
bigne's ^ History of the Reformation' so much. I do 
not see how any one can read it without becoming 
convinced that justification by faith in Jesus Christ is 
not simply a doctrine of particular sects, but is at the 
root of all Christianity. 'The church has fallen,* 
says D'Aubigne, ' because the great doctrine of justi- 
fication by faith in the Saviour had been taken away 
from her. It was necessary, therefore, before she 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 6i 

could rise again, that this fundamental truth should 
be restored to her.* It was this doctrine that was the 
stronghold of Luther, and gave him, a poor monk, 
with nothing but the truth of God to lean upon, the 
power to overthrow the mighty Church of Rome. 
'This article of justification,' says Luther, 'is what 
creates the church, nourishes it, edifies it, preserves 
and defends it. No one can teach worthily in the 
church, or oppose an adversary with success, if he 
does not adhere to this truth.' Let me give thee one 
more quotation, but first — ' ' * * * 

The other sheet of this letter has been lost ; instead 
thereof some of her favorite passages are given as 
they were marked and underscored by her, in the 
volume of the reformation which she was then read- 
ing. 

*' I see," says Luther, **that the devil is continually 
attacking this fundamental article." * * * ''Well, 
then, I, Dr. Martin Luther, unworthy herald of the 
gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ, confess this article, 
\\idX faith alone without works justifies before God^ 

* * * " There is no one," continues he, "who has 
died for our sins, if not Jesus Christ the Son of God. 

* * * And if it is He alone that taketh away our 
sins, it cannot be ourselves and our works. But 
good works follow redemption, as the fruit grows on 
the tree." And of himself he says: "Although I 
was a holy and blameless monk, my conscience was 
nevertheless full of trouble and anguish. I could not 
endure those words — 'The righteousness of God.' 

* * * But when by the Spirit of God I understood 
these words, when I learned how the justification of 
the sinner proceeds from the free mercy of our God 

6 



62 ON THE ROCK: .et. 20. 

through faith, then I felt born again like a new man; 
I entered through the open doors into the very para- 
dise of God. Henceforward, also, I saw the beloved 
and Holy Scriptures with other eyes. * * * And as 
previously I had detested with all my heart those 
words, 'the righteousness of God,' I began from that 
hour to value them and to love them as the sweetest 
and most consoling words in the Bible." 

Although the subject is too sacred to be fully dwelt 
upon, a word must be said in reference to Alice's de- 
votion to her beloved parents. Realizing that, as the 
only child remaining at home, she was the object of 
their tenderest love, it was the natural result of this 
feeling to manifest by every word and action the 
affectionate solicitude of her heart. When absent 
from them, she took refuge from undue anxiety on 
their account by casting her care upon the Lord, as 
will be seen in the following letter : — 

" MiLLviLLE, Sept. 19, 1859. 
'* My own Darling Mother : 

*' Not a word from thee since 3d day ! I try not to 
feel anxious, as I know that you are in the hands of 
our dear Master, who can and does take a great deal 
better care of you than I could were I at home. It 
is indeed an inexpressible comfort to leave you with 
implicit confidence in His hand, and to know that it 
is with a love far surpassing mine that He watches 
over my own darling parents, who seem to grow so 
much dearer to rne every day. * * * 

^'I often think when we are having a nice cosy 
time, one sewing and the other reading aloud in 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 63 

D'Aubigne, how splendid it would be if we could 
only have our precious mother sitting with us ; but 
nevertheless truth compels me to say that we have 
very nice times as it is, and I hope that it is not plea- 
sure alone that we derive from each other's constant 
companionship. Indeed we ought, with all the 
privileges that are so mercifully granted us, to grow 
daily in grace, and learn constantly how best to serve 
that Master who has done so much for us ; and I 
think nothing will fill the soul so full of a steadfast, 
resolute endeavor to serve Him, as contemplating the 
wondrous love and perfect work of our Saviour. The 
fear of our Creator as a righteous and just Judge may 
force us into outward obedience, but nothing except 
looking unto Him, as David did, as ' our strength and 
our Redeemer, ' can melt our hearts into love and sub- 
mission to His will and His commandments. 

*'We rode on horseback out to old Mrs. Loder's 
the other day. Her husband, who, thou knowest, has 
been feeble for years, is much worse. I do not sup- 
pose he can live a great while ; but he says he does 
not dread to go, for although he has never done any- 
thing good enough for his Heavenly Father to for- 
give him his many sins for, yet he feels sure that they 
will be forgiven and washed away in the blood of 
* the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the 
world.' 

''Is it not a noticeable fact that both the great Dr. 
Johnson, who for so many years was diligent in his 
efforts to win Heaven by his own works, and this poor 
old man, on their deathbeds found their only comfort 
in abandoning their own righteousness for the right- 
eousness of Christ?" 



64 ON THE ROCK: >et. 20. 

The old man above referred to, when first visited 
by the sisters, and questioned as to his hopes of 
Heaven, replied, ''That he thought he had as good 
a right to go happy as anybody ; he hadn't been like 
other folks, he had always kept the Sabbath, and, 
when he was well, been to church regular, and he was 
sure he hadn't never done no harm to nobody." At 
first it seemed hopeless to find a lodgment for the 
truth that " all have sinned and come short of the 
glory of God," for " whosoever shall keep the whole 
law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all," 
and that though ''the wages of sin" must be " death," 
" the^/// of God is eternal life, through Jesus Christ 
our Lord." It was only after many months visiting 
that the Holy Spirit opened his understanding to see 
and his heart to believe that salvation is not of works, 
but a free gift of grace, through faith in Christ 
Jesus. 

He lived some years after this, and it was really 
delightful to witness his simple childlike faith in his 
Saviour. Alice's visits were among his chief pleasures ; 
he particularly delighted in the sweet hymns she 
loved so much to sing to him. At such times the 
radiant expression of his face, and the clasping of 
his hands, while he sat in rapt attention, occasionally 
breaking in with such exclamations as "That's true !" 
or " Precious Jesus!" would have formed a study for 
a painter. Though sometimes questioned pretty 
closely as to the ground of his hope and confidence, 
the answer was always the same — ^^ Jesus, ''^ "Jesus 
has forgiven," or "Jesus is on my side." His past 
inoffensive life was not now, as formerly, his hope 
and dependence, but he felt that his feet were firmly 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL . 65 

planted upon ''the Rock of Ages," which could 
never be moved. 



" TSWEEELLE, NoV. 12, 1 859. 

*' My own Carrie : 

'' I went to the city on 5th day, and staid all night 

with H . In the evening we had a good talk all 

by ourselves, but it can't be retailed. One thing 

H talked about that did me good. It was the 

necessity of making the work which we do especially 
for Christ the main object, not only of our life, but 
of every day, and hour, and minute of it. That we 
should make all our household and social duties sub- 
servient to it, instead of it to them, as she clearly 
showed me that we do. She says we ought every 
moment, no matter what we are doing, to be watching 
and waiting for an opportunity of doing or saying 
something in His cause. If we are not thus waiting, 
we are making something else the object of our lives, 
at least for that moment. If we were always thus 
holding other things subservient to our Master's work, 
how much more we would find to do ; and even if 
we did not find anything for a whole day, we should 
have glorified Him all the same. 

''In the morning we spent an hour with Mrs. 

K . H asked her to explain more about ' the 

gift of holiness,' which the Methodists talk so much 
about, and which she professes. I wish I could give 
thee even an idea of what she said. I believe it is 
simply an entire consecration of the will, and an 
acceptance of Christ as our strength. She said it 
presented itself to her thus : ' Hitherto I have con- 
sidered that I was free to choose my will or the Lord's 

6* 



66 ON THE ROCK: /et. 20. 

will, to follow Him where He leads or not ; but now 
I will give up that power and bind myself to choose 
the Lord's will always.' And it is from this that she 
has never fallen ; that is, she has never voluntarily 
chosen her own way instead of the Lord's. She says 
she would not say she has not sinned, for she has 
been overcome suddenly, and may sin unconsciously, 
but she trusts the Lord for that, and, indeed, for 
everything. Personally she is charming in conversa- 
tion, but better than that, I hope I have learned from 
her. How I wished for thee ! Darling, is thy will 
consecrated ? I think mine is. It is a fearfully 
solemn thing to say, but it is a solemn thing to live." 

*' Nov. 23d, 1859. I have been walking very 
quietly the past week, dear Carrie, doing little 
apparently for the Lord. I have been held by the 
iron fingers of surrounding circumstances ; but I 
know that it is for some good purpose, or the Lord 
would not have allowed it. I hope and pray that it 
may teach me the lesson intended. 

*'I have been made to think very seriously about 
those passages : * If any man will confess me before 
men, him will I confess before my Father.' Matt. x. 
32. 'If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord 
Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath 
raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.' 
Rom. X. 9. * * * 

*'I was very glad to hear about thy talks with J. 

M and B ; how strange it is that it takes us 

so long to learn that these things are privileges ! I 
wonder when we shall begin to think how much we can 
do, and not how little? The trouble is that we think 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 67 

we do want to do much, but it must be just what 
suits our tastes. What hearts we have ! ' ' 

To M. M. J. 

"TSWEDELLE, DeC. 3, 1859. 



*'My Dear M : 

*^ I took tea with R the other evening, and we 

had a good talk about the things of the kingdom, and 
our dear Saviour's love to us. Just think, dear 

M , of our all singing praises together some day, 

before the throne of the Lamb ! How very trivial 
are all the cares and troubles that look to us now so 
very grievous, when compared with the great joy 
that will fill our hearts then ; and to think that it will 
\2jiX forever ! The thought of its all being a free gift, 
just given to us out of mercy, makes me so happy. 
Sometimes I think Christians are very apt, in directing 
all their attention to living a Christian life, to forget 
about this great salvation which we have so freely re- 
ceived, and the love that gave it, which always re- 
mains the same, however we may change. They 
really forget the gift, in their anxiety to show their 
gratitude for it ; in fact, they get to looking at them- 
selves instead of at Christ. My heart's desire and 
prayer for us both is, that we may be filled with the 
love of Christ, until all self'x^ lost in Him. 

*'In thinking, darling, about the prayers of other 
Christians being more likely to be answered than our 
own, I think we should take into consideration what 
it is that makes a prayer effectual. Let us use an 
illustration. Suppose a prisoner is entreating a judge 
for pardon ; the first thing urged is the great need for 
the favor asked, and the next and all important thing 



OS ON THE ROCK: >et. 20. 

is a righteous plea, or ground on which it can be 
granted without offending stern justice. Now, if such 
a plea be wanting, however eloquently the case is 
urged, if the judge is righteous, the favor is not 
granted ; but if the plea be good, no matter how 
feebly the thing is stated, it will be granted. 

''And is it not the same with our petitions to our 
Heavenly Father ? Have we not all great need? and 
oh, happy thought ! have not all who believe in Jesus 
a righteous plea to bring? And if so, have they not 
all the same reason why their prayers should be 
answered ? If it depended upon our own righteous- 
ness, or the eloquence of our appeals, whether our 
prayers would be heard, then, indeed, would our 
humility force us to feel that others' prayers were 
more acceptable than our own. But when we re- 
member that our requests are not granted for our 
sakes, but for Christ's sake, we must be convinced 
that it makes no difference by whom the prayer is 
offered, if it be but asked believing that it will be 
answered for Christ's sake. Do not misunderstand 
me, dear, and think that I do not value the prayers 
of others. I think it a great comfort to be able to 
pray for our friends, and also to feel that they pray 
for us. * * * 

''It is very nice, dear M , to think of you as 

taking the same comfort that I do in feeling that our 
Lord knows and permits every little occurrence in 
our lives, and that nothing could happen to us with- 
out His will ; when we realize that He is constantly 
watching over and loving us, it is much easier to get 
along. 

"You speak of your Sabbath-school. I am very 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 69 

glad you have a class. Do not be discouraged, even 
if your scholars seem unpromising; remember it is 
the Lord's work, and He will take care of it and fit 
you for it. It is a great comfort to me whenever I 
think of speaking to any one about Christ, to realize 
that if the Lord has anything for me to say to 
them, He will show me what it is, and will give me 
both the opportunity and the strength to say it. I 
really am astonished more and more every day at the 

great goodness of the Lord. Oh, M , we need 

never fear: He will take care of us. Sometimes, 
when, as you say, a cloud seems to cover us, and we 
cannot see Him, or realize that He really does love 
and pity us, it is very hard to hold fast to our faith. 
But do not let us doubt Him. Surely it was out of 
pure mercy that * He spared not His own Son, but 
delivered Him up for us all ; how shall He not with 
Him also freely give us all things >' * * * 

*' With an earnest prayer to our Lord Jesus Christ, 
that He will perfect His will both in you and through 
you to those around you, I am your affectionate 
friend." 

"Phila., Dec. 28, 1859. 
* * My own Precious Mamma : 

*'Thy letter, written yesterday, came to hand at 
dinner time, much to my satisfaction. If thee isn't 
the sweetest little mother that ever lived to say so 
kindly that thee is not lonely, and that I had better 
stay a few days longer, if I wish to ! But I would 
not encroach upon thy kindness, if there were not 
some reasons why it seems evidently best. * * * 
I hope by staying to get a chance of presenting the 



70 ON THE ROCK: jv.-x. 20. 

gospel to L , and letting her see at least what the 

Christain faith is. She is in such a net of Unitarian- 
ism that she has probably seldom heard much of any- 
thing else. I am also very glad of another chance of 
hearing Guinness, as I feel I am learning from him. 
The more I see of him, the more surprised I am to 
find how much he preaches many of the truths held 
by Friends, the guidance of the Holy Spirit, &c. 

* * * ''I expect you are enjoying D'Aubigne 
very much. I think I never read anything, the Bible, 
of course, excepted, that proves so clearly that 'justi- 
fication by faith in Christ* is, as he says, at the root 
of all Christianity. How clearly he shows that when 
the church lost this fundamental truth, it sank into 
heathenish darkness, until our kind Heavenly Father 
sent Luther to preach the glorious truth that salvation 
is the ' gift of God,' and cannot be bought by * in- 
dulgences,' fastings, or any other good works of our 
own." 

To a friend about to be married, she writes: — 

"TSAVEDELLE, Jan. 4, i860. 

* * * ''Dear , I long to see thee wedded 

to another, a heavenly Bridegroom, one from whom 
death could not separate thee, nor time estrange. I 
should then, indeed, be sure that thou would be hap- 
pier than any earthly circumstances, however propi- 
tious, could possibly make thee. Oh, dear friend, 
to know and be sure that death to thee will be but 
the Bridegroom taking the bride home to Himself, 
is inexpressibly sweet. But, dear, thou never can 
know this until thou hast cast thyself as a helpless, 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 71 

sinful child, upon the Lord Jesus Christ, to be and 
do everything for thee, to cleanse thee from thy sins, 
to save thee from the consequences of them, to sanc- 
tify thy soul, and to give thee of His strength that 
thou may glorify Him. Until thou trusts Him en- 
tirely and alo7ie, and ceases to trust in thyself for 
salvation, and hast become, like Abraham, fully 
persuaded that ^what He hath promised He is able 
also to perform,' thou never can know this rest. I 
am confident that in the bottom of thy heart thou 
feels that trusting in a general way to the mercy of 
God is very unsatisfactory. I know that there is a 
fascination in dwelling upon what we conceive to be 
the nobleness, greatness, and goodness of humanity, 
until in our own wisdom we exclaim, ' God has said 
He is a God of lovej surely if He is so. He cannot 
refuse to pardon man, at least while he has this germ 
of good in him so fit to be ripened in heaven.' 
But, ah, God's ways are not as our ways, neither 
are His thoughts as our thoughts; and is it not just 
possible that God, in the light of His own perfect 
righteousness, may pronounce as 'filthy rags' what 
our poor sin-defiled eyes can only behold as the most 
precious cloth of gold ? I have become satisfied that 
it is poorly worth while for us, with our finite minds, 
to judge what the infinite Being has declared, by what 
seems right to our reason. If God had not spoken 
to man, then man would have been left to use his own 
imagination; but God has spoken, and requires that 
man should believe what He says, even if it does 
seem like foolishness to him, for 'the foolishness of 
God is wiser than men.' Is not this what earthly 



72 ON THE ROCK: mi. 20. 

parents require of their children? and has not the 
Creator a vastly superior right to act thus towards us? 

"Excuse me, dear, for speaking thus freely; but 
I do so long that thou should be convinced that there 
are not many ways of salvation, but only one j that 
* there is none other name under heaven given among 
men whereby we must be saved but that of Jesus 
Christ.' * * * All are under condemnation until 
they are washed and made clean in the blood of 
Jesus; and until a person is convinced of this, there 
is no use in speaking of that great Saviour who died 
that all who put their trust in Him might live ; for 
behold, they make this wondrous sacrifice for sin of 
none effect, for if it is not needed by man, then, 
indeed, has Christ died in vain. And it amounts to 
the same thing to say that one can be accepted of 
God without a real vital union with Christ. * * * 

"I suppose you have heard of H. Grattan Guin- 
ness, the Irish preacher, who is doing such a wonder- 
ful work in Philadelphia. I did not expect to like 
him, as popular men so seldom preach only ^ Christ, 
and Him crucified,' as St. Paul said he did; but 
Guinness really does, and with wonderful power." 

"TSWEDELLE, Jail. 4, 1860. 

*' My Dear Carrie : 

* * * "It has been so very long since I have 
written thee, at least I have lived such a lifetime since 
then, that I hardly know what to say. I have so 
much, so very much, that I long to make thee under- 
stand ; but even if I were with thee, I do not think I 
could put it all in words, much less on paper. 

"In the first place, I have not written thee since I 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 73 

Stood by E 's bed, a short time before she breathed 

her last. I cannot express all it made me realize. I 
am sure I never realized before the greatness of the 
gift of eternal life, and what a Saviour Christ is. Oh, 
what should we do without Him? How could we live, 
and how could we meet death? We are, indeed, but 
as an atom of dust, utterly helpless. If His hand 
should cease to hold us up, where should we be.? I 
could have said all this before, but I never knew what 
it meant; but, oh, what inexpressible comfort to hear 
Christ say, * Whosoever believeth in me, though he 
were dead, yet shall he live, and whosoever liveth 
and believeth in me shall never die !' 

'*I spent Christmas week with H — '- — in the city; 
we heard Guinness almost every day, and I felt very 
thankful for the privilege, for he has taught me a 
great deal, particularly with regard to the love of 
God. I thought I knew it, but I find that I am only 
beginning to learn a part of it. I enjoyed my visit 
thoroughly, but have been tempted by Satan to sink 
under the weight of responsibility, yet hope I am 
learning that * Faith is without anxiety. ' ' ' 

*' January 6, i860. 

**I want to tell thee, darling Carrie, how my heart 

has" been drawn out in prayer for , I have such 

strong faith that it really surprises myself. I think it 
has come in answer to prayer that I might have the 
faith ; and while outwardly there is no apparent hope, 
I believe the Lord ivill do it, although I have often 
to fight to keep this faith. And now I do so wish 
thou could let thy whole heart out in prayer that the 
Lord will glorify Himself in this instance. Do be- 
7 



74 ON THE ROCK: tet. 20. 

seech Him to give thee faith, and pray daily and 
hourly; for the promise is clear, * If two of you shall 
agree on earth as touching anything that they shall 
ask, it shall be done for thei>i of my Father which is 
in Heaven.' " 

«*TswEDELLE, Jan. 13, i860. 
'^Dearest Carrie, 

"It is just a week to-day since I have been in the 
house with this cold, and I really can say that I am 
thankful for it — this week of quiet I mean — for I have 
realized that the Lord knew all about it, and that He 
had not a thing for me to do out of the house, or He 
would not have shut me up so completely. Being, 
therefore, at ease concerning the whole world, I 
turned my attention to trying to fulfil His will in 
retirement, and I think he has been teaching me. 

"In the first place I have found that it is harder to 
keep one's own spirit right one hour, lying on 4;he 
bed doing nothing, than to do a great many outwardly 
hard things; and I have had such a realization that 
Christ is as really and actually our strength for this 
as for other things. I don't know exactly how to 
express what I mean, but without a single good feel- 
ing to look up and say — 

' Lord, I am thine, be thou my might,' 

and know that He is keeping us that moment. This 
is the kind of faith that I believe we must exercise if 
we would be kept from sin; and it is this I have been 
learning practically. But as I know that with every 
accession of faith there must come, also, the trial of 
that faith, so I can hardly call this my own or fairly 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 75 

in my possession until it has passed through trials 
which I know are to come. * * * 

*'I understand what thou means by speaking to, 
and praying for, people ; I am convinced it is a great 
truth, so let us be encouraged ; we can pray always 
when we have no opening for outward service. Do 
not be discouraged, dear ; the Lord has thy life laid 
out as an outline map ; He knows all about it, and is 
portioning out every day as it comes. All thy part is 
to look up and say, 'Let thy will be done this day;' 
and so giving thy hand to Him, let Him lead thee. 
This is very simple, but hard to practice. 

''This quiet the Lord gives thee is not for naught; 
He is preparing thee for His own work in some way 
known only to Himself. * * jk 

' ' One thing more, dear ; do let us make it an espe- 
cial subject of prayer that, during our expected visit 
to New York, we may both be enabled to live every 
moment to the glory of God, doing everything as 
unto the Lord, and never forgetting for aa instant 
whose we are. I feel this particularly important, as 
I know that polite conversation on general topics is a 
great snare to me, as I am very apt not to take my 
religion into it; and I know that if the Lord does not 
keep me I shall dishonor Him. Thou knows our old 
way of looking at things is entirely opposed to the 
religion of Jesus, and I think our enemy will strive 
to entice us, at least in a degree, to return to things 
which are behind, instead of pressing forward to those 
which are before. Ah ! to walk in the spirit of 
Christ, that is what we are to do ; and He alone can 
keep me,'''' 



^6 ON THE ROCK: ^T. 20. 

In the early part of second month Alice went, in 
company with her sister Carrie, to New York to 
attend the wedding of a friend, to whom she was to 
act as bridesmaid. As might be expected from the 
prayerful spirit in which this visit was undertaken, 
which is manifested in the foregoing letter, while she 
went through with all the duties of her position, she 
was very much preserved from a worldly spirit, as 
will be seen by the following letters to her sister, 
who returned to her home shortly after the wed- 
ding:— 

"New York, February 9, i860, 
''My own Darling Carrie: 

** Thou cannot tell how alone I felt yesterday morn- 
ing after seeing you off; but I concluded it was a good 
chance riding up in the omnibus to have a quiet time, 
so shut my eyes to keep the world out, and though 
the enemy tried his best to put worldly thoughts under 
the eyelids, I appealed to One who is greater than he, 
and I realized Him as my strength. 

''Thou knows we were engaged to for that 

evening. In the afternoon there were many little 
things to do, and then came the weary dressing; it 
was more tiresome even than the evening before, but 
finally the bride and three bridesmaids descended to 
the parlors at exactly nine o'clock, ready to go. It 
was almost as great a crowd as the night before, and 
such dressing ! This is the outside ; as for the inside, 
it was more satisfactory than some of the parties have 
been. I could say, 'Jesus, lover of my soul,' and 
feel that He was hiding me in His bosom. I had a 
chance to confess Christ to * * * 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 77 

*'I have just had a little talk with . She has 

cut me to the heart; she thinks that the Unitarians 
do not dishonor Christ at all, and that there is no 
harm in their doctrine ; they say there is something 
divine in every heart which only needs developing, 
and she says this is Christ appearing in their hearts, 
and if they honor and obey it they honor Him, and 
are all right. Oh ! do pray for us ; my heart aches 
in its very depths. * * * 

''I have said little of my inner life ; but, oh ! there 
is such a fight all the time going on there to keep the 
faith, and finish the work He has given me to do, 
that I am so tired." * * * 

« New York, Feb. 18, i860. 

'^ I have much to tell thee, dear C , but I don't 

know where to begin. I do not know when I shall go 
home : I seem to have a concern on my mind not yet 
fulfilled \ but I hope by the last of the week to feel 
at liberty to return to the quiet of my peaceful home. 
My visit here has been much more satisfactory since 
the parties were over. 

*' I had a very nice visit to . I spent two 

hours, I should think, with them ; it was intensely in- 
teresting, and very satisfactory. I had a great con- 
cern on my mind about 's preaching that we have 

the guidance of the Holy Spirit before we are Christ^ 
ians. I could not bear that with so much truth he 
should preach this error which undermines the whole, 
so I concluded he should be made to think about it 
any way, if the Lord should give me opportunity, 

which He did that afternoon. seemed to agree 

very nearly with me, and said she had been thinking 

7* 



78 ON THE ROCK: 



i^T. 20. 



much on the subject, and felt it to be a very import- 
ant one. * * * 

*'I wish I knew what the Lord's will really is about 
my going home. I don't feel as if my mission is 
accomplished, so I am afraid to set the time, and yet 
I cannot leave it unset. I have not yet found a private 

opportunity to speak to , although I think he has 

heard considerable truth ; but he is not aware that he 
needs Jesus. I have left it with the Lord ; I know He 
will take care of it. * * * 

**The other day I went with N. S. to see Bella 
Cooke, a woman who enjoys what the Methodists 
call * the gift of holiness.' She has been confined 
to her bed for years, and yet seems to do nothing but 
praise the Lord all the time. It was perfectly refresh- 
ing to see her, and hear her talk. She gave us a little 
history of her life, which made me cry. How I v/ish 
thou could see her. My darling, I am in the same 
loving and protecting arms, Thy Sister." 

"TSWEDELLE, Feb. 28, i860. 

** My Dear Carrie : 

*' I am by the Lord's will safely home once more, 
and am determined to spend a part of this first even- 
ing talking to thee, while dear mother sits by me 
talking to me. Well, it is all over, and I don't know 
how to thank the dear Lord for His goodness to me 
during this season of so much temptation and such great 
responsibilities. I doubtless have erred in judgment 
many times, but I feel sure that He will overrule even this 
to His own glory. There is such a great work going 
on among our friends in New York, or, perhaps, I 
should say the beginning of a great work. came 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 79 

with me this morning as far as Elizabethtown. He 
evidently has and approves of the assurance of faith, 
as he said that no one could serve God until he had 
received pardon. He says he is free to confess that 
he has come to much clearer views on this subject 
lately, much to the comfort of his own soul ; and he 
thinks the Bible is so very clear all through in setting 
forth that we must be justified before we can be sanc- 
tified, that he can scarcely see how we could have 
remained so long in darkness on this most important 
subject. 

*^ I also had several very interesting talks with . 

He declared he never had heard of this gospel before. 
He thought it beautiful, and meant to go to the Bible 
to see if it were true. May the Lord take the truth 
home to his heart !" 

"TswEDELLE, March 2, i860. 
*' Dear Carrie : 

**It is a glorious morning ! The sun shines down 
upon the earth, and the earth seems to smile back 
upon the sun. I really seem to hear nature's hymn 
of praise to the Lord, and my heart sings too. I am 
convinced that we don't praise Him enough practi- 
cally. We surely ought to look more at His mercy 
and power, and not so much at the temptation around 
us. For myself, I know that 1 often gaze and gaze 
at the snares and pitfalls around me, until I sigh, 
thinking, ^ How shall I ever get by them?' when I 
ought to rejoice in that His powerful arm is my aid, and 
there is no fear while resting entirely on Him ; but I 
do not realize enough the personality of Jesus and 
His power and glory." 



8o ON THE ROCK ^t. 20, 

To M. M. J. 

" TsWEDELLE, March 11. 

'* Does my dear little M think that her old 

friend has forsaken her or forgotten her ? Oh, no, 
no : she knows better than that ; for even if my old 
affection should grow cold — which it never will — there 
is — oh, happy thought ! — a new bond of sympathy 
between us, which all eternity can never change ; for 
have we not the same precious Saviour, and does He 
not watch over us both with the same unchanging 
love ? and when we raise our hearts in love and ado- 
ration to Him, do we not meet there ? It is very sweet 
to think of this ; and it draws us very close together, 
does it not ? * * * j will try to give you a glimpse of 
my doings since New Year's, when we were together. 

'*I had a bad attack of neuralgia after I returned 
from the city, which, with a severe cold, kept me in 
the house and bed about two weeks ; and, will you 
believe it, I really enjoyed it, I had such a splendid 
time to think over all Guinness had taught me of the 
wondrous love of God. It is enough to occupy our 
thoughts for all our lives, and even then we shall not 
know it all. Truly, as he said, there is no rest but in 

the love of Christ. Oh, M , I have had such a 

.treat in reading A. Newton on the Songs of Solomon. 
I feel now that I never read any poetry before I read 
these songs. They develop ^ the idea of Christ as 
the bridegroom of the church,' which is one of great 
comfort and joy to me. I do nothing but dream 
Solomon's Songs now; but I cannot stop to try even 
to tell you what deeper depths of Christ's love I have 
been allowed to contemplate lately. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 8 1 

'* You know I was to go to N. Y., to be bridesmaid 

for a friend, in February. C and I spent a week 

first in Brooklyn, and had a very nice time ; then 
came the wedding and all the gayeties. I did not 
know that I should have to go to so many parties, or 
I would have hesitated about accepting the honor of 
bridesmaid ; but as it was, they did me no harm, and 
on several occasions I had a chance to speak a word 
for Jesus at them, so I did not ^aind it much. 

* * * ^' May you indeed grow in the knowledge 
of the love of God, for the more we know of His 
love, the more we shall love, and serve, and glorify 
Him. With this prayer, I am, as ever, your loving 

''Alice." 





CHAPTER V. 

LICE was deeply concerned for the salvation 
of her unconverted friends, and many letters 
written to such are remarkable for their clear 
and simple statements of gospel truth. It has, how- 
ever, been found impossible to insert them all, and 
only some of those written in the earlier part of her 
Christian life have been retained. While much of the 
fruit of her labors has been manifested, eternity alone 
will reveal all the blessings which are the result of 
these letters, written in faith and with many prayers. 



"TswEDELLE, April 19, i860. 
*' My Dear Friend : 

' ' I am as much surprised at finding myself writing 
to you again as you probably are at receiving another 
letter from me. I should not have thought of doing 
so, but I believe the Lord has given me a concern to 
write to you, for I cannot shake it off. It certainly is 
not the Lord's will that you should continue thus 
doubting His mercy toward you, when there is abso- 
lutely nothing but unbelief between you and perfect 
peace, and there is no reason why you should not, 
this very night, nay, this very hour, know that all 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. ^^ 

your sins are forgiven, and that you are a child of 
God. You cannot find any reason in yourself, and 
surely you cannot in God. You may have been pre- 
vented by something which you saw in your own 
heart, which you imagined was a sufficient reason why 
you should not feel sure of God's forgiveness; but if 
God were to say that nothing that you can find in 
your heart is an insurmountable obstacle to your being 
forgiven and accepted as His child now, at this very 
time, would you not believe it ? And this is just what 
God has said. He says He will forgive you out of 
pure mercy, because Christ gave Himself a ransom 
for your sins, and not because of any worthiness, or 
even partial worthiness, in you ; for He tells you Him- 
self that you are utterly unworthy ; but exactly as 
you are. He can and does forgive you all your sins 
freely for Christ's sake, if you will only believe Him 
when He tells you so. But if, when you ask to be 
forgiven, you doubt and say to yourself, ^ I cannot 
dare to believe that all my sins will be forgiven now, 
because my heart is not right, it is so cold, or, per- 
haps, indifferent,' are you not saying in efi'ect that 
when God does forgive you, you expect Him to do 
it because your heart is right at the time you ask Him? 
If so, you are expecting Him to forgive you for your 
own sake, and not for Christ's; or, at best, partly for 
your own sake, and partly for Christ's sake. 

" No wonder you feel no confidence in this hope, 
for God only promises to do it for Christ's sake alone, 
and it is by resting your hopes entirely on His 
promises, and nothing else, that you can really feel 
confidence and true peace. Are you not just keep- 
ing yourself from the joy of knowing yourself for- 



84 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 20. 

given by an idea which has no foundation in the truth 
of the case ? 

'* Oh, throw it aside; give up the idea of making 
yourself better before you come trustingly to Jesus, 
and do not dishonor His free mercy any longer by 
doubting its reality, but listen now to the glad 
tidings. 

** * Jesus Christ- died to save sinners.' And are you 
not a sinner ? And did He not die for you ? And if 
He died for you, are you not by virtue of His death 
reconciled and forgiven? Oh, all you need is to 
believe it. 

'* ' He that believeth hath eternal life.' Christ is 
a perfect Saviour ; His atonement is not only sufficient 
for the forgiveness of your past sins, but for the 
present sinful condition of your heart. Trust in it, 
take it to God as your plea for acceptance, and take 
it as your reason for believing that He has heard your 
prayer. Just rest all your hope on Christ. Ask and 
trust Him to do everything for you, to help you to 
trust in Him, to strengthen your faith in Him, and to 
make you what He would have you to be. 

*' You cannot think that He will refuse to hear you. 
Has He not said, '■ Him that cometh unto me, I will 
in nowise cast outj' and He cannot be untrue to His 
word." 

" MiLLVILLE, April 3, i860. 

' '■ My Dear Father : 

"Thy * voluntary and entirely spontaneous letter,' 
written at mother's 'earnest solicitations,' was duly 
received this afternoon, and was read with much 
relish. * * * We drove out to see the old Loder- 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 85 

man this morning ; he is still alive, though very weak 
indeed. He was delighted with thy old dressing- 
gown which we took him, and said it would keep him 
so warm ; he is always chilly, even with a hot fire. It 
really seemed to be the very thing needed. He ap- 
peared glad to hear us sing some hymns. I thought 
even my dear father would have been convinced that 
it is only the abuse and not the use of singing hymns 
that is wrong. It seemed to soothe his feelings so 
when we sang Cowper's beautiful one, commencing 

' There is a fountain filled with blood,' &c. 

*'He said it did him so much good to hear those 
words ; they were all true, every word of them, and 
he thought of them when we were gone, and they 
seemed to go to just the right place in his heart. 
He has a great deal of simplicity, of course, in his 
way of expressing himself; but I think he has a firm 
trust in the Saviour. He said he could not last long ; 
perhaps before we came again he would be gone. I 
asked him how he felt when he thought of dying. 
He replied that he was not afraid to die, for Jesus was 
his friend. He does love to hear all about Christ's 
having died to save sinners, and likes to dwell on His 
wondrous love and kindness to him. It really is a 
great pleasure to go and see him." 

It gave Alice's parents much pleasure to gather all 
their children and grandchildren about them in the 
summer season for a long visit. As this was the only 
time during the year the sister from St. John was able 
to come on, it was looked upon by all as a season of 
great enjoyment. It was on one of these visits home, 
8 



S6 ON THE ROCK: ^et. 20. 

the first after Alice had become a child of God, that 
she was made the means of blessing to this sister. 
Although Annie had been a Christian for years, she 
had not Alice's simple faith, and consequently not 
her rejoicing confidence, and she could not be long 
in the company of this young disciple without feeling 
that though only a babe in Christ, Alice had an 
assured confidence in Him, to which she was a 
stranger. 

As the trio of sisters together read and studied the 
Scriptures, many passages came out in a new light. 
Alice often had some forcible illustration or quotation 
from a favorite author which made the subject more 
plain. She frequently quoted the words: " For one 
look at self take ten looks at Christ," and her sister 
felt that it was just here that she needed to take a step 
forward. If she would be happy and vigorous in her 
Christian life she must, like Alice, look past her own 
sins and shortcomings, to Christ's atonement for sin, 
and His power to save to the uttermost ; and it was 
not long before Alice's heart was made glad in seeing 
this sister, who had formerly so faithfully endeavored 
to lead her youthful steps into the narrow way, 
brought to rejoice in like full assurance of faith with 
herself. 

Alice's quiet influence was ever after felt by Annie 
to be a means of strength and establishment. The 
latter thus refers to it : '' Dear Alice grew very rapidly 
in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus 
Christ, for in after years she became my teacher in 
many things." 

After her conversion Alice felt that these family 
reunions were seasons of deep responsibility, as well 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 87 

as times of great enjoyment. Not only should they 
be able to see in each other growth and advancement 
since their last meeting, but the very meetings them- 
selves should be as stepping-stones onward in their 
Christian life. Alice often made it a special subject 
of prayer for weeks before these visits that herself and 
sisters might be strengthened to put aside other things 
in order to devote a quiet hour every day to the read- 
ing of the Scriptures and unitedly seeking the throne 
of grace. She particularly enjoyed united prayer, 
saying that there was an especial blessing promised to 
it. She delighted to plead. Matt, xviii. 19, *^ If two 
of you shall agree on earth as touching anything," 
&c. , and often dwelt upon it with a peculiar faith. 

The following letter refers to this annual meeting 
under the parental roof: — 

" TswEDELLE, May 6, i860. 
''My Darling Carrie : 

*' I can scarcely write, I want to see thee so much. 
We look forward with a great deal of pleasure to see- 
ing thee next week, if the Lord sees best to allow us 
the privilege of being all once more together. 

'' Oh, is it not a perfect rest to know that He always 
does everything just right, and will never deny us 
any privilege or happiness, unless He knows in His 
infinite love and wisdom that it is not best for us. 
Don't thee remember how afraid of the future I used 
to be? It is such a comfort never to have to worry 
about it any more. * * * 

'' I suppose thou wants to hear all about us, but 
there does not seem much to tell ; the time goes by so 
fast without bringing much to pass, that it sometimes 



88 ON THE ROCK: mi. 20. 

quite distresses me ; but I am sure we only want to 
please the Lord, so if we try each moment, we need 
not worry ourselves about the whole." 

" TSWEDELLE, May 28, i860. 

" My own Carrie : 

^'A whole week to-day since I wrote thee last! 
Too bad, I know, but I am sure if thou had been 
here thou would not have wondered at it, for although 
it was rainy nearly all last week, still there seemed 
no time to spare, and we did nothing, after all, but go 
three times to see a sick man. He is not a Christian, 
but likes to hear us talk, though I fear he is not aware 
either that he is dying or that he is a sinner. Did I 

tell thee about our going to M 's last First day 

afternoon ? We walked there, and, to our surprise, 
they, that is the old people, seemed glad to see us. 

Mrs. M said she had been wishing I would come 

again and talk to her, ever since I was there last 

winter, and Mr. M seemed very cordial, and 

wanted us to come again ; so last First day we went. 
His sister was there. He said he brought her over on 
purpose, as she said she would like to hear us talk. I 
feel it to be a great responsibility, as well as a great 
privilege ; but I cannot doubt but that the Lord is thus 
opening my way Himself, so I leave all anxiety about 
it with Him, as I am sure He never calls us to do 
anything in His service without giving us the strength 
and wisdom needed." 

The following letter is addressed to the invalid 
whom she mentioned having visited in New York 
during her stay there in the second month: — 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 89 

"TsWEDELLE, May 29, i860, 
''My Dear Bella Cooke, 

'' It has been so long since I promised to write to 
you that I fear you think I have forgotten you, and 
the talks that we had upon the subject of holiness 
when I had the privilege of visiting you last Febru- 
ary. But it is far otherwise, for I often thank the 
Lord for taking me to your bedside, there to learn 
more of the simplicity of the way of faith. You 
helped me very much, although you did not, I con- 
fess, clear away all my difficulties. 

* * * ''How often I think of what you said, that 
it is just trusting the Lord moment by moment, and 
not for the future, as I was trying to do. I was trying 
to grasp holiness for 'a whole year ahead,' and trying 
to feel sure that I should not sin all that time, instead 
of just leaving the past and future, and clinging to 
Jesus to save me from sin at the present moment, 
ti'usting Him also to help me to trust Him the next 
minute when it comes. Oh, what a rest it is to be 
thus trusting the Lord ! and yet I sometimes think I 
am the most unfaithful child my Saviour ever had 
who has entered into the way of holiness and entire 
dedication, for I so often forget to trust Him, and, 
of course, fall into sin. But praise be unto His holy 
name. He always brings me back to wash again in 
His own precious blood ! Is it not wonderful how 
good He is ? It astonishes me every day to see that 
He can love and bless so abundantly such a poor 
worthless creature as I am. 

"I should have written you before on this subject, 
but my time has been, from several circumstances, 
very much occupied, and all that I could spare for 

8* 



90 ON THE ROCK: /et. 21. 

letter-writing has been pretty much taken up by letters 
to a number of my friends who have not yet known 
Christ as their Saviour, some of whom seemed really 
to be inquiring what they should do to be saved, and 
to whom I felt it to be my first duty and privilege to 
tell the glorious 'glad tidings' that Jesus Christ died 
to save sinners." 

The following letter was to one of those inquiring 
friends above referred to, and to whom she had pre- 
viously addressed several letters showing forth the 
gospel of the grace of God, only one of which we 
have before found room to insert, under date of April 
19, of this year: — 

"TsWEDELLE, June 27, i860. 
*'My Dear Friend, 

"I mentioned to A. your trouble about the text in 
James, and she gladly wrote out for you a few thoughts 
upon it, which I inclose. They are very nearly what 
I tried to express to you the other day, and are to me 
satisfactory. 

* ' The more I think of it, and view the chapter as a 
whole, the more clearly I seem to see that this is 
James' true meaning — 

*' 'Ye see how that by works a man is justified, 
and not by faith only.' (James ii. 24.) 

'' 'Was not Abraham our father justified by works 
when he offered up Isaac his son upon the altar?' 
(James ii. 21.) 

" ' Therefore being justified by faith we have peace 
with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.' (Romans 

V.I.) 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 9 1 

'^ ' For if Abraham were justified by works, he hath 
whereof to glory, but not before God. For what 
saith the Scriptures? Abraham believed God, and it 
was accounted unto him for righteousness.' (Romans 
iv. 2.) 

* 'These passages being all true, must perfectly agree. 
Now, we have abundant proof from every part of 
Scripture that we are saved, reconciled, and made 
the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus alone, 
and that all works are but the natural consequence of 
faith, as breathing is the natural effect of being alive. 

*'Now, James seems to contradict and disagree 
with Paul, still both are true. It is evident that Paul 
speaks of the sovereign act of God in justifying or 
pardoning the sinner, while James speaks of the man's 
faith being justified in the eyes of all who behold. 
The man is justified as a Christian, or his faith is jus- 
tified ; as when a man is tried before a court of justice 
for murder : if positive proof is found that he was in 
another place at the time the deed was committed, 
that proof justifies the man as innocent, but that proof 
does not make him innocent. 

*' James speaks to those who have a dead faith, 
who say, *I believe,' *I have faith,' and still prove 
by their works, and thoughts, and desires, that they 
have no faith. Therefore we must justify our faith 
by our works. 

* ' Paul means to say — a man is saved by believing 
in our Lord Jesus Christ. 

"James means — a man shows that he believes by 
his works. 

** Both are perfectly true. As an illustration, James 
says : ' Was not Abraham our father justified by works 



92 ON THE ROCK: ^.t. 21. 

when he offered up Isaac, his son, upon the altar?' 
He could not mean here the sovereign act of God in 
making Abraham his child and saving him, for that 
was done many years before, when God called him 
to leave his own country, and promised He would 
make of him a great nation. (Gen. xii. 2, 3.) 

''When God promised him a son 'Abraham be- 
lieved God, and it was counted unto him for righte- 
ousness. ' He was at that time a saved and justified 
man, in Paul's sense of the word. A great many 
years passed before that promise was fulfilled and 
Isaac was born, and the child was at least twelve 
years old before Abraham's faith was proved or 
justified by offering him upon the altar. 

"In James ii. 14, we see an instance of a mere pro- 
fession of faith: 'What doth it profit, my brethren, 
though a man say he have faith and have not works? 
Can faith save him?' or can such a faith save him? 
It is not the active living faith Paul speaks of as justi- 
fying a man. 26th verse: ' For as the body without 
the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. ' 
If we see the body of a man lying cold, and motion- 
less, and stiff, we say that man is dead. But if we 
see a man moving, and walking, and talking, we say 
he is alive ; but we do not say that walking or talking 
makes him alive : they only prove that he is alive. 

"In the ist chapter, 27th verse, James says: 'Pure 
religion and undefiled before God and the Father is 
this, to visit the fatherless and widow in their affliction, 
and to keep himself unspotted from the world.' He 
here speaks of what the Christian life should be, and 
not what we must do to be saved. He does not say 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 93 

we must do this to become a Christian, but this is the 
effect of being a Christian." 

TO A FRIEND WHO HAD LOST A BROTHER. 

"MiLLVILLE, July 19, i860. 

''My DearL.: 

' ' I have been sitting several minutes with my pen 
in hand, at a loss to know how to express, even in the 
faintest degree, the heart full of love and tenderness 
that has been reaching out toward you in yearning 
sympathy ever since I heard of your great bereave- 
ment. Dear L., I cannot express it; it only sounds 
cold when I say that I give you my sincere sympathy ; 
but I am sure if I could put my arms round your neck 
and draw you close to me I could make you feel that 
I do sympathize with you. I know I cannot realize 
half the natural grief that must fill your heart at thus 
parting with one so near and dear to you, whose heart 
has beat closely to yours for so many years, not only 
in the warm love of a brother, but in the closer bonds 
of Christian fellowship ; this must make you miss him 
even more, and yet I know that it is in just this that 
you find your consolation ; this tie is not severed : 
closer even it is drawn, for it has drawn you closer 
still to Jesus. In Him, emphatically, now he has his 
being. The bosom of Jesus is his only and perfect rest- 
ing place. And is it not the same with you? Yes, 
indeed, I rejoice in the knowledge that you do not 
sorrow as one without comfort ; the thought of the 
sure and eternal inheritance awaiting your brother in 
Christ Jesus must give you great comfort. And then 
for yourself to know that all things are portioned out 
for you by the loving hand of your tender Shepherd 



94 ON THE ROCK: tET. 21. 

gives sweetness to your severest sorrow, does it not? 
For Him you can bear it, for Him you can live, 
although all pleasure seems gone. To know that one 
all powerful and loving is watching and guiding your 
feeble, faltering, and weary steps through this vale of 
shadows, straight upward to that eternal dwelling- 
place in Himself, where all joy and all love are per- 
fected in one unbroken song of praise, must, indeed, 
be a comfort that no earthly sorrow or trouble can 
take from you. Is it not so? For however we may 
fail to realize or feel it, we know the fact remains the 
same — the glorious fact that we are numbered among 
Christ's own flock; and if the flock of a faithful earthly 
shepherd is his constant care, and its wants his con- 
tinual thought, surely the Good Shepherd will not 
let us want. ' ' 

" TSWEDELLE, July 3 1, 1860. 

* ' My Own Darling Sister Annie : 

* * * '^ I had a delightful and very satisfac- 
tory visit at Millville ; and yet it is very nice to get 
home again, mother is so sweet, and everything 
looks so homelike. 

^* Oh, Annie, the Lord is so good to me ! I do not 
know how to thank Him, or even begin to ; but I must 
not stop to speak of this now. 

* * * < < Qjj reaching home I found that on 

the next day they were expecting C. H , the 

young girl we talked to at S , to spend two 

weeks. Yesterday she duly arrived, and after tea we 

all went to ride. C and I went in the buggy, 

which gave us a good chance for a talk. She com- 
menced by thanking me for Malan's tracts, which I sent 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 95 

her. She said she had read and re-read, and liked them 
very much ; they seemed to make it so plain and simple 
(the way of salvation I suppose she meant), that while 
she read the * True Cross' it seemed as if the old man 
was in just the position she had been in all her life. I 
asked if now she felt that all her sins were blotted 
out, and that she was reconciled to God. She said 
she scarcely dared to say yes, for it seemed like pre- 
sumption, and yet she did hope she believed, and so 
was the child of God. Thou can imagine what I 
said. Do pray for her, and for me, that I may not 
be unfaithful, but be made to do His will, for it 
really seems as though the Lord sent her here to hear 
more of His gospel. 

* * * (<]yX J is also here, I need strength 

indeed to strengthen her, and I feel that I am alto- 
gether weak ; but I can say, with David : ^ The Lord 
is my light and salvation, whom shall I fear ? The 
Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be 
afraid ?' 

* * * ''\ told M and C about the nice 

times we used to have reading our chapter every day, 
and proposed that we three should every morning go 

up into M 's room for the purpose, which they 

both agreed to gladly ; accordingly this morning we 
commenced. I thought the gospel of John would 

perhaps be the best to establish C in the truth, so 

we began with the first chapter. I felt that it would be 
pleasing to the Lord that I should ask His presence 
in a few words ; but somehow the ' old man' did not 
want to ; but the new life conquered, and I believe the 
Lord was with us, for we had a very satisfactory time. 
M. M. J really is very clear, and brought out the 



96 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 21. 

gospel as I did not believe she could ; but the chapter 
is a very striking one. 

* * * << Everything is in the Lord's hands, 
who knows the end from the beginning ; let us rest 
in that. 

* * While I was at Millville we had such a sweet time 
reading the Bible, and really studied it to find out 
our duty about baptism. We did not come to any 
definite conclusion, but have made up our minds not 
to stop studying God's word until we know what is 
truth. I must go, darling. May our Father indeed 
bless thee. Thy Own Alice. ' ' 

The young lady C. H., here spoken of, died soon 
after she returned to her home, which was many hun- 
dred miles from Philadelphia, and though dear Alice 
never heard anything more from her, excepting the 
fact of her death, we cannot doubt that the all- 
powerful spirit of God carried on the work which He 
began in her heart, until faith was changed to sight. 

" TSWEDELLE, Aug II, 1860. 

" My own Carrie : 

* * * *'Thou speaks of my needing to go 
away from home, but indeed it is not so. 

*' I went over to Germantown day before yesterday, 
and down to the city, and home again yesterday, and 
my head only ached worse while I was away, and I 
was so glad to get home. I think it really is the 
best place for me. 

^ ' I had a very nice visit at A. F ' s, in spite of head - 

ache. She is real sweet. We went to see A. S after 

tea, and had a delightful talk. She gave me some of 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 97 

the most precious thoughts. She is living in the re- 
alization of Christ as the Bridegroom, and did express 
so sweetly just what I have only half thought. She 
is a real living and truly spiritual Christian. 

* * * '*Do not let us allow one day to pass 
without making baptism the subject of prayer and 
meditation. The old temptation besets me to leave 
the subject alone, but with God's help I will not give 
way to it. 

*^May He be with thee, my darling, and with me, 

''Thy Loving Sister." 

The following letter is addressed to the same friend 
to whom she wrote under date of June 27th of this 
year : — 

"TSWEDELLE, Aug. 1 6, 1860. 

'* Dear Friend : 

*' Yet once again I take up my pen to write to you, 
for my heart has been filled with prayer for you, now 
that your soul is resting in Jesus, in the full assurance 
of forgiveness and acceptance as His child, that you 
may indeed be filled with burning desires to glorify 
that precious Saviour j that you may know in reality 
what it is to 'hunger and thirst after righteousness j' 
that for yourself you may long above all things to 
be pure and holy, for such is His will that you should 
be j yes, for this He called and washed us in His 
precious blood. In the 2d chapter of the Epistle of 
Paul to Titus, after having commanded us to live 
soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world, 
looking for the glorious appearing of the great God 
and our Saviour Jesus Christ, he adds, ' Who gave 
9 



98 ON THE ROCK: tET. 21. 

Himself for us, that He might redeem us from all ini- 
quity, and purify unto Himself a peculiar people 
zealous of good works.' The very first impression 
one gets from the Bible, I think, is, that God would 
have men to be holy ; and what is so soul-inspiring 
as to contemplate His way of making them so ? If we 
had been set to work to devise a plan for this, we 
should have said to man, * Set thyself busily to work 
to cleanse thine own heart; do nothing that is evil, but 
all that is good, and I will give thee an entrance 
into heaven as thy reward.' But God knew us better 
than we knew ourselves, and He knew that we could 
not do this ; but to convince man that he could not, 
He gave the law, that by doing those things we should 
live by them. And then when man comes to confess 
himself really a sinner, utterly unable and helpless to 
fulfil the law, or bring himself back to holiness, or 
to reconcile himself to God, then God shows him 
His plan. 

^' Thus it is said, ' The law was our schoolmaster to 
bring us to Christ.' And just think what Christ's plan 
for bringing man back to holiness is ! He takes the 
sinner, all unworthy and sinful as he is ; he bears Him- 
self the full penalty of his sins ; He picks him from the 
depths of his degradation ; He gives him full reconcili- 
ation and union with the Father ; He places him in the 
position of a dear and beloved child of God ; and 
then He says to him, * I have done all this for thee 
out of mine own mercy, I have bought thee from 
eternal death with the price of my own blood, and 
given to thee the gift of eternal life ; and now wilt 
thou not love me, wilt thou not follow in the paths of 
righteousness where I shall lead thee ?' 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 99 

*^Who could hear that voice without replying, 
* Yea, Lord, with my whole heart will I love Thee ; 
in thy strength with my whole heart will I serve Thee ! ' 
Oh, my friend, if Christ has done all this for us, that 
we might walk in purity and holiness with Him, in 
the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, shall 
we not gladly give all our energies and our whole 
souls to following Him, and to fulfilling His design 
concerning us ! 

** It is through us that He would be glorified ! Let 
us try to realize what a position we are thus called 
to fill. We, who were once ^ dead in trespasses and 
sins,' are called now to be to the praise of the glory 
of God! We may so live as to honor Him, as to 
glorify His name in the sight of men and of angels. 
Oh, is not this a high and holy calling ? And yet 
how sad it is to think how many Christians seem not 
to realize it; that not only does the world reject and 
despise the Saviour, but His own redeemed ones bring 
dishonor on His name ! But let ms seek to honor Him, 
let us offer up our '■ bodies a living sacrifice, holy, ac- 
ceptable unto God, which is indeed our reasonable 
service.' 

''Let us come to our Jesus, and telling Him all our 
weakness and our ignorance, let us cast the care of 
making us fit for His service upon Him. He will per- 
fect that which concerns us, because He has promised 
to do it, and we may safely trust Him to supply every 
needed grace. If we can trust Him with the salva- 
tion of our souls, we can surely trust Him to make us 
ready to do his own work. We have some sweet 
texts for this : ' He that spared not his own Son, but 
delivered Him up for us all, how shall he not with 



lOO ON THE ROCK: ^.T. 21. 

Him also freely give us all things.' But unto every 
one of us is given grace according to the measure of 
the gift of Christ. Think what a measure that is ! 
* And God is able to make all grace abound toward 
you, that ye having all sufficiency in all things, may 
abound in every good work ; being enriched in every- 
thing to all bountifulness, which causeth through us 
thanksgiving to God.' (2d Cor. ix. 8-1 1.) 

''I cannot dwell longer now on this subject, 
though I have not said half I long to ; but I can only 
write a very short time without getting a headache. 
Let me close with Paul's prayer for the Thessalo- 
nians, ' And the very God of peace sanctify you 
wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul 
and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of 
our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He that calleth 
you, who also will do it.' * * * 

'*We have His own promise to be unto us wis- 
dom and righteousness, sanctification and redemp- 
tion ! He alone can give us victory over our beset- 
ting sins, and draw all our affections into obedience 
unto Himself. But thanks be unto God, He can do it. 
Then shall we not, like little children, just throw our- 
selves on Christ as our only helper, and trust Him to 
do it? 

''I do not mean simply for the whole future col- 
lectively, but let us trust Him to help us to please 
Him this moment, and each moment as it comes." 




CHAPTER VI. 




N the following letter dear Alice alludes to 

the trial it would be to become a confirmed 

!j invalid. It will be seen in the latter part 



of this memoir how even such a life became a happy- 
one to her through the sustaining presence of Jesus. 

"TSWEDELLE, Sept. 29, 1860. 

* * * '' Darling H., how often I long to see 
thee, and have one of our good talks. I am really 
decidedly better, having regained much of my 
strength and energy. In fact I feel as though I am 
getting well, and if it is the Lord's will I should be 
very glad. I think if it was His will, I could die; but 
to live on month after month, and year after year, 
half dead and alive would be a trial of faith. 

^' I like the life of A. Newton so much; it gives one 
a great deal to think about. She says she longs to 
be a reflection of Christ in the world, and I think that 
just expresses the position of the Christian. Our light 
cannot shine if we allow any earthly object to come 
between us and the glorious Sun of Righteousness, 
from whom we must derive light if we would that 
men beholding us should glorify the Father, 



102 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 21. 

*' What a happy thing it would be to feel our re- 
flection growing brighter and brighter, as we live 
nearer and nearer to Him. Surely the knowledge of 
such a growth in righteousness would not, and could 
not, be accompanied by any feeling of pride or self- 
superiority, which might be the case if it were our 
own work. 

*■ * With regard to , it is such a struggle to keep 

my faith ; but thou art right : * all things shall work 
together for good,' though it is true not as I would 
have it, but, after all, at the bottom I would not wish 
it to be otherwise than as He wills. His love is so 
tender and His wisdom so infinite; He knows better 
what I would have than I do myself. 

" Oh, my Jesus, what would I do without Thee ! And 
yet how the human heart rebels against His will ! 
Won't it be splendid when we get rid of this vile body 
of sin, and have our wills really and wholly swallowed 
up in His ? * * * 

'* Thy loving little sister cousin, 

''Alice." 

"TSWEDELLE, Oct. I, 1860. 

'' My Dear Friend : 

" I have thought very often of you, and feel very 
thankful that you have, as I hope, been brought, by 
God's mercy, from a state of indifference to your 
soul's salvation to ask earnestly for yourself the 
question ■ What shall I do to be saved ?' For if so, 
then it is to you that the good tidings are sent of a 
Saviour who will ' save to the uttermost all those who 
come unto God by Him.' Yes, the Bible has a mes- 
sage as directly for you as if there had never been a 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 103 

penitent sinner in the world but yourself; and that 
message is of the wonderful love and mercy of God 
in Christ Jesus to sinners. It tells you that though 
you have lived all your life in carelessness and sin, 
and though now you are utterly unable to make 
yourself any better, and are indeed entirely sinful, 
weak, and unworthy, that you may now, even now, 
this night, be a forgiven sinner, a reconciled child of 
God in Christ Jesus. Did you ever read in the Old 
Testament how God appointed that if an Israelite 
should bring a perfectly pure and spotless lamb, and 
the priest should lay it upon the altar, and should lay 
his hand on the head of the lamb, and confess the 
man's sins, at that moment they would be forgiven, 
as they were counted to be transferred to the lamb, 
which should be burned, suffering instead of the man? 
Now this was given us as a type or illustration of how 
Christ, who is the * Lamb of God which taketh away 
the sin of the world,' should bear the just punish- 
ment of our sins, and how the moment we, by faith, 
lay them on Jesus, we are forgiven, counted free 
from the penalty of our sins, because Christ has 
already borne that penalty in our stead ; and how 
from that moment we are God's reconciled children, 
not because of anything in ourselves, but because 
Christ died for us, and has bought us with His own 
precious blood. 

'^ Yes, this is the way you can be reconciled to God 
this very night. Accept Christ now, no matter what 
you have done hitherto ; accept Him now, as the perfect 
sacrifice for all your sins. Just cast all the weary 
load of your past sins and present sinfulness on Jesus, 
confessing that you are not able to save yourself from 



I04 ON THE ROCK: /et. 21. 

them, but that you believe that He is the Christ the 
Son of God, and that He is able to save you from 
them, and forgive you ; and ask Him to accept you 
as his child. And believe me — for it is not I, but 
God, who says it — at that very moment your sins shall 
all be forgiven, and you accepted as His child. 

* * * '* How can we ever be thankful enough 
that He has said, 'The gift of God is eternal life." 
Oh, then, if it is the free gift of God, will you not come 
now, like a poor, weak, ignorant child, to this all-wise, 
and all-merciful, and all-loving Saviour, and receive 
it as such, and go on your way rejoicing, not in your- 
self, or your own goodness, but in Christ, and in the 
knowledge that your sins are all washed away in His 
precious blood ; and that He is your good Shepherd, 
who will lead you into the paths of righteousness, for 
His name's sake?" 

"Brooklyn, loth mo. 8, i860. 
*' My Darling Carrie : 

"It is too bad thou should not have heard from us 
before ; but now that I have seated myself to write, I 
scarcely know how to begin, I have so much to say. 

''Last week we went up the Hudson, with uncle 

R , and saw some lovely residences. I have no 

words to express how much more beautiful they were 
than anything I have ever seen; such views of the 
river, such mountains so near, rising in some places 
directly behind the house five or six hundred feet, 
with mountain after mountain more and more dis- 
tant, until they were lost in mist. We started on 4th 
day, and went up to New Hamburg in the eleven 
o'clock train, and there took an open wagon, and 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 105 

drove about a mile and a half from the station, away 
upon the hills five or six hundred feet above the river, 
where we spent about two hours at Mr. F.'s place. 
* * * After we had looked round sufficiently, we 
drove eight miles down the river (a splendid ride) 
on its banks to Fishkill, where we stayed all night. 

** The next morning we took a large open carriage, 
and started off to look at about a dozen places in the 
neighborhood, which were 'for sale or to let,' and 
it was with some of these that I was so delighted. 
They were near the Highlands, with the ' Storm 
King' and the ' Sugar Loaf in full view ; but I can- 
not begin to describe them. * * ;k 

'^ I want to tell thee about a conversation I had with 

yesterday afternoon. * * * He read some papers 

of his father's (who deceased when he was an infant), 
which he found in an old bookcase this summer. 
There was a paper written not long before his death, 
on Rom. iv. 4, 5, and it contained just the simple 
gospel, as clear as it could possibly be, and without 
any untruth mixed with it. He described a person 
trying to be saved by works, and then showed that 
he never could be saved by them, but simply by 
Christ's atonement, as a propitiatory sacrifice. It 
was perfectly lovely, and I almost cried at hearing it. 

turned to me, and said, ' That is the doctrine 

you preach ?' I said, ' yes. ' And after talking awhile 
he told me that those papers had been a great reas- 
surance to him, for he thought, more than a year ago, 
when we first drew his attention to the subject, that 
this doctrine (of justification by faith) was something 
new; but to find that his father so many years ago 
had come to the same truth, had affected him very 



lo6 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 21. 

much. He also said that the truths of tlie gospel 
seemed much clearer to him than they did at first; 
that the new birth now seemed a very different thing 
from what it did ; in fact that he had confidence that 
he himself had experienced it, and was a new crea- 
ture in Christ Jesus. Was it not lovely ? 

* * * " Oh, Carrie, let us pray that the Lord will 
so fill us with that longing for the salvation of others, 
that we cannot sit still, but that from the fulness of our 
hearts our mouths may speak of His mercy. Surely 
the Lord will not refuse it to us, if we ask Him. Let 
us unite twice every day in prayer for it, for ourselves, 
and for each other. 

'' This is not all I have to say, but it is late, and I 
promised to go over and spend the night with C." 

"TSWEDELLE, Oct. I4, 1860. 

**Dear Carrie : 

* * * ^^My text for to day is, 'My grace is 
sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in 
weakness. ' It is a lovely text, but I cannot tell thee 
half as fully as thou can think for thyself all that I 
have been thinking about it, and what a comfort it is 
to me. Surely we may rejoice, with Paul, ' in our 
infirmities,' even in that despicable weakness which 
so often makes us feel so thoroughly disgusted with 
ourselves. The text must mean rd-^a;/ weakness. What 
a blessing that it does ! 

'' Oct. 1 6th. — My text for to day is, ' Jesus Christ, 
who gave Himself for our sins, that He might deliver 
us from this present evil world, according to the will 
of God and our Father, to whom be glory forever and 
ever!' How full it is, and what a comfort it has 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 107 

been to me to-day to think that if He died to deliver 
us from this evil world, surely He will deliver us daily 
and hourly from the power of the world, under which 
head I think we may number all the enemies of our 
souls. I think I have been learning a little more of 
my own utter helplessness. One would say, I might 
have learned that lesson long ago ; but I am just be- 
ginning to find out how very little, in comparison to 
the real state of the case, I ever realized it. I can say, 
with a great deal deeper meaning than ever before, 

* I am a poor sinner, and nothing at all, 
But Jesus Christ is my all and in all.' " 

These two lines seem to have been the key-note to 
all Alice's religious experience from first to last. As 
she apprehended more and more the fulness there is 
in Jesus, she took firmer and deeper hold upon the 
thought expressed in these lines. Her deep and con- 
tinual realization of the truth contained in them is 
evidenced by their frequent quotation in her letters. 

Besides the text which came in course in her daily 
reading, she often appropriated a certain promise 
to herself, such as, ' Open thy mouth wide and I will 
fill it, ' writing it down on paper, and, on the strength 
of that promise, putting down a number of petitions, 
recording the day and the year. These were found 
in her desk, with the word ' answered' written upon 
the margin of some of them, evidently at a later 
date. 

"TSWEDELLE, Oct. I9, 1860, 

"My DearB. C. : 

* * * *'My thoughts often wander back to 
your cosy little room in New York, and this after- 



io8 ON THE ROCK: ' /f.t. 21. 

noon, when I brought mother in a beautiful bunch of 
sweet flowers, she exclaimed, ' Oh, how I wish B. C. 
could have some of these to set by her bedside, they 
are so sweet' — a wish which was heartily seconded by 
me, for I had just been thinking the same thing. But 
you have what is better than the fragrance of flowers 
• — the presence of the Lord. Oh, what a precious 
thought it is ! You seem to grasp it by faith as such 
an actual reality, which is just the point where the 
faith of most of us fails. All Christians believe the- 
oretically that God is always with his children, but 
do not seem to rest in it, and realize it, as you do. 

"I was so much obliged to you for giving me the 
text you did when we parted, for it was just what I 
needed. It has been dwelling in my mind ever since, 
and you can't think how often it has come with com- 
fort to my heart at the moment I most needed it. 
* My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee 
rest;' surely a rest this side the grave — a rest in Him, 
independent of all surrounding circumstances — a 
peaceful laying of one's head on Jesus' bosom while 
in the din and turmoil of this tumultuous world — a 
freedom from all care or anxious effort while en- 
gaged in active daily warfare with sin and Satan ! 
I would like to know whether you think we are pro- 
mised that we shall always have the joy of consciously 
resting thus on Jesus' bosom. I do not mean to ask 
if we are allowed always to please Him, but whether 
it don't sometimes please Him that we should not 
realize His love so fully, or that very great nearness 
to Him. Of course His love is always the same, and 
His presence with us the same ; but if we do not have 
that comforting realization of it, what must we think? 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 109 

Is it our unfaithfulness, or is it sometimes a part of 
His wondrous dealings with us, to make us cling to 
Him by naked faith for our daily food ? I ask you 
this because it seems to me you appear consciously 
to rest on His bosom all the day long. 

**If this is the privilege of the Christian, he will 
always in his religion be equally happy, never know- 
ing those mists above him, which A. S speaks 

of to hide his Beloved from his sight. Are these 
mists clouds of our own raising, which one who 

* walks with God' will never know? 

* ' But I must not write more now, for although my 
health is greatly better than it has been for months, 
I cannot write or read more than a short time without 
pain. ' ' 

*« TSWEDELLE, Oct. 29, 1860. 

*' My Dear Friend : 

** I take this first opportunity of sending you ' The 
Higher Christian Life' (Boardman), which I promised 
to lend you, feeling deeply anxious that you may read 
it in that prayerful, earnest, inquiring state of mind, 
which, I cannot but feel confident, will lead, by the 
mercy of God, to your learning how you may arrive 
at that ' closer walk with Jesus' for which He has 
made you long. I have read many books on the 
subject, but none that I like so well. I do not alto- 
gether like the term 'second conversion.' Had the 
author, in speaking of the same experience, called it 

* The entrance into the way of holiness, ' or a ' closer 
walk with Jesus,' I should have liked it better. But 
we will not quarrel with him about a name so long 
as we agree with him as to substance. 

10 



no ON THE ROCK: ^t. 21. 

'*I think he clearly proves, by the lives of Luther 
and others, that there is such a thing, call it by what 
name you please. I was struck with his illustrations 
of the many mistakes which the Christian is liable to 
fall into in seeking after the higher life, as being 
very instructive ; particularly the instances he gives 
of persons who had so much trouble because they 
failed to realize that faith is twofold — it takes all and 
it gives all, as in the case of the lady of distinction 
and the merchant. The one, who found that she 
had not intelligently dedicated or given up her whole 
life to Christ, and thus had been trying to take all 
and give nothing ; and the other, who was always 
renewing and dwelling on his own dedication to God, 
without taking Christ as his all-sufficiency. 

*' I cannot express how thankful I feel to the Lord 
for arousing you to seek for a closer and more abiding 
union with Himself; and still less can I express the 
deep and almost overwhelming sense I have of my 
utter ignorance and unworthiness to attempt to point 
you onward in the way ; but my constant prayer is, 
' May God teach thee.' And I am sure He will, and 
will never let you rest in a half-way dedication to His 
service or in a faith that grasps Jesus as only half a 
Saviour, and not as your all in all — your sanctification 
as well as your justification." 

"TSWEDELLE, Oct. 30, 1860. 

'* My Dear Sister Annie : 

* * * a My text for to-day is in the 3d chap- 
ter of Philippians, ' Our conversation is in heaven, 
from whence we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus 
Christ : who shall change our vile body, that it may 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 1 1 1 

be fashioned like unto His glorious body, according 
to the working whereby He is able even to subdue all 
things unto Himself.' It is very long to write out, 
but I could not help it, it is so lovely. To think that 
* He is able to subdue all things to Himself.' Surely 
even I need not despair of being sanctified, if He will 
do it, who is so able. * * * 

^'I shall keep up now regularly, if possible, the 
Sunday afternoon readings (at the cottages), which I 
think do not hurt me at all ; I do so appreciate the 
privilege of speaking a word for Jesus." 

"TSWEDELLE, Nov. I3, 1860. 

*' My Dear Carrie : 

* * * ti -yij verse for to-day is : ' Now the end 
of the commandment is charity, out of a pure heart, 
and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned. ' I 
wish I could express all the meaning this has to me. 
We cannot force ourselves to charity — this charity j 
it must spring from a pure heart, which is in tune and 
harmony with the heart of Jesus, and a happy con- 
science free from the weight of even a moment's sin, 
and a faith that not only professes to, but practically 
and momentarily does lay hold of Jesus as its perfect 
sufficiency, not only to cleanse entirely and wholly 
from the past, but to keep for the present and future 
from all evil. Let our hearts be thus tuned, and we 
shall be filled with charity. ' ' 

"TSWEDELLE, Nov. 1 9, 1860. 

'' My Dear Carrie : 

* * * ^''The times' do indeed 'look bois- 
terous. ' Father prophesies the most dreadful things ; 



112 ON THE ROCK: mi.2\, 

says the troubles of '57 will be back upon us tenfold ; 
but this is not all : disunion, the greatest of all evils, 
and a civil war are going to follow each other. * * 
*' I am reading * The Still Hour/ and am enjoying 
it exceedingly. It is just what I wanted, for I am on 
the subject of prayer, and my text, aside from those 
for the day, has been for some time Matth. xxi. 
22 : * And all things whatsoever ye shall ask in 
prayer, believing, ye shall receive.' Is it not 
glorious? I am sure I don't intend to bring such 
mean petitions after this, when He seems to expect 
us to ask so much. Surely the reason we don't get 
more is because we don't ask or expect more." 

" TSWEDELLE, Dec. 16, i860. 
** My Dear Friend: 

* * * **I do so long and hope to see you 
walking very close to Jesus j much, much closer than 
this poor servant of the Lord has set you the exam- 
ple of walking ; but, by the grace of God, from this 
day I will (knowing all the past forgiven) live 
nearer to Him. And let us both at the beginning of 
a new year, turning away from all beside, cleave 
more closely unto Jesus. 

'^ What else is there left for us to do ? Poor, weak, 
ignorant children as we are, yet journeying in the 
midst of ' a crooked and perverse generation,' with 
our great enemy ever watching us, to beguile us into 
sin and sorrow. Oh, what suffering and misery 
should we save ourselves were we ever to keep our 
hand in that of our loving and tender Guide, and 
yield ourselves implicitly to follow Him wherever 
He leads us ! For though we rejoice in the confi- 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WIIITALL. 113 

dence that, as He has already redeemed us unto 
Himself, He will not let us wander from Him into 
eternal death, yet we know that it is often through 
much agony and suffering that He brings back His 
wandering children. My experience is, that I never 
left Jesus for so much as half an hour without running 
myself into some sort of trouble or distress. And 
what a mercy that it is so ! For what would become 
of us if He allowed us to wander from Him without 
some sort of suffering to bring us back. * * * 

*'The thought of His unmerited love is over- 
whelming to me to-day, but I have no words befit- 
ting such a glorious subject." 

"TSWEDELLE, DeC. 28, 1860. 

*'My DearB. C. : 

*' Although many things seem to call my attention 
in other directions this afternoon, I cannot leave your 
last letter longer unanswered. I am now determined 
to push everything else aside for a quiet little talk 
with you on the subject nearest both our hearts, and 
upon which I am sure we neither of us can speak 
without being refreshed. I mean, of course, the 
goodness, the wondrous goodness, of the Lord to us 
in His dear Son. 

'' As for myself, I have indeed abundant cause to 
speak of His goodness and mercy, for though never 
in my life have I had more reason to be deeply 
humbled in myself, neither have I had more cause to 
make mention of His long-suffering and tenderness. 
In how many thousand ways has He not shown His 
presence with me, and His hand taking care of me, 
both spiritually and temporally ! 

10^ 



114 ON THE ROCK: mi.2\. 

*' Adelaide Newton has a little verse in one of her 
hymns which is such a comfort to me : — 

* All, all by thee is ordered, chosen, planned, 
Each drop that fills my daily cup ; Thy hand 
Prescribes for ills none else can understand; 
All, all is known to thee.' 

** How true it is that He prescribes for diseases 
we don't even know that we have ourselves, but which 
nevertheless would prove fatal if allowed to go on 
unchecked ; but thanks be unto Him, He is all wise, 
and all powerful, and all loving ; and although our 
friends around us do not understand our needs. He 
does understand us perfectly, but does not chide, but 
* remembereth that we are dust,' and * healeth all 
our diseases.' 

** How strange it is that I should have been so un- 
grateful as sometimes to murmur at the course of 
medicine He has given me the past few months ; but 
He has graciously made me very thankful this morn- 
ing that He is prescribing for me, and not leaving me 
to myself. And it really does me good, my dear 
friend, to be able to sit down and express a little of 
the gratitude that fills my heart to you. I know you 
understand me, while many would think such an 
expression of feeling ostentatious ; for it is altogether 
an unexpected thing for any one, unless under some 
great affliction, to tell what a comfort and joy Christ 
is to them. Is it not a pity that it is not the general 
custom for Christians to acknowledge the goodness 
of the Lord with their lips one to another ? Not only 
because it would, as I think, really tend to the increase 
of their own gratitude, but also because not doing so 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. II5 

robs God of what is His due, and practically gives 
the impression to those who have no experimental 
knowledge of the joys of religion that it is of very 
little profit to persons while in the enjoyment of 
worldly prosperity, although in the time of trial and 
sorrow it is a very desirable thing. They hear con- 
tinually Christians testify what a comfort and support 
Christ is to them in their affliction, and how impos- 
sible it would be for them to bear it without Him j 
but they hear comparatively little of what Christians 
with equal truth could testify if they would speak of 
what a wealth of happiness and joy Christ is to them 
while in outward prosperity. To be sure they hear 
theoretically that there is no true happiness out of 
Christ, but they do not imagine that their friends are 
really a great deal happier than they were before they 
became Christians. They would really be surprised 
if they told them that they found the smile of Jesus 
to add double pleasure to their earthly enjoyments, 
and to take away the load of petty cares and annoy- 
ances, to say nothing of the spiritual joys and plea- 
sures He so freely gives them ; in fact, that He adds 
as much to their joys as He takes from their pain, 
and that He is as necessary to them in their pros- 
perity as in their adversity." 

To A NEWLY-MARRIED FrIEND. 

" TsWEDELLE, January, 1861. 
* * * **I sympathize in thy happiness, dear 
friend, but I do so realize that this very enjoyment 
of earthly things is fraught with great danger, although, 
as thou may say, it is calculated to call forth grati- 
tude to the great Giver. Yet, darling, if we come to 



Il6 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 21. 

Him with thanksgiving only, forgetting that we are 
sinners, and need a sacrifice for sm, we come in a 
way in which God cannot receive us. 

''In the parable of the Pharisee and the Publican, 
it is very probable that the Pharisee came up to wor- 
ship God with sincere thanksgiving, but he made no 
mention of the sin which stained and polluted even 
that thanksgiving. But the Publican, who knew him- 
self a sinner, came crying, 'God, be merciful to me 
a sinner,' or, as the original reads, I think, ' Be thou 
propitiated toward me.' He came bringing a plea 
which God himself appointed, and we read that he 
went down accepted rather than the other. 

" I know there is a strong tendency, when we look 
only at that which is to us lovable and lovely in our 
fellow mortals and ourselves, to forget that in the eye 
of God we do not appear exactly in the same light, 
but are tainted throughout with sin, and need indeed 
to bring for ourselves the perfect atonement of Christ 
as our plea, and our only plea, for acceptance. It is 
such a different thing to give an assent in a general 
way to the atonement, and the efficacy of the blood 
of Christ to wash away sin, and to really appropriate 
it to ourselves; and know by faith that He bore the 
penalty of our sins, and that we are forgiven, and 
made the children of God by adoption in a very 
different way from that in which we are accustomed 
to consider all the human family as the offspring of 
God. 

"I may misunderstand thy position, but I have 
been wondering if thou art not striving diligently to 
cultivate all the noble and good in thy nature, and 
to resist all the evil ; and for all the rest art trusting 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL, I17 

in a general way to the mercy of God. Ah, dear 
friend, if this is thy position, thou wilt find in it no 
real, lasting satisfaction ; for, after all, the very good- 
ness thou art trying to cultivate, thou wilt find needs 
itself to be washed. I think this is just what the 
Bible means when it says that our righteousness is as 
* filthy rags,' entirely worthless in the sight of God, 
which we must give up, and accept the righteousness 
of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and 
upon all them that believe. 

** Do not misunderstand me j I fully approve of trees 
bringing forth fruit, but I know that they must have 
the sap in their branches first ; and just so, it is useless 
for us to try and stifle the bad and cultivate the good 
in our hearts until we are joined to the true vine, from 
whence we shall derive the only sap that can bring 
forth anything really good in us. We know that we 
are not naturally joined to that vine, but must be 
grafted in. This grafting in is spoken of in the Bible 
in different places, as ^ being born again, as being 
made the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.' 
So whether thou art trusting in a general way to the 
mercy of God, or art by faith appropriating the full 
atonement of Christ to thyself, and art trusting in 
Him as thy perfect Saviour, is a matter of the greatest 
importance, and the first thing to be considered ; for 
it alters thy whole position, and thou starts out on thy 
efforts after holiness from an entirely diiferent stand- 
point. Art thou very much shocked because I have 
said that in the one case thy efforts would be in vain ? 
If so, go to the Bible, for it is not I, but God who 
says it. And surely when in such wondrous mercy 
God has sent * His only begotten Son into the world, 



Il8 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 21. 

that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish 
but have everlasting life,' it is not strange that He 
should declare that whosoever will not believe cannot 
please Him in any other way." (John iii. 18-36.) 

"TswEDELLE, Jan. 21, 1861. 

*' My Dear little Sister Carrie : 

* * * << We went to meeting yesterday morn- 
ing, and in the afternoon I went down to the cottages. 
I commenced to read Christ's sermon on the mount 

at I 's, and I think, with the Lord's blessing, it 

may be very profitable to us all. I asked I to 

choose a verse out of it for us to take for particular 
thought during the week, as we are always in the 
habit of taking one from the chapter of the day, and 
he chose the 6th verse : ^ Blessed are they which 
do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they 
shall be filled.' I had also a favored time at M 's. 

** In the evening father, mother, and I commenced 
reading the life of Stephen Grellet. It is perfectly 
lovely, and shows as clearly as any one could wish, 
that it was the realization of the full and free atone- 
ment made by the Lord Jesus Christ for all his sins 
that first brought peace to his soul, and filled his 
heart with love to God and burning desires to glo- 
rify Him. 

*' I do wish you would read it, for it does make one 
feel how half-hearted our dedication is compared 
with his. His life was one of so much usefulness, en- 
tered upon so immediately after his conversion, and 
so steadily progressive, always reaching forward, 
never turning back to earthly interests. Oh, Carrie, 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 119 

it ought to stir us up to live unto God and not unto 
ourselves." * * * 

"TswEDELLE, March 16. 

** Dear Carrie: 

*'I have just returned from I 's where I en- 
joyed extremely the 8th chapter of Romans, and now, 
after having had a short time of prayer, come to talk 
a little with thee, my own dear sister. 

'* I was so glad to hear about your Sunday-school. 
I can heartily join my prayers to yours that it may 
be blessed, and shall be delighted to do anything I 
can to help. 

'* I send thee a list of reasons why Jesus is the 
best Physician, Shepherd, &c. &c., which is very in- 
teresting to children, and gives room for you to en- 
large on each one, and then every week you can 
make them remember the reasons, &c. of last week. 

'*I was at Germantown last week, and attended 
one of Mrs. Guinness' Bible classes. It was on the 
assurance of faith; and what shall I say about it? It 
was the most overpowering thing I ever listened to. 
I only wish it was written out. She treated it under 
three different heads. 

*' First. That the Bible never contemplates a Chris- 
tian who hasn't it, but always speaks to believers as 
to persons who have no doubt of their position before 
God. 

'* Secondly. That no Christian can please God 
without it. 

'' Thirdly. If so, how are we to get it? 

'*She proved all these most undoubtedly from 
Scripture, bringing passage after passage to substan- 



I20 ON THE ROCK: ^T. 21. 

tiate what she said. She also took up some which 
are commonly quoted to prove the contrary, showing 
what was their real meaning, and also how dishonor- 
ing to God doubts are, and, moreover, proved incon- 
trovertibly that they generally arise from pride. 

** Her final appeal to us all was very, very solemn. 
When she ceased speaking, a deep silence was spread 
over all for I suppose ten minutes." 

"TswEDELLE, March 19, 1861. 
***** Do pray, dear Annie, that my inter- 
course with N may be blessed. I feel so weak ; 

I do think the Lord never had so weak and imworthy 
a child, but, through the mercy and goodness of Him 
who died for sinners, I have a feeble hope of doing 
something to glorify His great name yet. Seeing 

Mr. and Mrs. G so good, has made me feel more 

than ever that I am not at all what I ought to be. 
But is it not a comfort that Christ is ours still ! No 
matter how weak or unfaithful we are. He is loving 
us just the same, for He does not change, and He 
has the same reasons for loving us that He had at the 
beginning. He did not begin to love us because He 
saw anything in us worthy of love. He first loves, 
and then forms in us something worthy of being 
loved. Is it not wonderful? But it leaves no room 
for glorifying in the flesh." * * * 

"TswEDELLE, April 6, 1861. 
*' Dear Carrie: 

* ' Thou hast I suppose heard the news of our nine 
pound nephew, Frank. The children are delighted 
with him, though Nannie at first was jealous, and would 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 1 21 

not look at him, turning away her head, but when he 
cried, she screamed out, 'It squeaked, it squeaked,' 
and seemed quite charmed with it. * * * 

'' I have had the headache almost all the past week, 
but at some rate have kept up, I don't know exactly 
how. 

* * * *'I am just now very much interested in 
a Bible class for ladies, which seems likely to arise 

from Mrs. B and myself meeting together to 

study the Bible. Several ladies have asked her to let 
them come, and, as she said it seemed a shame for us 
to have all these good things to ourselves, and seemed 
to desire that they should be admitted, I have con- 
sented. We meet this afternoon for the first time. 
I feel a little frightened ; but it is the Lord's doing, 

and He will take care of it. L and S also 

expect to join us." 

This Bible class was carried on during all the 
remaining years of Alice's life, and was felt by her 
to be a solemn and deeply interesting responsibility. 
It was always much laid upon her heart in prayer, and 
in the last letter written before she was attacked with 
the illness which terminated in her death, it is spoken 
of as a subject of earnest solicitude. That it was 
blessed to others will be seen by the following refer- 
ence made to it by one of its number, who had for 
many years been a church member : — 

''How hallowed and dear to me were those hours 
spent in studying the Scriptures at our little Bible 
class ! It was there that the glorious plan of redemp- 
tion was unfolded to me. It was Alice who told me 
II 



122 ON THE ROCK: /ET. 21. 

that no efforts of my own could save my soul, but 
that Jesus Christ died to save sinners, and that be- 
lieving, trusting in Him, I could not perish, but had 
everlasting life. Very precious is the memory of the 
hour when, listening to her words, the light of God 
shone in upon my clouded vision, and I beheld Jesus, 
my Saviour. Then, indeed, peace, the peace that 
passeth understanding, flowed in upon my troubled 
soul." 

To A Friend. 

'^ Like the Apostle, I write not unto you because 
you know not the truth, but because you know it, and 
I would, like him, 'stir up your pure mind (your 
new nature) by way of remembrance, that ye may be 
mindful of the words which were spoken.' All that 
I shall say you already know as well as I ; but Satan 
sometimes makes truth appear very shadowy, intangi- 
ble and impracticable, and a simple statement of it 
often helps to dispel the mists of earth which he uses 
to blind our eyes. 

'' In the first place, then, think of what you are — 
* a soldier of the Cross.' Christ bought you when a 
captive. When you were lying helpless, sin-defiled, 
dead in trespasses and sins, He took you in His arms ; 
He breathed upon you the breath of eternal life \ He 
opened your blind eyes to see and know Him; He 
washed you from your filth in His own precious 
blood ; He clothed you in His own robe ; and even 
more. He calls you son, brother; has made all His 
inheritance to be yours, and has lavished upon you 
infinite love. And then, putting into your possession 
*the whole armor of God,' Hhe sword of the Spirit,' 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 1 23 

and the shield of faith, wherewith he says, ' ye shall 
be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked,' 
He calls you to be His soldier, to go to war, but not 
at your own cost; to fight, but not in your own 
strength ; to obey His word as instantly and unflinch- 
ingly as soldiers must ; to brave the foe through pri- 
vation and danger; to press steadily on through 
darkness and trial. All this He does, not because He 
has need of anything, but for your sake, that He may 
give you a crown of joy when the work is done ; and, 
moreover, that you may have the opportunity of 
showing your allegiance to Him ; of proving your 
gratitude for all His wonderful mercy and long suf- 
fering toward you. And even more, He loves His 
children, and He loves to be loved by them. And 
as, when He came into the world to do His Father's 
will, He found it sweet to tell forth all the depths of 
His love for that Father, by the deep language of 
doing and suffering. His heart yearns that His 
chosen ones should thus show their love for Him. Is 
not this what He means when He says, 'As thou, 
Father, hast sent me into the world, even so have I 
sent them into the world ?' 

'^Now what is the position of such an one when 
tempted not to obey the command, or follow where 
his great Captain leads ? Can he prove himself to be 
so utterly devoid of all gratitude and love for the one 
who bought him ? No ; I know that no child of God 
would deliberately refuse to do what He commands ; 
but the trouble is. Christians are not always honest 
with their own knowledge of what He would have 
them to do. They prefer to look at all the difficul- 
ties of the way, and say, * it is impossible, ' instead 



124 ON THE ROCK: .^t. 21. 

of looking unto Jesus, and saying, ' I can do all 
things through Christ which strengtheneth me ;' 
* Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?' 

'^Another way of deceiving our own conscience is 
to gaze so intently at the darling ' right hand' which 
we are called to cast away, that our eyes are dimmed, 
and we half persuade ourselves that we do not really 
feel sure what we ought to do ; although no one 
doubts that if he will but look the truth in the face, 
with a single intent to do what he sees to be right, no 
matter how hard, he will know right from wrong. If 
we did but look unto Jesus with half the earnestness 
with which we gaze on earthly things, we should be 
sure to know what He would have us to do. If we 
know a thing to be wrong (whether we feel it or 
not), we must turn our backs resolutely upon it, or 
else have our backs turned toward Jesus. 

"It does not say, in Matt. v. 29, 30, that if thy 
right hand offend thee, tie it up for a season, and 
then unloose it.. Nor does it say, cut it off all but a 
little, and then bind it up and seek to make it heal ; 
but it says, ' cut it off and cast it from thee, for it is 
more profitable for thee that one of thy members 
should perish, and not that thy whole body should be 
cast into hell.' Here we see that He knows how 
dear to our human hearts the offending member often 
is; but still we are assured that it is absolutely pro- 
fitable for us to lose it. 

*'*Ye cannot serve God and mammon.' And, 
dear friend, just think for a moment how the loving 
heart of Jesus must feel if we hesitate to choose for 
Him. He really loves us. Do not let us forget this; 
for is not His love worth more than all the world 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 125 

beside ? So infinite, so tender, so everlasting ! the 
length and breadth of which we do not even begin 
to conceive, and the sweetness of it, which satisfieth 
the depths of the soul, we have but just begun to taste. 
Could we give this up, and take in its stead — what ? 
A bubble of a moment — a firefly's spark — a phantom 
light, that will but lead us further and further into 
the lake of the dismal swamp ! 

'' Paul could say that he counted ' all things but loss 
for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ,' for he 
had suffered the loss of all things, and did count them 
but dung that he might win Christ." 

** Do not be discouraged; remember that, 'forget- 
ting the things which are behind,' we are to press for- 
ward for the prize of our high calling. The Lord says, 
' My grace is sufficient for thee, my strength is made 
perfect in weakness.' He will cause you to stand, 
upheld by His mighty arm, if you will but trust Him 
for it. * None that put their trust in Him shall be 
desolate,' but He will cause them to have 'all suffi- 
ciency in all things. ' Think, too, of the sweet promises 
to such as forsake father or mother, wife, children or 
lands, or anything dear, for His name's sake. Matt. 
xix. 19, and such as are given to obedience, in John 
xiv. 21, 23, 24; XV., 10, II, 14; viii. 12; Luke 
xi. 34, and many more." * * * 




II- 




CHAPTER VII. 

HE following letter, addressed to a young 
friend who was deliberating the question of 
joining the army of the United States to 
crush the Southern rebellion, is a very clear statement 
of Alice's views in regard to war. In inclosing it, and 
other letters from the same hand, the receiver writes 
thus : — 

*'What a world of consolation and instruction 
these precious letters contain. I shall never know all 
that her affectionate counsels saved me from, in the 
way of yielding to temptation to sin ; but this I know, 
that she has done more toward teaching me of that 
* truth that will set us free' than any other creature." 



" MiLLViLLE, May 13, 1861. 
** My Dear Friend : 

* * * *^You asked the other day, when we 
pray to God to show us what His will is, and do not 
receive any answer, what we are to think is the cause. 
I think there may be many causes. The most com- 
mon, I believe, is this, that we are not really willing 
to know His will, that is, we are not willing to know 
it, if it should be opposed to our will. In other 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 1 27 

words, we ask with the hope that His will may be 
like ours, and a secret half-formed determination 
(not fully allowed, perhaps, even to ourselves) not to 
be convinced if it be opposite to it. I do not say 
that this is your case, but it is far more often the case 
with us than we. have any idea of; for the human 
heart is * deceitful above all things. ' I have been 
deeply humbled and utterly astonished at finding 
something of the kind to have been working in my 
own heart, when I thought I had long and earnestly 
been seeking to know the mind of the Lord, and was 
just beginning to doubt His faithfulness because He 
had not answered my prayers. 

*^ You see it is necessary we should be willing to 
receive before He can give us either the knowledge 
to understand His will or strength to do it. If you 
cannot with an honest heart look up to Him and cry, 
*■ Lord, my one desire is to know and to do thy will, 
whatever it may be,' you cannot expect to be en- 
lightened — at least not until your heart has been 
changed in that respect ; for the promise is, ' He that 
will do my will,' or he that willeth to do my will, he 
shall know of my doctrine. 

'' It could not do any harm to examine your heart 
with regard to this. If you should be obliged to con- 
fess that in this sense and to this extent your eye is 
not single, do not be discouraged, but cease not to 
pray for it, until the Lord Himself has made it your 
only wish or concern in the matter to know and to do 
His will : for He can change even our ^•ebellious 
human wills and wishes, and, thanks be unto Him, He 
is willing to do it. 

''Another reason why we do not always get an 



128 ON THE ROCK: .et. 21. 

answer to our prayers I think is contained in the first 
chapter of James : ' If any of you lack wisdom, let 
him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and 
upbraideth not, and it shall be given him \ but let 
him ask in faith, nothing wavering.' Now do you 
really believe that it is your privilege to be given wis- 
dom of God to know what His will is concerning you 
in this matter? Or have you admitted the thought 
that you are too young and inexperienced a Christian 
to expect to come to any real knowledge, from the 
study of the Scriptures, of what His will is, and so 
have not studied it with the expectation of doing so ? 
If so, you must see that, in asking God to give you 
wisdom, you have not asked in faith, not expecting 
to receive the very thing you have asked for. 

"That it is the absolute duty as well as the pri- 
vilege of every Christian to be ^ fully persuaded in 
his own mind' from the Word of God what His will is, 
is clearly taught in the Bible. In the fourteenth chap- 
ter of the Epistle of Paul to the Romans, where he 
speaks concerning a difference of opinion which had 
arisen among them about the observance of days, he 
says, * Let every man be fully persuaded in his own 
mind,' or perfectly assured as to the right, and then 
goes on to say, let him that believeth one thing, and 
him who believeth another, each do what he doeth 
*unto the Lord.' 

** The case is in point, excepting one great dif- 
ference, which is, that the question whether it is right 
for a Clyistian to fight is a matter of much more 
serious importance ; but Christians differ in their 
ideas of right about it, and just in the same way every 
one must do as he feels assured the Bible teaches him 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. Will TALL. 129 

he ought to. None can avoid the necessity of judg- 
ing for himself what the Bible teaches on every ques- 
tion of duty, by thinking that what so many Christians 
think it teaches must be right. No ; every one indi- 
vidually must ' search the Scriptures, ' for they are 
indeed able to ' make wise. ' They are alone infallible, 
and by them we shall be judged ; and the Holy 
Spirit to enlighten us, and show us what it means, is 
promised to all God's children. (See John xiv.- 16, 
17, 26; xvi. 13; I Cor. i. 30; ii. 12; vi. 19; Psalm 
XXV. 8, 9.) 

''If we had a child who wished to do our will, 
would we refuse to make known that will unto him? 
And will God do less for us ? He has said that He 
'will teach sinners in the way,' for 'the meek will 
He guide in judgment, and the meek will He teach 
His way.' 

" By what I have said I do not mean to infer that 
the views held by a majority of Christians are not 
entitled to our serious consideration from that fact, 
for I think they are ; but we should examine them by 
the Bible, depending on the Spirit of God to show 
us the truth. If we are convinced they are Scriptural, 
then we can safely adopt them as our own, not be- 
cause they are the views of most Christians, but be- 
cause we believe them to be the very thing the Bible 
teaches. 

' ' There is, however, one thing I would remind 
you of while speaking of the view upon war com- 
monly held by Christians of the present time. It is, 
that far more Christians of all ages have thought it 
wrong for them to fight than you at first would have 
any idea of. During a considerable period after the 



130 ON THE ROCK: mt. 21. 

crucifixion of Christ, His followers believed that He 
had forbidden war, and consequently refused to bear 
arms. This fact is established by all writers of that 
time. Their being Christians seemed to them suffi- 
cient reason why they could not fight; as in the case 
of Maximilian, who, as it is related in the * Acts of 
Ruinart,' when he was brought before the tribunal to 
be enrolled as a soldier, replied, ' I am a Christian 
and cannot fight,' and was consequently consigned 
to the executioner. Marcellus, who had already en- 
listed, abandoned his office, and the reason he gave 
was similar, * It is not lawful for a Christian to fight 
for any earthly consideration.' 

'^That these were not merely the views of a few 
individuals, but the settled principles of the whole 
body, up to as late as the middle of the third century, 
there is abundant proof. I think a strong evidence 
of what the primitive belief was, is to be found in the 
fact that some authors of the second century de- 
clared that the refusal of Christians to bear arms was 
a fulfilment of prophecy, treating the fact as noto- 
rious and unquestioned. 

*' Justin Martyr writes, * That the prophecy in Isaiah 
ii. 4, and Micah iv. 3, is fulfilled you have good reason 
to believe, for we, who in times past killed one an- 
other, do not now fight our enemies.* 

*' Christ and His apostles delivered general pre- 
cepts for the regulation of our conduct. The Chris- 
tians who lived nearest to His time applied His 
pacific precepts to war, and believed that they abso- 
lutely forbade it, and with undoubting confidence 
they openly avowed this belief; and in support of 
it they sacrificed their fortunes and their lives. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 131 

'^ Afterward Christians became soldiers, but when? 
When their general fidelity became relaxed. It wa;s 
at a time when corruption and infidelity came into 
the church, and so obscured the light of truth that 
even the fundamental doctrine of justification by 
faith in Christ was almost lost. But ever since that 
time there have been not a few Christians in all parts 
of the world to lift up their voices against Christians 
fighting. 

*' I mention these things simply as a reason why 
we should not think that what the churches generally 
hold in our time must therefore necessarily be true. 
Had we lived in the fifteenth century instead of the 
nineteenth, and reasoned in that way, we should have 
had to believe for the same reason that we are to be 
saved by our own works, as that was the current be- 
lief in the Christian world at that time, and only a 
very few scattered individuals dared openly to avow 
that we are saved by faith in Christ. • 

**The little conversation we had the other evening 
on this subject was not altogether satisfactory to me, 
from the fact that we argued about the expediency 
of Christians supporting their government by taking 
up arms. The question to be settled is whether it 
is right for a Christian to slay his fellow men for any 
reason. If it is wrong, then there can be no neces- 
sity or expediency for him to fight in the sight of 
God, no matter if there seem to be thousands of 
earthly reasons why he should. 

*' Neither did I feel prepared to argue with you 
about the ways and means by which a government 
could support itself without war, as that does not bear 
on the point in question. I did, however, wish very 



132 ON THE ROCK: .et. 2I. 

much to call your attention to some little of the evi- 
dence which I think I see so clearly in the New Tes- 
tament, that it is very inconsistent and very wrong 
in a Christian to fight. 

*' This letter is already beyond all common bounds 
of letter-writing, but I must just give you a few of my 
reasons for believing as I do, in order that in taking the 
subject into serious consideration, as I hope you are 
doing, you may look a little on both sides of the 
question. 

'* In the first place, I think it is forbidden by the 
whole spirit of Christianity, which most emphatically 
teaches us to let love * increase and abound' in our 
hearts 'toward all men.' (i Thess. iii. 12, 13.) The 
Scriptures tell us to love our neighbor as ourselves, 
and that 4ove worketh no ill to his neighbor' (Rom. 
xiii. 9, 10); and again, to *do good unto all men.' 
(Gal. vi. 10; Heb. xii. 14.) When we go out to fight 
our neighbor with the intent of taking away that life, 
which is of more value to him than any other earthly 
thing, are we fulfilling either the spirit or the letter 
of Christianity? When we lay low in death the 
husband or the son, leaving the wife and mother 
desolate and afflicted, are we ' working no ill to our 
neighbor ?' I cannot but answer that such acts are a 
direct disobedience of these precepts, which nothing 
but a direct command from God could justify. I 
have searched in vain through the New Testament to 
find any command that could possibly convey the 
meaning that the Christian must kill his fellow men 
in support of his government. 

** We are told to be subject unto it, and not to re- 
sist it, for it is ordained of God, who has given to it 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 133 

its power. That, however, is not telling us to do 
what is wrong in its service ; for just so we are told 
to obey our parents, but we do not think that would 
justify us in doing anything which we believe to be 
wrong because they tell us to. We must obey 
God arid serve Him rather than man or any human 
power. 

''What is right and what is \^rong is to be deter- 
mined by God's commands and Christ's example ; 
therefore if from these we find it to be wrong to slay 
our fellow men, we are fully justified in saying that 
we are not under any obligation to our country, even 
if she were to lay her absolute commands on us, to 
do so in her service. (See Acts iv. 19; v. 28, 29.) 

'' Secondly. We are told to follow the example of 
Christ, (i Pet. ii. 21-23.) ^^ avenged not the 
wrongs He saw in the world, nor those done unto 
Himself, but went about doing good to all who came 
near Him, healing diseases, giving life to the dead ; 
and finally set us an example of so loving men that 
He laid down His own life, in order that they might 
live. Can we persuade ourselves that we are in His 
spirit, and 'following in His footsteps,' when we 
ruthlessly contribute to bring desolation and want 
to many a fireside, and to hurry many a poor im- 
penitent sinner into eternity, to be an everlasting 
witness of how we loved his soul ? Christ is the 
Prince of Peace, and we are His lights in a world 
lying in darkness. 

" It is the glorious mission of the Christian to carry, 
not death, but the light of life, even life eternal, to 
his fellow men. (See Phil. ii. 15, 16; Matt. v. 
14-16; I Pet ii. 9.) 
12 



134 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 21. 

*' Thirdly. We are commanded not to have any fel- 
lowship with nor take any part in works of darkness. 
(Eph. V. 8-1 1.) That war in itself is a work of 
iniquity every one agrees. The Bible says that all 
warrings and contentions arise from the sinful lusts 
and passions of men. (James iv. i.) Therefore the 
only question is — Is a Christian ever justified, on any 
pretence, in entering into a work of iniquity? The 
Bible answer is very plain, ' Let every one that 
nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.' 
(2 Tim. ii. 19; Tit. ii. 14.) 'Abhor that which 
is evil, cleave to that which is good.' (Rom. xxi. 9 ; 
3 John ii.) If there is any doctrine strongly laid 
down in those pages, it is that we must take no part 
or lot in anything we believe to be wrong. (2 Cor. 
vi. 14-18.) Neither by any means 'do evil that 
good may come.' (Rom. iii. 8.) 

'' Lastly, we are told to deal with our fellow men as 
Christ has dealt with us. (Eph. iv. 32; v. 2.) Christ 
deals with us in grace, and w^e ought also to deal 
with men in grace. This is not always a pleasing 
doctrine to the flesh, but it is Bible doctrine. We 
must forgive other men, even as God for Christ's 
sake has forgiven us. It is not the place of a Chris- 
tian to avenge the wrongs done to himself, for it is 
written, 'avenge not yourselves' (Rom. xii. 19), and 
' recompense to no man evil for evil.' (Rom. xii. 
17; I Peter iii. 9; i Thess. v. 15.) If the 
commands not to avenge the wrongs done to him- 
self are so stringent, the Christian ought to think well 
before he takes it for granted that it is his place to 
avenge those done to another, or to his government. 

"If you go back to the Old Testament, you will find 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 135 

that to the Israelites, war of their own will, or by 
their own counsel, was not lawful, for they were 
obliged at all times to go to the oracles of God, and 
get a direct command from God to go, which none 
do, or can do now. Nor can we make their example 
by itself a guide to our actions, as many things were 
allowable to them, ^ because,' Christ says, 'of the 
hardness of their hearts' (Matt. xix. 8), that are not 
allowable to Christians. And in the fifth chapter of 
Matthew, He says : ' It hath been said an eye for an 
eye ; but I say unto you that ye resist not evil, for 
whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn 
to him the other also.' We thus learn that those who 
were under the law of Moses might indeed act toward 
their fellow men in simple justice, while Christians 
are called, by the more full and perfect law of Christ, 
to the exercise of that forbearance, and patience, and 
love which Moses did not command j to suffer wrong, 
to love their enemies, to pray for them who despite- 
fuUy use them, and to seek in all ways the best and 
highest good for all men, even as they seek their own. 
*'The Bible always contemplates a Christian as 
called to a spiritual, not a carnal warfare. Our Lord 
Himself, says : ' My kingdom is not of this world, 
else would my servants fight.' And in 2 Cor. x. 
3, 4, Paul says : * Though we walk in the flesh, we 
do not war after the flesh, for the weapons of our 
warfare are not carnal,' &c. ; and these weapons are 
described in Eph. vi. 11-17. Our feet are to be 
'shod with the gospel of peace.' We are told to 
'walk in the Spirit,' and we ' shall not fulfil the lusts 
of the flesh.' (Gal. v. 16.) And what is 'the fruit 
of the Spirit ?' ' Love, joy, peace, long-suffering, 



136 ON THE ROCK: ^/r. 22. 

gentleness, goodness, meekness.' (Gal. v. 22, 23.) 
Contrast these with ' the works of the flesh,' ' wrath, 
strife, envyings, murders, variance, emulations, and 
such like.' (Eph. v. 19, 20.) 

" I might go on and take up every argument which 
I have heard urged in favor of war, and tell you how 
and why I have concluded them all unscriptural, but 
I have not the time, and I am sure if you compare 
them prayerfully with the Scriptures, you will come 
to the right conclusion. And now, with the prayer 
which is in my heart for you, that you may ever be 
kept and guided by your Father's hand, I am, as 
ever, your friend." 

" TswEDELLE, June 15, 1861. 
''My DearB. C. : 

'' I am kept at home from my usual Sabbath after- 
noon duties by a toothache, which makes me feel 
unfit for almost everything, but I want so much to 
exchange a few words with you, that I am going to 
try and forget the pain ; for on Wednesday we ex- 
pect my sister Annie and her family, and with a 
houseful I do not generally find more quiet time to 
myself than I need for devotion and the study of the 
Bible. 

* * * '<I want to tell you how my visits to 
you have comforted and strengthened me ; they 
seemed to be just what I needed, first in showing me 
very strikingly that it is the privilege of the Christian 
to rejoice always in the Lord, and not only so, but 
his absolute duty to do so. Secondly, they showed 
me by contrast where I have so often failed in glori- 
fying God hitherto ; and thirdly, and best of all, they 



MEMOIR OF AL ICE B. WHIT A LL. 137 

showed me the way by which even I can always re- 
joice in God. If I could only say that I have learned 
these three lessons perfectly, you would indeed have 
given me a rich legacy, but even on the first I am 
sometimes tempted to doubt. 

^^ I want to ask you a question which was put to 
me the other day. I was saying that I thought we 
often dishonor God by not rejoicing and praising 
Him all the time as you do, when it was remarked, 
* Don't you think God ever hides His face from us, 
so that we cannot rejoice ?' I think I hear you say : 
' Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, re- 
joice;' and we are not commanded to do anything 
we cannot do. Certainly it is written, * God tempt- 
eth no man ;' and what greater temptation to despair, 
unbelief, and sin can be imagined than a withdrawal 
of the source of all our strength, and joy, and blessing 
would be ! 

^^ However this may be, I will try the way you 
directed me, and that is to ask and trust Jesus to 
make me praise Him and rejoice in Him. So far 
He has answered my prayer most graciously, and I 
do enjoy a more complete rest, and* joy, and rejoicing 
in Him than I can express ; but I would like to be 
more sure that I have a right to ask to be kept so 
always. 

*' The verse you gave me rings in my ears so sweetly 
and reassuringly : ' Have I not commanded thee, be 
strong and of a good courage, be not afraid, neither 
be thou dismayed, for the Lord thy God is with thee 
whithersoever thou goest,' and I do not know exactly 
why the words always seem to be added, ' and my ban- 
ner over thee shall be peace.' I believe these exact 

12* 



138 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 22. 

words are not in the Bible, but they have greatly- 
comforted me, and I can look forward to the future 
with so much more joy, now that I think of such a 
banner waving over my head. 

''I send you these few disconnected thoughts, as 
they will at any rate prove to you that I think of you, 
and may serve as some slight clue to what is passing in 
my mind. 

" And now may the very God of peace bless you 
richly in blessing others, and make me more like you, 
for Jesus' sake. Amen." 

" MiLLVILLE, 7th mo. 23, 1 861. 

** My Darling Mother : 

* * * '* We get along very quietly down here, 
and have nice times sewing and reading. I nearly 
ruined one of my dresses, and have been busy, keep- 
ing Miss Flora McFlimsey in something to wear. 
We rode out on 7th day afternoon to see old Mr. 
Loder. To my astonishment we found him so well 
that he was sitting under the shade of the trees in 
front of the cottage, his wife and daughter both away, 
leaving him alone.* He seemed very bright, and de- 
lighted to see us. He is very old — over eighty, I 
think ; but his eyes light up, and he looks the picture 
of happiness when he speaks of some of Christ's pro- 
mises. We asked him if he was not afraid to be left 
so entirely alone, being so helpless. It was blowing 
very hard, and I asked him if he was not afraid of 
a loose board from the roof falling on his head, for 
some of them looked very like it. He shook his head, 
and looked up brightly and said, ' No, it might fall and 
kill this poor body, but it could not hurt me. ' I asked 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WIIITALL. 139 

him, 'Why, what gives you this confidence that it 
could not hurt you?' He replied, 'Jesus, Jesus will 
take care of me.' I thought this poor old man 
had learned the same secret that David knew, when 
he said, ' Yea, though I walk through the valley of 
the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art 
with me.' " 

To AN Invalid, who was always confined to her 

Room. 

"TSWEDELLE, Oct. 1 86 1. 

''You will probably wonder at receiving a letter 

from a stranger, but the other day Mr. L gave me 

one of your letters to read. It was an account of your 
Christian life, which interested me so much that I 
cannot refrain from writing you a few words of Chris- 
tian love and sympathy. Although the Lord has seen 
fit to lead us in very different ways, still I feel that it 
is the same loving hand that has portioned out for both 
of us what His loving kindness and tender mercy sees 
best, and that it is the realization of the same glorious 
truth, of the love of Jesus for sinners, that has made 
us both happy. We are both sheep of the same good 
Shepherd, and I know full well that we are poor, 
weak, foolish sheep ; but have we not occasion in- 
deed to rejoice in that we have such a good Shep- 
herd ? He Himself tells us how a good shepherd 
cares for his sheep. Have you ever thought that the 
very reason why He calls us sheep is because they 
are such silly, helpless creatures, and are more de- 
pendent on their keeper than any other animal ? It is 
a known fact that a horse, a cow, or even swine, can 
find their way home if they are lost a few miles dis- 



I40 ON THE ROCK: mt. 22. 

tant ; but a sheep cannot : he must be followed and 
brought back. 

** You said in your letter that the thought that you 
might ever stray from Him and be lost was one 
which troubled you ; that you knew He was faithful, 
but you doubted yourself. I too have often thought 
of that, for well I know that my natural heart is so 
sinful that it is capable of anything ; but I have no 
such fear now, for I know that a good earthly shep- 
herd does not let his sheep stray entirely away, be- 
cause he knows their weakness and foolishness ; and 
is it to be supposed that the great Heavenly Shepherd 
is less faithful, or will do less for His sheep than an 
earthly one ! So now I trust Him not to let me 
wander, for I am far more weak than a sheep. We 
have His promise, ' My sheep hear my voice, and I 
know them, and they follow me, and I give (in the 
present tense) unto them eternal life, and they shall 
never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out 
of my hand ; ' and as if He thought some might doubt 
His power to keep. He adds, '■ My Father, which 
gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able 
to pluck them out of my Father's hand ; I and my 
Father are one.' So I think from the Bible we may 
trust Jesus for this as well as for everything else. 

*'I often find myself as a foolish sheep, having 
become entangled in the briers of temptation, where 
I lie all torn and bleeding, until my good Shepherd 
comes and lifts me up in his arms, and carries me 
back on His bosom. 

*' Oh, is not this wonderful, wonderful mercy ! 



' Nothing but sin have I to give, 
Nothing but grace shall I receive. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 141 

''I did not intend making this letter so long, for 
my time is much occupied, and my health at present 
does not allow me to write much at a time. But as 
God has given you the privilege, among many which 
He has denied you, of being able to write, I would 
like to hear from you. I am, as a Christian, very 
much interested in all that interests you." 

We give a portion of the answer to this letter : — 

''Your kind Christian letter was received by me 
with a glad heart. You do not seem to me to be a 
stranger, although I never heard your name till I met 
with it in your letter. There is a pleasant familiarity 
among the children of God ; and why should there 
not be, when we are adopted into the same family ? , 

" I was doubly glad on receiving your letter, first 
for your Christian sympathy, next because you showed 
me plainly a fault in myself that I was not aware of — 
the sin of unbelief. You may wonder that I never 
discovered it in myself, but I never did, and in your 
letter I could see it as plainly as if I had been look- 
ing at my face in a glass. I was at the same time 
glad and sorry — glad that you had written to me so 
kindly and faithfully, and sorry that I had been 
doubting God's word. I thought I was only doubt- 
ing my own sinful self in being afraid that I might 
wander from my Heavenly Shepherd, but in your 
letter I could see at once that it is God's faithfulness 
that I have been doubting. How blind I have been ! 
And Christ has given us such assurances of security 
and tranquillity. * * * In Isaiah xxvii. 3, in speak- 
ing of His care of His vineyard, He says, 'I the 



142 ON THE ROCK: i?.i. 22. 

Lord do keep it; I will water'it every moment; lest 
any hurt it, I will keep it night and day. ' " * * * 

The following letter was written by Alice, at the 
request of this young girl, to a friend of hers, who, 
though many years a great sufferer, had never found 
joy and peace in believing in Jesus. Indeed her 
distress of mind only increased as her disease seemed 
drawing toward a fatal termination, from the fear 
that her sufferings here were but a foretaste of what 
she would have to endure through eternity. This 
letter was copied before it was sent, and as no answer 
has been found, we can only hope that the receiver 
learned to say, in the confidence of faith, ''For me 
to live is Christ, and to die is gain:" — 

"TswEDELLE, December, 1861. 

''A few days since I received a letter from Miss 
S , in which she spoke of your great bodily suf- 
fering, and also told me something of your distress of 
mind. I have sympathized with you so much that I 
have concluded to write to you, hoping that a few 
words from one who has found the gospel of Jesus to 
be indeed ' glad tidings' to her sin-burdened soul, 
and longs that you too may rejoice in them, may not 
be unwelcome. 

''You say that your greatest trouble is the feeling 
that you are a sinner, and the fear that your sins are 
not forgiven, and that you are not prepared to die. 
Then, dear friend, the Bible message to you will be 
good tidings, for it says, that 'Christ Jesus came 
into the world to save sinners.' (i Timothy i. 15.) 
That is, bad people ; not good people, but sinners — 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 143 

those who have whole years of sins on their shoulders. 
And now what does the Bible say that Jesus has done 
for such? 'He died to save them.' Yes! in order to 
save them from the punishment of their sins, which 
is eternal death, He came down from His bright 
heavenly home, and Himself died instead. Is it a 
reality that Jesus has died for me? That He has 
stooped to take my sins on Himself, and that He has 
already put them away forever? Ah, if so, if this be 
the glad tidings, then happy am I, for the sins cannot 
still rest on my head which Jesus has atoned for 
with His precious blood. Is not this really the mes- 
sage of God concerning His Son? (i John v. 9-13.) 
And is it not His message? to you ? He says, ' The 
gift of God is eternal life' (Rom. vi. 23), and that 
this 'free gift' (Rom. v. 15, 16) He bestows upon 
sinners (Matt. ix. 12, 13). That all who will may 
take it ' without money and without price.' 'Who- 
soever will, let him take of the water of life freely. ' 
(Rev. xxii. 17.) And now is it not for you ? Are you 
not a sinner? For such Christ died. Do you not feel 
your need of it? Jesus said, 'If any man thirst, let 
him come unto me and drink.' And lastly, are you 
not willing to receive it? 'Whosoever will;' does 
not that mean you ? Yes ; Jesus has done all for 
you, and all He wishes you to do is to accept the 
salvation He has wrought out for you. Certainly if 
I brought you a rich gift, which it had cost me much 
to procure for you, you would not be too weak or 
powerless to accept it, for that would not require any 
skill or great exertion on your part. There would 
be no difficulty about it, if you had a willingness to 
receive it, and believed that I was in earnest in giving 



144 ON THE ROCK: ^T. 22. 

it to you. In God's great mercy, He has made the 
reception of His salvation just as simple a thing. He 
tells you what he has done for you, and He wishes 
you to believe what He tells you, and trust Him to 
do what He says. You are nothing but a receiver ; 
He sees that you are too weak and sinful to do one 
thing aright, so in His mercy He takes it all out of 
your hands. He gives all — pardon, the robe of right- 
eousness to cover your nakedness, an eternity of bliss 
with Him — in short, all things you need ; and you 
but receive, wonder, and praise. Take God at His 
word \ honor Him by believing that He means what 
He says, * For through His name, whosoever be- 
lieveth in Him (Jesus) shall receive the remission of 
sins.' (Acts X. 43.) 

'* You say you fear that it is too late, that your 
day is past. No ; your very distress about your sins 
is a sure sign that God's Spirit is still working in your 
heart. Remember the thief on the cross; he was 
saved at the last hour. And Jesus is not less merciful 
now. Do not let Satan tempt you to think your 
great sinfulness is a reason for believing the gospel 
message is not for you. Your sinfulness and great 
need of a Saviour is the very reason that He died for 
you. 

*'It is the sick, the very sick, who send for the 
physician, and he comes quickly, just because they 
are so ill. If he hears they are not much sick, he 
will delay his coming. You know yourself that it 
would be but folly to wait until you are better before 
you send for your physician ; and just so Jesus came to 
save those who had need, great need of Him. 

*'If you are able, I wish you would write to me, 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 145 

and tell me all, but at all events go and tell Jesus, 
for He is ^ able to save to the uttermost all those who 
come unto God by Him.' Committing you to your 
tender Father's care, I am yours in Christ." 

"TSWEDELLE, DeC. I9, 186I. 

*' My Dear Carrie : 

* * * <' I was so sorry, darling, that I did not 
think of thee on thy birthday \ I thought of it the 
next day, and have indeed wished many good wishes 
for thee, and kissed thee many times in spirit. May 
God bless thee, darling, and make thee to walk nearer 
and nearer to Him each year ! 

*' I often think how different our birthdays are to 
us now from what they used to be when we were 
children. Then they were all joyous; now, how 
solemnizing ! They make us think that it is a solemn 
thing to live as well as to die. * * * 

*' To-day will, I suppose, bring us decided news 
with regard to a war with England. I hope it may 
be averted, but time alone can and will prove. 
Were it not for Luther's comfort, 'God reigns,' I do 
not know what we should do. It all seems wonder- 
fully like the description in the Bible of the last 
days." 

To M. M. J. 

"TsWEDELLE, DeC. 29, 1861. 

''I have only time to say good evening to you, my 

dear M , for in about fifteen minutes we are going 

down to sit with father in the library, and sew, while 
he reads aloud to us. We spend almost every even- 
ing with him, and you don't know how pleasant it is. 
13 



146 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 22. 

He generally reads in the ' Living Age/ or ' Eclectic 
Magazine/ and they are so interesting, containing so 
much general information, that the hours pass almost 
before we notice them. * * * 

"You will be glad to hear that we had a very 
sweet Bible class last week, almost the sweetest one 
we have ever had. It was the seventeenth chapter of 
John. 

"I have not been regularly down to the cottages 
for a good while ; I have been so hoarse that it is im- 
possible for me to read or talk much at a time, even 
at Bible class. I went down yesterday just to see 
how they were ; they seemed very glad to see me. 

* * I am anxious to hear all about your Sabbaths in 
your next letter. I want to hear also about the 
Christmas tree, and the children, and about your 
skating ; but most of all, I want to hear about the 
* inner life,' and how it prospers in all the hurry of 
your busy life. Not ' pushed into a corner' I trust. 

* Oh, for a heart to blend with outward life. 
While keeping at Thy side.' 

** May God bless you and keep you from every 
temptation of Satan, who, be assured, is as busy as 
you, seeking by what means he may spoil your work, 
and draw your heart away from close communion 
with the blessed Lord. That we may both live on 
the 'watch tower,' is, my darling, the heart's desire 
of your loving friend, Alice." 

"TswEDELLE, Jan. 5, 1862. 
*' Dearest Annie : 

*'It is first day afternoon — lovely, clear and cold. 
I walked down to I 's for the first time for some 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 147 

weeks. I did not stay long, as I am hoarse yet, but 
spoke a little to them about Jesus, -which was a com- 
fort, as it has been so long since I have been able. 

'*I always now have the two girls come up and 
study a chapter in the Bible with me on their Sunday 

in. A evidently don't care much for the subject 

of religion ; but she sometimes cries when I talk to 
her, which encourages me to go on trying, although 
she don't evince interest in any other way, and often 
gets off from her lesson by very trivial excuses. I 
feel much better satisfied to know that she hears the 

gospel at any rate. I is always interested, and 

likes to have me talk to her, but, alas ! I fear her 
life is not altogether encouraging. 

**I see mother has told thee something of the 
sad event which ushered in our new year [the death 
of H. H. L.]. It seemed very sudden to us. Carrie 
said it was a very solemn time. * * * j think 
I shall go down to see her pretty soon ; the house will 
necessarily feel sad for a while. May we learn by 
this sudden removal from time to eternity to keep 
more before us the reality of eternal things, and the 
nothingness of the things of this life in comparison. 
Blessed be God, ' we know that if our earthly house 
of this tabernacle be dissolved, we have an house 
not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. ' 

* * I have been enjoying so much this afternoon Mack- 
intosh' s Notes on Leviticus, about the burnt-offering. 
How I wish thou could have these books, they give 
you such precious views of Christ's work in its dif 
ferent aspects." 

After giving some quotations, she says : — 

'^ I cannot give thee much idea of how beautifully 



148 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 22. 

he sets forth the self-emptied devotedness of Christ 
to His Father, and the perfect pleasure and infinite 
satisfaction of the Father in the Son. It seems to 
give me a deeper realization of what Christ meant 
when He said, ^ As thou. Father, hast sent me into the 
world, even so have I sent them into the world.' As 
Christ was not sent into the world to enjoy ease or 
His own rest, neither are we. As His was to be a 
life of pain and trial, and self-denying exertion, so 
is ours. He has not sent us into the world to bear 
the sins of the world, but as He came to do His 
Father's will, even so are we sent to do His will. 
Oh, what a picture this presents of what we ought to 
be to Christ ! And, dear Annie, as we know we 
have the power to do that for which we are sent, we 
are reanimated ; for as the life of Jesus was crowned 
by an eternity of glory and honor, and matchless joy 
in the bosom of His Father, even so on His bosom 
shall we rest forever. ' ' 

" TswEDELLE, Jan. 12, 1862. 
** My own Dear Carrie ; 

*'It is First day evening, and thou wilt find no 
difficulty in imagining us in our second story sitting- 
room. * * * 

*' To-day has not been as refreshing a Sabbath, as 
this day of rest often is to me. Satan has tried a very 
ingenious method to spoil what I hoped would have 
been a day of much study and refreshment. With- 
out any reasonable cause, I have been so sleepy that 
I have not been able to read three words without 
nodding. I really could not do a thing, and yet I 
think I never longed more in my life to be fed with 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 149 

the living bread. It is a dreadful feeling, this being 
so sleepy, and wasting the precious time for prayer 
or study, in trying to keep awake ; but perhaps it is 
calculated to make and keep us humble under a sense 
of our utter inability to worship or to do anything 
by ourselves. This may be the lesson the Lord is 
intending to teach me. 

*'I had such a pleasant day in the city yesterday. 

I was most of the time with H ; she is as busy 

as ever in her Master's cause, and seems to be just as 
much blessed in being used as an instrument in the 
hands of God to bring sinners to the feet of Jesus. 
Her devotedness and constant fervor in the work 
are a real rebuke to me. 

^' Oh, for a closer walk with God ! Won't it be 
lovely when we get to heaven, and are rid of this 
body of sin ? I do so long to be rid of sin ; it is 
forever hampering, and drawing down to earth, and 
hiding from us our great aim in life. Oh, to be able 
to tell forth our love to Jesus in our lives, even as 
Jesus told forth the depths of His wondrous love to 
the Father, in his life and death, 

*' After dinner I went with H. and S. F. S to 

see a wonderful colored woman (Hannah Carson). 
I never heard of an instance of greater bodily af- 
fliction, and yet she is rejoicing in the Lord. Her 
limbs are completely paralyzed, and she has no power 
of motion, excepting in her eyes. She suffers great 
pain all the time ; sleeps but very little, and her 
bones are almost through the flesh. For some years 
she had a girl to take care of her, who added to her 
sufferings by the most cruel treatment. It was truly 
refreshing to turn from this dreadful picture of bodily 

13* 



150 ON THE ROCK: ^T. 22. 

suffering, to behold a soul at rest, in the midst of 
all this, on the bosom of Jesus, quietly waiting, and 
suffering the will of her Father, even in joyfulness 
of spirit. Speaking of the new year still finding her 
here, she turned her bright eyes toward me, with 
almost a heavenly expression, and in answer to my 
question if she ever grew impatient to leave her poor 
body and fly away, she said, ' Oh no, miss, not so 
long as it is my Father's will for me to remain here ; 
had it been His will, old Hannah would gladly have 
greeted the new year in heaven many winters ago ; 
but I have no will but His in the matter; I can feel 
no wish even, apart from Him.' Was it not a beau- 
tiful answer? H asked her if she was not 

troubled by not being able to keep her mind off 
her suffering and earthly things. She said, ' No, it 
used to be so ', but God is very good to me, and 
now I can say, in truth, that my thoughts, like my 
heart, are in heaven, and seldom wander.' I wish 
I could tell thee many things that she said. What 
a reproach she is to any who would murmur ! She 
seemed so happy and calm in such an extremity of 
affliction. How wonderful is the grace of God !" 

" MiLLViLLE, Jan. 30, 1862. 

*' My Darling Annie : 

* * * ''I know that all is right and that * all 
things work together for good to them that love God.' 
Is not this text a comfort ? We use it, and take com- 
fort in it over and over again, and still it never grows 
old or stale. It is just as fresh to me to-day, when I 
think of it in connection with thee, as if I had never 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 151 

heard it before. All things ! That means every 
little thing. Oh, it is a comfort 1 * * * 

'*May God bless thee, dear Annie, and give thee 
a more abundant outpouring of His Spirit ! Remem- 
ber, darling, ' Blessed are they which do hunger and 
thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled.' " 

"MiLLViLLE, Feb. 6, 1862. 

'^ Dears 

* * * <<What treasures are there not stored 
up for us in Jesus, if we would only draw largely 
enough ! Yes, there is indeed wisdom and strength, 
and sweet comfort treasured up for us in the store- 
house of our Heavenly Friend and Comforter. And 
the key note of all comfort is found in the thought 
that all is in the hands of God. We must not let 
ourselves think of Him as a Great Creator, far away, 
but as a loving, tender Shepherd, bending over us, 
very near, hearing every unexpressed wish or longing 
desire, noticing every smothered sigh, and fully un- 
derstanding every aggravation of trial, be it great 
or small ; and what is better than all, taking care of 
every thing, and making ' all things work together 
for good." 





CHAPTER VIII. 

HE following letter contains an account of a 
circunistance which deeply interested dear 
Alice at the time, and which gave her a source 
of interest for all the remaining years of her life. The 
little child here spoken of was the son of a young 
widow, who had left her father's house in Baltimore in 
a fit of passion, and had been reduced from one stage 
of degradation and misery to another, until she had 
ended in the wretched cellar where Alice found her. 
This little boy, whom she named Earnest, was always 
felt by Alice to be a solemn charge directly from her 
Heavenly Father, and she opened her heart to re- 
ceive him to its loving care. During the remainder of 
her life she made all his clothes, supplied him with toys 
and books, took the oversight of his training, and often 
had him to spend weeks and months together at her 
own home, where she faithfully endeavored to fulfil 
the trust she had accepted, and to train him for eter- 
nity. Her death seemed like an almost irreparable 
loss to him ; but God so arranged it, that shortly 
afterward his mother, who had married again respect- 
ably, but who had concealed from her second hus- 
band at the time of her marriage the fact of her little 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 153 

son's existence, now made the whole story known to 
him, and he at once, with a noble forbearance, insisted 
upon taking the boy home to care for him as an own 
father would do. 

" TsWEDELLE, March 22, 1862. 

*'My Dear B. C : 

* * * <<i wonder how this will find you with 
regard to the poor weak body ; in spirit it will doubt- 
less find you still praising the Lord. You don't know 
how often I think of your continual praise, ascending 
as it does out of your deep affliction, and it always 
does me good, and makes me feel like saying, with 
your favorite hymn — 

* I'll praise Him while He lends me breath, 
And when mine eyelids close in death, 
Praise shall employ my nobler powers.' 

*'Your Methodist hymn book, which you gave me, 
I often resort to. I have been learning out of it that 
lovely hymn commencing — 

* From every stormy wind that blows, 
From every swelling tide of woes. 
There is a calm, a sweet retreat, 
'Tis found beneath the mercy-seat.' 

''It grows more wonderful to me every day, that 
poor sinful worms of the dust should be allowed such 
a refuge. 

'* Had I time I should like very much to tell you 
all about a little circumstance which has turned my 
thoughts and labors into a new channel for the last 
few days. I do not know whether you have heard 
about a new house of industry or female mission, 



154 ON THE ROCK: ^T. 22. 

which a few of my friends have been starting in one 
of the very worst streets of Philadelphia, which brings 
under their influence a number of the most degraded 
women, who hear the gospel of Jesus, most of them 
for the first time, and have an opportunity of begin- 
ning to live honest and respectable lives. 

* '■ I went down there the other day, as I often do when 

in the city, and arrived just as my cousin Mrs. S 

was surrounded by a number of poor women, who 
were telling her in the most affecting terms about 
a little baby in a cellar opposite. It had been given 
by its mother to a very bad man and woman, who, 
even in Bedford Street, were notorious for their 
drunkenness and cruelty, and whose only object in 
wanting the child was to reduce it to a skeleton, and 
then to carry it about the streets begging, in order 
to excite the public sympathy by its forlorn appear- 
ance. 

*'It was really a touching sight to see those poor 
women begging us to rescue the little creature from 
such a terrible fate. But what could we do ? We 
went over to see them, but could not make anything 
at persuading the drunken creatures to give us the 
child. We then went to the overseer of the poor, 
but he sent us to the beggar detective police, who, 
he said, would have the right by law to take the 
child away by force, if he had sufficient evidence that 
the man and woman were drunken, or in any way 
unfit to take care of the child. We at last found the 
officer we wanted, and proceeded with him to the 
cellar, and in a few minutes more the child was 
legally handed over to us, the mother having given 
up all right and title to it. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 155 

*' It was a strange feeling to think that that little 
fellow belonged entirely to us, and was dependent 
upon us. 

^ ' We took him to the mission house, and there 
took off his dirty rags, and wrapped him in a clean 
shawl. 

*^ A question then arose, what should we do with 
him? The almshouse was not the place for a 
baby, and not a single public institution in Philadel- 
phia will take babies. So we took him up to my 
uncle's, and gave him a good bath, and dressed him 
in some clothes my cousin gave him, and were sur- 
prised to find him a sweet, healthy child, with a 
lovely smooth complexion and large blue eyes. 
They say he is thirteen months old, but he has a mouth 
full of teeth, and seems much older ; claps his hands 
when he is hungry and sees his dinner coming, &c. 
We have found a private institution on purpose for 
little children and babies, where they have forty, all 
under four years of age ; carried on entirely by 
Christians who have felt it their duty to give up their 
time to it, for Christ's sake, and we have put him 
there. 

'' I became so much attached to him, and he to me, 
that I almost wanted to bring him home ; but I knew 
that I could not do that for many reasons. 

** We have been very busy making clothes for him. 
Poor little fellow ! it seemed strange to pray for him, 
and to feel that perhaps it was the first time he had 
ever been prayed for in his life. I feel indeed that 
God has made us his sponsors or guardians, without 
giving us the opportunity of choosing whether we 
will take the responsibility or not. It is a solemn 



156 ON THE ROCK: /et. 22. 

thing ; nothing can relieve us from the duty of see- 
ing that he is taught in the way of truth ; and truly 
we would not wish to get rid of what the Lord Him- 
self has laid upon us. 

"But I have written full enough about my baby. I 
fear I have tired you, and it is time I had said good- 
bye." 

After a short visit from her sister from Millville, 
she thus writes: — 

"TswEDELLE, April I, 1862. 
* ' My own Carrie : 

" Thou can't think how I missed thee on 7th day. 
It was so dull and rainy out of doors, and bright 
thoughts would not reign within. But I sat down 
and tried to write an unusually cheerful letter to 

M , which had the effect of making me feel the 

brighter. 

** Yesterday we went to meeting, and I had a very 
sweet time, taking home somewhat of the lesson of 
Abraham to myself. In the afternoon I had a truly 
favored season at the cottages. I took the forty-first 

Psalm at M 's ; I never knew how much gospel 

it contained, it seemed to me I was never before 
enabled to set it forth so freely and so fully." 

To her other sister she writes : — 

"TsWEDELLE, April 6, 1862. 
*' My OWN Dearest Annie : 

"It is First day evening, and after a day of con- 
siderable exertion, I sit down to give the last end 
of this lovely Sabbath to my darling sister far away. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 157 

It has indeed been most spring-like for a few days 

past, and after I came up from I 's I ran down to 

the woods, just to see if the trailing arbutus was 
not out yet. I did enjoy it so much. The bright 
warm sun was so lovely, and the grass so green, and 
the birds sang more musically, it seemed to me, than 
I had ever heard them. All nature was praising God, 
and I joined with a really thankful heart. How 
many, many blessings does He not give us, which we 
seldom realize ! 

" I have had a lovely day, and I feel refreshed 
and strengthened. I do believe God will take care 
of me, and use me to His glory in some way, I do 
not know how, but, with Miss Waring, I can say, 

* I would be treated like a child, 
And guided where to go.' 

*' Indeed it seems that I want the Lord to do more 
than that for me. I want Him not only to guide me, 
but to make me go in the right path, after I know 
which it is." 

" TswEDELLE, April 29, 1862. 

*' My Dear Sister Annie : 

* * * ''I have been thinking lately that our 
every-day letters do not contain half as much of the 
inner life as they ought to. As for me, I seldom 
have anything to say of what passes within. I think 
my religion is deepening, rather than advancing. I 
am sure that Jesus, my refuge, is much more precious 
and necessary to me now than He ever was. I have 
learned much of His sufficiency, of which I scarcely 
dreamed before. And yet I cannot feel that I have 
14 



T58 ON THE ROCK: /et. 22. 

taken as many steps forward as I ought in the past 
year. It is dreadful to look at my own unfaithful- 
ness. I have wakened up to one thing, in which I 
have been very unfaithful, and that is in allowing my- 
self to float along with circumstances, contented to 
remain in ignorance with regard to what the Lord 
would have me do about certain things. 

'*It certainly is the will of the Lord, is it not, that 
His children should always know, and be sure, just 
what they ought to do in every matter? They are 
surely not called to act upon an uncertainty. . He 
has promised to be a guide to our feet, to ' lead us 
in a plain path,' to give us wisdom when we lack it. 
And is He not our ' Counsellor?' What do all these 
texts mean, if not that we may have confidence in all 
things that we may know the mind of the Lord, as 
to what He would have us to do ? We ought not to 
rest short of this, for although we may be in doubt 
for a season, have we not cause to believe that He will 
give us this knowledge before He calls upon us to act? 

" Now this is what in many respects I have not 
claimed. Beginning several years ago with the mat- 
ter of baptism, I rested short of certainty with regard 
to what the Lord's will was, and let myself drift along 
with circumstances. Since then I can see the same 
uncertainty keeping me back in other things. Now 
in God's strength I have made up my mind, not in 
anything to rest nor to stop diligently inquiring of the 
Lord, until I know, and am sure that I know, His 
will." 



I 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 159 

" TsWEDELLE, May 4, 1862. 

'' My Dear Sister Carrie : 

* * * ' ' I am sorry I have so little time left, for 
I wanted to talk to thee about baptism. I am greatly- 
stirred up about it. I have made a discovery — at least 
it seems like a discovery, although it is nothing new — 
and that is, that almost all my spiritual troubles have 
arisen from the fact that I have settled down to be 
contented with not knowing the will of the Lord about 
many things. It is perfectly ruinous to spiritual 
growth, and every time you act or stand still without 
being sure you are doing right, you are paving the way 
to more and more-unfaithfulness. It is our privilege 
and absolute duty to know what we ought to do in every 
matter. I rested short of knowing this about bap- 
tism, and I have rested short of it in many things 
since. Now I must begin to act differently. I have 
begun with other things, and now I must mend with 
regard to baptism, as this was a sort of starting-point 
of my unfaithfulness. Do let us try, with the Lord's 
help, to be more faithful." 

Shortly after writing the above two letters, after a 
diligent study of the Scriptures, and much prayer, 
Alice was settled in the conviction that baptism with 
water was a scriptural ordinance, and that it would 
be in accordance with the will of the Lord that she 
should submit to it. Although some of her friends, 
who may read this memoir, may not unite with her in 
her views on this subject, yet they cannot but acknow- 
ledge in her unhesitating obedience in this respect, 
her single eye to what she believed to be the Lord's 



i6o ON THE ROCK: ^t. 22. 

will. Several letters, which follow, tell her feelings 
and experiences in regard to it. 

" TswEDELLE, May 20. 
** My own Dear Carrie : 

* * * "I think I have learned a lesson that is 

worth a great deal — a lesson in humility. I have a 

clearer idea of what my position ought to be. I am 

going to try to act like a pilgrim, and a stranger, and 

a traveller here. I feel somehow that I have taken a 

step. It is such an unspeakable relief to be settled 

upon some sure foundation with regard to baptism. 

I feel a calmness that is delightful. I am just resting 

upon Christ, and so I feel perfectly happy ; all care, 

all anxiety is laid on Him. 

* I am a sinner, and nothing at all, 
But Jesus Christ is my all and in all.' 

*' I am sure I never realized the first clause of this 
sentence so much, and I feel as though I never did 
the second. But I must not talk any more about this, 
though I believe I could write all day, I have so 
much to say. * * * j expect to go to New York 
on 5th day, nothing preventing, so am very busy. 

*'Kiss my nephew *baby Fank' for me. The 
little darling, how I love him ! 

^* Thy own loving Sister." 

Alice went to New York to attend the yearly 
meeting in the 6th month, to which the following 
letter refers : — 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. i6i 

*' TswEDELLE, June lo, 1862, 
*' My Dear Carrie : 

*'Does thee think thy little sister has forgotten 
thee ? I have been wanting so much to write, but I 
literally could not. 

^'I did not come home on 7th day, but went up 

the North River with uncle W . * * * Oh, 

dear, how I wish I could talk instead of writing. ' I 
want to tell thee everything. I had such a sweet 
time in New York, although it was a season of deep 
conflict and many mingled emotions. It refreshed 
me very much, and strengthened me in the path of 

duty. is perfectly lovely, and I was thrown 

with all the most interesting Friends. We had so 
many delightful seasons of religious and social inter- 
course. The First day school conference too was 
very instructive and encouraging ; it quite stirred me 
up. * * * 

*' I feel that this visit has been of the utmost import- 
ance to me. I never before knew how much I loved 
Friends, nor how much I valued my membership, 
and still I feel so confirmed in the new stand I have 
taken with regard to the Bible. It was delightful 
and yet heartrending. * * * j prayed earnestly 
that if I was mistaken in my new certainty about 
baptism and the Lord's Supper, it might be shaken, 
and such clear doubts come into my mind, that I 
would not be allowed to take this step, which I feel 
to be one of so much importance, but if I was right, 
that I might be settled in it. 

'^The Friends were all so kind and lovely; they 
even told me they were praying for me that I might 
have clear light given me as to what was my duty. 

14* 



l62 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 23. 

Dear was very sweet ; she told me we should 

be just as near to her as ever ; but I think the thought 
of losing us made her feel very sad ; it quite dis- 
tressed me to see it. We had some long conversa- 
tions about taking the Scriptures simply ; they were 
very satisfactory. 

'' About telling father and mother ! How can I do 
it? I am praying about it, but I confess I am in 
some trepidation of spirit. I am laying in a stock of 
kisses from dear father; he is so good and sweet, I 
cannot bear to grieve him ; he will feel that I am 
very undutiful and ungrateful. I do not want to act 
under any other feeling than that I am just doing 
an imperative duty. If we realize this, we will be 
willing to bear anything for the sake of it ) but other- 
wise I know I never shall be able to stand all that it 
will bring upon me. * * * And now good bye ; 
may God bless us both, and lead us in the right way. ' ' 

After telling her parents of her decision, she thus 
writes to her sister : — 

"TsWEDELLE, June 13. 
*' My Dear Carrie : 

* * * '^ I feel so happy about it now, so calm, 
and so sure I am doing right. * If ye love me, keep 
my commandments.' This I believe to be a com- 
mandment, and as such I will keep it, and (God help- 
ing me) all other commands which I see that He 
gives. The 21st verse of the fourteenth chapter of 
John has been much in my mind. ' He that hath my 
commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth 
me : and he that loveth me shall be loved of my 
Father j and I will love him, and will manifest myself 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WIIITALL. 163 

to him.' It is sweet to feel that you are seeking to 
keep His commandments. " 

" MiLLViLLE, June 26, 1862. 
' ' My Dear Friend : 

*' It is one of the loveliest of Sabbath mornings, so 
calm and quiet ; the little birds seem to be singing 
their praises even more joyfully than usual \xs. the 
wood upon which my window opens, and my heart 
too sings praises. 

**A11 the family have gone to meeting excepting 
myself, and as I could not go, I have been enjoying 
a little meeting here alone, and now I come to have a 
Sabbath morning talk with you. 

"There are some precious truths, into a fuller real- 
ization of which the Lord has most graciously brought 
me of late, and about which I would like to speak, 
for I long that you and all my friends may be more 
stirred up to realize with me, to what a glorious ^ high 
calling' we are appointed in becoming the children 
of God through Christ Jesus. 

' ' I know that all Christians give a passive assent 
when they read in the Bible that to become converted 
is to be made * an heir of God, and joint heir with 
Christ,' one of a 'chosen generation,' and a 'royal 
priesthood,' a member of the ' household of God,' 
even ' kings and priests unto God ;' but if these truths 
were accepted as realities, could it help making a 
wonderful change in our ideas of the duties of a 
Christian, as well as our zeal in performing them? 

"lam now convinced that the reason many fol- 
lowers of Jesus do not see the inconsistency of many 
things, such as fighting, either in self-defence or de- 



1 64 ON THE ROCK: >f.t. 23. 

fence of their country, is because they do not appre- 
hend the glorious truth of the heavenly calling of the 
church of Christ ; that we are absolutely and really 
* sons and daughters of the Lord Almighty,' and are 
called to act accordingly. As sucR, we can afford to 
act very differently from the way in which others do. 
We are no longer to act upon human reasoning, for 
we are the 'citizens of heaven,' governed by its laws 
and rules ; we are on the earth, but not of the earth. 
Oh, what a different aspect this gives our whole lives. 

** Will you not pray, dear friend, that your eyes may 
be opened to realize more fully our heavenly calling, 
privileges, and possessions? Think of the wonderful 
names by which we are designated, and what a glorious 
destiny we are told lies before us ! To be the 
'temple of the living God' (Eph. xi. 22), to be 'fol- 
lowers of God,' 'children of the light,' 'accepted in 
the Beloved,' and to know that we shall be like Him, 
that one day we shall share His throne and reign with 
Him ! We are, in short, dead and risen men ; the 
life we now live is resurrection life. It is as though 
we had died and gone up to heaven, and taken pos- 
session of our home there, and then had been sent 
back to earth for a little while to accomplish some 
mission for our Lord. 

"We are strangers and pilgrims on earth ; we have 
here no continuing city, but God has prepared for 
us a city. The world hates us because we are not of 
the world, even as Christ was not of the world, and 
the Father loves us as He has loved His well-beloved 
Son. 

"You do, in some degree, appreciate what a 
glorious thing it is to be born of God, do you not? 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 1 65 

If yoil do, then the thought arises in your heart, as 
it has so powerfully in mine, ' Oh, that I could walk 
worthy of the vocation wherewith I am called.' The 
very purpose for which God has called us is that we 
'may be conformed to the image of His Son.' Mar- 
vellous words ! Oh, that we may know their full 
meaning ! Is not this indeed the most glorious des- 
tiny of which the mind can conceive ! And shall we 
mar God's purpose by our disobedience and rebel- 
lion ! I am sure we do want to be made like Jesus, 
and do not wish even in one single little thing to 
come short of the wondrous destiny to which God has 
ordained us. Shall we not then rather give ourselves 
up — body, soul, and spirit — ^to let Him work in us to 
will and to do of His own good pleasure ! 

''And now this brings me to the second truth, the 
importance of which I have come to realize more 
than ever before. It is this — The necessity of having 
our minds perfectly subjected to the written word of 
God. I have found that mine has not been, but I 
humbly hope it is now. It would be very difficult 
for me to make you understand exactly what my 
position was with regard to this ; but I never before 
appreciated what a gift the Bible is to the Christian, 
and, above all, what the Christian's position is with 
regard to the Bible. Just think of it, God has given 
us a book of written directions and commands, not 
only about the way by which we must be saved, 
through His dear Son, but about how we must walk 
after we are saved. We believe these are all inspired 
and perfect, having not one wrong direction or 
needless command. God Himself says that they are 



1 66 ON THE ROCK: ^t 23. 

able to make us perfect, and to furnish us unto every 
good work. * * * 

''I think I am prepared to follow the Bible, no 
matter where it may lead me. Such commands as 
those in Matthew v. 38-48, and Luke vi. 27-38, are, 
it is true, most unearthly and unreasonable ; but they 
are addressed to unearthly men, to a * heavenly race,* 
who do not acknowledge reason as their guide, but 
' live by faith. ' A child of wrath could not indeed 
give the cloak to him who has stolen his coat, for he 
has no Heavenly Father to give him another ; he 
could not turn his other cheek to the smiter, for he 
has no Father to avenge his wrongs ; he could not 
give to those who ask, and lend, hoping for nothing 
again, for he has no Heavenly Father to provide for 
all his wants; but God's children can do all this, and 
more, because their treasure is above. They are 
brought into fellowship with the Father and with His 
Son, and consequently are like-minded with them. 
God is not judging now, therefore His child must 
not judge ; God is not taking vengeance now, there- 
fore His child cannot avenge himself; God is dealing 
in grace, therefore His child must deal in grace. The 
world knows not God, it cannot see Him, therefore 
the children of God are set in the world to recom- 
mend and reveal Him. * * * 

'^ And now let me ask you one question. Is your 
mind in perfect subjection to the written word of 
God? Are you willing to take the Bible as your 
guide-book and directory, and follow wherever it 
may lead you? Will you give up all the traditions 
of men which you have been taught, and take instead 
the commands of God as your rule of life ? Come 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHIT ALL. 167 

to the Bible as a little child, willing to take every 
other command just as simply, and obey it, as you 
did the one to believe on Jesus and live. Try to 
forget all that man has taught you about what the 
Bible has said, and come to it to find out for your- 
self what really is there ; and remember that it is ^ by 
reason of use,' that is, by using the light we already 
have, ' that our senses are exercised to discern both 
good and evil.' '■ He that will do my will shall know 
of the doctrine;' and there is no reason why you 
alone, with God and your Bible, should not become 
a 'strong man' in the things of God. It is a matter 
of the greatest importance to both you and me to 
find out what we are to do ; let us then go to the 
Bible, with a fresh motive and fresh zeal, to find 
out what the commands of the Lord are ; and what 
we find there we will do, the Lord helping us, will 
we not? for He has said, 'If ye love me, keep my 
commandments.' * * * 

"I wish you could have met J. H. D., a real 
evangelist, a ' Friend' with whom I became acquainted 
during my visit to New York last month. Being 
with him could not help, I think, inspiring other 
Christians with the same feelings of longing to spread 
the gospel. 'Freely ye have received, freely give,' 
has been sounding in my ears ever since. I feel so 
desirous that you should throw your whole soul into 
this work. You are not a minister, but you have 
'heard;' then say, 'Come; whosoever will, let him 
come, and take of the water of life freely.' 

"I could say much more on this subject, but I 
must not, for I want to tell you something which 



l68 ON rilE ROCK: XY. 23. 

perhaps might have surprised you if you had not just 
read this letter. 

''Next Sabbath my sister Carrie and myself ex- 
pect to be baptized. I now see it clearly to be com- 
manded in my guide-book, and of course I obey — 
yes, and -gladly too ; although I could not express 
how deeply I feel the severe trials which accompany 
it. Besides causing dear father much pain, it is a 
real trial to me to leave Friends.* It is the society of 
my birth, and I love it; moreover, those whose 
opinion I care most for are Friends. But all this is 
as nothing ; my Saviour must be before everything, 
and it is His glory, not my own, that I am seeking; 
and, compared with the sweet pleasure of walking 
with Jesus, this trial seems light indeed. 

'' I look upon baptism as an expression of the glo- 
rious fact that r have been washed and made clean in 
the blood of my precious Redeemer ; and also of the 
fact that I have been 'buried with Him by baptism 
into death, that like as Christ was raised from the 
dead by the glory of the Father, even so I also may 
walk in newness of life.' May He enable me to feel 
always that as in figure I shall go down into death, 
and come up again from death, so in reality I may 
be dead and buried to the world, but risen with Christ, 
and walking in newness of life. I believe that bap- 

* Alice was not disconnected from the societ)', and she felt 
deeply the great kindness and consideration which she received 
from those who differed from her in their views on this subject. 
She often spoke of it afterward, and said that instead of finding 
it, as she had feared, to be a cause of separation from Friends 
she had long looked up to with respect and affection, she felt 
herself even more closely drawn to them in love than before. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 169 

tism is a most solemn, sweet, and appropriate figure 
of this death, burial, and resurrection with Christ." 



On the 30th of 6th mo. Alice was baptized, and for 
the first time partook of the outward emblems of the 
broken body and shed blood of her precious Re- 
deemer. She thus refers to it in a note written to her 
sister a i^^N days after : — 

"TswEDELLE, July 2, 1862. 
* * * a We have decided not to start for St. 
John until a week from to-morrow, and now that we 
are riot going so soon, I am possessed with a longing 
to see thee again my own precious Carrie, but I sup- 
pose it is impossible. Sabbath afternoon was so 
sweet to me that I have felt better ever since \ more 
like living the resurrection life." * * * 

About this time Alice received a visit from a young 
friend, for whose salvation she felt a deep anxiety. 
Shortly after her arrival, she sought an opportunity 
to set the gospel before her. At first, there seemed 
to be no response, and Alice's heart sank within her, 
and she thought * Well, I am at least doing my duty, 
and must leave the result with God. After she had 
concluded, however, her friend threw her arms around 
her and exclaimed, '*0h, I am so glad you have 
spoken to me on this subject. For months I have 
been thinking about it, and have had no one to talk 
to." The result was that, during her visit, this young 
girl was brought to a knowledge of her Saviour, and 
was enabled to trust Him for the forgiveness of her 
15 



lyo ON THE ROCK: /et. 23. 

sins, and, to Alice's great joy, openly confessed with 
her lips her faith in Him ; thus adding another to the 
many precious souls whom she was privileged during 
her short life to lead to the feet of that Saviour who 
was so dear to her. 

The next letter is from St. John, New Brunswick, 
where Alice spent the remainder of the summer with 
her sister Annie. 



To M. M. J. 

" St. John, July 22, 1862, 



*'My Dear M : 

**I am afraid you will think your ' dewdrop' has 
ceased to sparkle for you, or that she has gone to 
Europe, or some such distant place, it has been so 
very long since you have heard from her. * * * 

^'Indeed you have been much in my thoughts, for 
I fancied your last letter seemed sad. I do not like 
to think of you as being so, although I know there 
must be in every life sorrows, and many trials only 

known to God. But is it not a comfort, dear M , 

that they are all sent by Him, and that all our 
surroundings, and the circumstances in which we are 
placed, are arranged by his hand, and are working 
together for our good ? Let us remember, for our 
encouragement, that we are to be living stones in the 
temple of the Lord, and as blocks of granite must be 
chiselled and carved, sometimes by hard blows and 
cutting, into the desired form, if they are to take a 
place in an earthly building, even so we are having 
the rough edges taken off, and are being formed into 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 171 

the right shape to fill just the little niche in the living 
temple of the Most High, which He designs for us. 
* * * We may have many things to make us feel 
careworn and anxious, but He can take care of every- 
thing, and what more do we wish ? I have been 
earnestly praying to-day that the Lord will make me 
vigilant, and sober, and watchful ; that He will 
quicken me by His Holy Spirit that I may be * Not 
slothful in business, fervent in spirit, serving the 
Lord.' 

"^ My thoughts have been much occupied since I 
saw you in New York, by our baptism, which took 
place three weeks ago to-day ; it was a solemn and 
unspeakably precious season. * * * May the Lord 
abundantly bless us, and shed upon us the renewing 
influences of His Holy Spirit." 

To THE SAME. 

*' TSWEDELLE, Oct. 12, 1 862. 



''My Very Dear M : 

* * * ''I left St. John on the ist of September. 
You don't know how hard it was to leave my dear 
sister. I should have remained longer, but on account 
of the autumnal storms, it was thought best for me to 
leave when I did. I stayed in Salem with my friends 

the W s for two weeks, and then L. W and 

Mr. and Mrs. O returned with me to Tswe- 

delle. * * * 

''I wish I could have you here for a few weeks, in 
the quiet ! How we should enjoy it ! But our dear 
Jesus knows best, and when that blessing is the best 
thing for us. He will grant it to us. In Him have we 
not all things? 



172 



ON THE ROCK. 



/ET. 23. 



''The 5th chapter of Romans has seemed so pre- 
cious to me to-day, particularly the loth and nth 
verses. We are not only 'reconciled to God' by 
Christ's death, but are eternally safe because of His 
'life' (resurrection), and now we 'joy in God.' " 




CHAPTER IX. 

HE preservation from a most sudden and ter- 
rible death, of which Alice speaks in the 

following letter to her friend M. M. J , 

was considered by all who heard of it to be very- 
remarkable, and to her friends it was cause of deep 
thankfulness that, through the mercy of their Hea- 
venly Father, she was^ as it seemed, miraculously 
restored to them. 




"TSWEDELLE, Nov. 23, 1 862. 



''My Dear M : 

"Your letters would have been answered before 
this, had I not been prevented by illness. I was in 
bed for nearly two wrecks, but you will see that all 
danger has long since been over, when I tell you the 
cause of my illness. It was an accident that came 
very near terminating my life. I have been troubled 
a great deal this fall with neuralgia, particularly in 
my back, so about two months ago I asked the doctor 
if he could not give me something for it. He gave 
me two bottles of medicine, one for internal, the 
other for external use. By mistake, the wrong medi- 
cine was given to me, and it proved to be a deadly 

15* 



1 74 ON THE KOCK: /ET. 23, 

poison. The two bottles were exactly alike, and the 
medicines the same color. It was just at dusk, and 

did not look at the label, as she felt so sure 

that she had left the right bottle in just that spot on 
the mantel, with the spoon beside it; but some one, 
in dusting, I suppose, had removed it and put the 
aconite (which was what I took) in its place. 

**I had been suffering from a severe headache for 
two days, and was lying on the sofa at the time I 
took the aconite [about the 3d of November]. In 
about ten minutes we went down to tea. While at 
the table, I said to mother that my medicine seemed 
to have a very strange effect. She immediately 
thought that perhaps I had taken the wrong kind. 
She brought the bottle, and, sure enough, I had 
taken sixty drops of aconite. We looked in the 
* Dispensatory,' and found it was a deadly poison; 
that there were on record many cases where persons 
had taken twenty drops and died in less than an hour. 
Mother ran to order the carriage, while father and I 
pored over the book, hoping to find an antidote ; 
but nothing was said to direct us what to do. 1 did 
not feel sick, only a burning in my stomach, and a 
queer drawing up of the muscles of my face. It was 
a strange feeling to know that in a few short hours I 
might pass from time into eternity. I knew that my 
life was in imminent danger, and the horrible nature 
of the death made me for a moment shudder; but 
the thought of our perfect Saviour, and of going to 
be with Him, made me perfectly calm. I got in the 

carriage, and w^ went to Dr. H. C 's, as we feared 

to wait for him to come to us. He was fortunately 
at home, and gave me the most prompt and skilful 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 175 

medical treatment. It was, however, an hour and a 
half after taking the aconite before the emetics took 
effect, and by that time I was very ill. I did not 
lose my consciousness, though my whole body be- 
came rigid and cold ; my sight left me, and even my 
tongue stiffened in my mouth; the cold perspiration 
stood on my forehead, and I thought 'truly this is 
death.' For more than an hour I thought every 
breath would be my last. The doctor feared so too, 
as the effect of aconite is to contract all the nerves 
and muscles, particularly around the heart and lungs, 
thus stopping their action and causing death. It 
seemed a miracle that I did not die. For five hours 
I lay very low, suffering the most intense agony ; 
indeed the suffering was more fearful than anything 
I had ever dreamed of, but I can truly say that it was 
worth it all to realize what a perfect Saviour Jesus 
is in time of trial. I wish I could tell you of the 
heavenly calm He granted me during those hours of 
dreadful suffering. I have always, from my child- 
hood, had an almost morbid fear of death, and even 
since I have put my trust in Jesus I have sometimes 
been tempted to fear that when that trying hour came 
I should feel frightened, even though I knew that 
through a crucified Redeemer I was going to an eter- 
nal home in bliss. But when I thought each moment 
was my last, and the shadows of the dark valley were 
about me, every fear was taken away, and a heavenly 
joy and peace filled my soul. Jesus was with me, 
and I was not afraid. 

''When I felt myself coming to, it was almost with 
sorrow that I thought of recovering, only for mother's 
sake. Poor mother ! She must have suffered more 



176 ON THE ROCK: ^.t. 23. 

than we can imagine. She sent the carriage back 

immediately to Tswedelle for father and L. W , 

who was with us at the time, and they stayed with me 

until morning, when they took me home. Dr. C 's 

family were all so kind, they were up nearly all night, 
four or five of them rubbing me at once to bring 
back vitality and allay the suffering in my limbs. I 
never shall forget their kindness. 

' '■ The doctor said that all danger from the poison 
was over by the next day, but it left me very weak, 
and my nervous system had received a shock which 
it felt for some time. I had very good nurses. They 
sent for Carrie a few days after, when they found how 
slow my recovery was likely to be. At that time I 
had occasional sinking turns, which seemed rather 
alarming; but the doctors (I only had four) said they 
were not at all dangerous. They all complimented 
me on having a remarkably strong constitution, as a 
weak one, they all agreed, could never have rallied. 

*' You don't know what a cozy little room mine grew 
to be during my sickness, or rather my convalescence. 
It always was cozy, but now it is pleasanter than ever. 
If you could have peeped in upon our social circle, 
you would have wanted to join us, I am sure ; and 
equally sure am I that you would have been most 
heartily welcomed by us all, but especially by the 
invalid on the sofa, in the blue dressing-gown and 
slippers." 

The trial and the triumph recorded in the above 
letter were to Alice cause of the deepest thanksgiv- 
ing to the God of all grace, who had proved Him- 
self to be such an all-sufficient Helper in time of need. 
She often spoke of her feelings at the time, and of 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 177 

the perfect victory over all her natural fear of death, 
which was granted her. From her childhood she had 
always had an especial horror and dread of being 
buried alive, and while under the immediate effects 
of the poison, it seemed to her for a time that such 
was to be her fate; for while perfectly retaining her 
consciousness, she was utterly unable, by word or 
movement, to show any signs of life, and even seemed 
to herself to have ceased to breathe. She said after- 
wards, that at this time she realized very vividly the 
possibility of being supposed to be dead, and of being 
shut up in a coffin, and placed in the dark grave, 
with her consciousness remaining as vivid as ever \ 
but she was not frightened or troubled, for she felt 
that the presence of Jesus would sustain her, even 
there. 

"TswEDELLE, Dec. 2, 1862 — 3d day." 
"My Own Dear Carrie : 

* * * '* Mother told thee, I believe, that I had 
another ill turn on 5th day evening. I very fool- 
ishly over-exerted myself, and brought on a bad 
headache and chill, accompanied by some of the old 
symptoms, which left me weak. Yesterday I came 
out into the sitting-room for the first time, but did 
little but lie still on the sofa. To-day I am better — 
that is stronger, but have a very bad headache; don't 
know that I ought to write, but am quite tired of 
doing nothing. These neuralgic headaches make 
me sometimes a little cast down, because I have to 
sit still in a world so full of action ; but it is very 
wrong, and in the depth of my heart I do love to 
have Him do with me just what He pleases. 



I 



178 ON THE ROCK: ^.t. 23, 

* * * ''I must tell thee before I go any fur- 
ther how much pleased they were at the B- 



Home (the home where she had placed Earnest) with 
the things we took them; the fruit of our 'sewing 
bee,' one week long. My zeal for making things 
for the children increased tenfold ; indeed the more 
you do, the more you want to do. We took them 
over a royal Thanksgiving feast — cakes, apples, &c. 
H. B. entirely lost her heart over a dear little girl 
named Mary, and a dear little Lizzie has haunted my 
dreams ever since. She is a new-comer, entirely 
friendless, only thirteen months old, and as sweet a 
looking child as you ever saw. They all enjoyed the 
good things so much. 

*'I have been thinking we have been very zealous 
getting their bodies something to wear; now it is, 
I am convinced, necessary to the proper develop- 
ment of their characters that they should have some- 
thing beside their little thin fingers to play with. 
Children learn as much through their bright picture- 
books and playthings as we do from our books. I 
have not been able to sleep, thinking of my different 
plans for, in some degree, filling this want. Just 
think of Frank shut up in a big square room, with- 
out 'Lu Lee' or the bag of spools, or blocks, or 
in fact anything for his active little fingers to busy 
themselves with ; no chairs even, to put together for 
*chu chu cars,' only long benches to sit on. Now 
Christmas is coming, and I am determined they shall 
have some Christmas beside eatables. I do not believe 
there is a doll in the whole establishment. I am going 
to buy and dress some, but my capacity for rag babies 
is, I fear, very small, and rag dolls are just the best 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 1 79 

things. Christmas is near at hand j we must be up 
and doing. 

''I can't make up my mind which would be the 
nicest way of giving the things — to take them over 
on Christmas day, or before, and have the rows of 
stockings hung up on Christmas eve, and found full 
next day when they get up. An apple, a little candy, 
cakes, and one plaything — doll, or book, or some- 
thing of the kind — would fill a stocking.* Dear little 
things ! They need home pleasures to look back 
upon. * * * 

** My last visit to the city was of great use to me. 
Our talk about the guidance of the Holy Spirit stirred 
me up very much, and I have enjoyed more direct 
communion than for a long time past. It is a very 
sweet thing to feel that we have, absolutely have. His 
guidance about even little things. Every step ought 
to be guided sensibly by Him j that is, we can and 
ought to be sure that this minute we are doing the 
exact thing that He wishes us to do. * * * 

*'I inclose H 's letter; do send it back to me; 

but first get all the good out of it thou can ; it is 
lovely. Since I have received it I have been praying 
that prayer ['That Christ may dwell in our hearts by 
faith, that we, being rooted and grounded in love, 

■^ A Christmas tree was finally decided upon for the children 
at the Home, and a noble one it was, reaching to the ceiling, and 
loaded with cakes, apples, tarlatan bags of candy, dolls, and bril- 
liantly colored picture books ; while at its foot lay wheelbarrows, 
wagons, and other toys, enough to gladden the hearts of these 
little friendless ones, who were seldom, after that, forgotten by 
her at Christmas. Little Earnest shared largely in these gifts 
from " Aunt Alice." 



I So ON THE ROCK: ^T. 23. 

may be able to comprehend with all saints what is 
the breadth, and length, and depth, and height, and 
to know the love of God, which passeth knowledge, 
that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God,' 
Eph. iii. 17-19], and have had such glorious views 
of Christ's love, that I feel almost afraid to mention 
it, lest I should tread on holy ground. I had no idea 
that He loved me so much as I am now sure He 
does, and I am very sure I never enjoyed loving Him 
so much. I feel as though I love Him with all my 
heart, but I am afraid I don't act as though I do. 
May the Lord help us to acknowledge Him in all 
our ways ! ' ' 

"TswEDELLE, December 3, 1862. 
*' My Own Darling Sister Annie: 

* * * <' Father and mother have gone to 

G , and I have settled myself down for a cozy 

day all by myself. I am lying on the sofa — a pecu- 
liar position for writing — in the sitting-room, and 
pussy blue, my only companion, is curled up by the 
flue. 

" My heart turns toward thee in loving thoughts 
while I lie so still. For the last week I have had to 
keep to the bed or sofa most of the time, and it gives 
me a great deal of time to think. I have been parti- 
cularly blessed with a sense of the presence of Jesus, 
and have enjoyed His love wonderfully. How sweet 
it is, and how much better than anything else ! And 
it makes us feel our sinfulness and unworthiness more 
than anything else, does it not ? I have enjoyed a 
fuller understanding of what it means to be ' brought 
nigh' by the blood of Jesus than ever before. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. l8l 

Strange how words fall on our ears and we do not take 
in their meaning until, at last, the Holy Spirit shines 
down their full import into our hearts. I have been 
wondering how it is that we feel in our hearts that 
we love Him so much, and yet our lives show forth 
so little of that love. I am sure I feel as though I 
love Him better than ever I did before, and with my 
whole heart, fervently ; yet dozens of times a day do 
I forget, and do what does not please Him. Do pray 
for me, dear Annie, that my life may tell forth to Him 
that I love Him." 

"TswEDELLE, December 28, 1862. 
'* My Dearest Annie : 

* * * ''Thou asks if the neuralgia has been 
increasing on me. I had more of it almost immedi- 
ately after my return home in September, but I do 
not know that it has increased much since then, only, 
as I have not been quite so strong since my accident, 
I have suffered more. But enough about my health. 
I am well enough to consider it an insult to be called 
an invalid, although I take the petting with a very 
good grace. 

"The sweet season of Christmas has passed. I 
have been wondering how it passed with you. I 
know that to thee it brought sweet thoughts of Jesus. 
How did Charley and Annie spend it ? I never had 
so much of the fun of Christmas before. We had a 
right merry time, and enjoyed fixing Frank a tree 
very much. Father said we were like so many grown 
up babies. Frank thoroughly entered into the plea- 
sure. I wish thou could have seen his dear little face 
as he walked round and round the tree, pointing up 
16 



l82 ON THE ROCK: ^.t. 23. 

with his fat little finger, first to one thing, and then 
to another, asking his stereotyped question, ' What's 
ems?' " 

** MiLLViLLE, Jan. 18, 1863. 
''Dears : 

* * * ''The love of Jesus is what we shall feast 
on in eternity. We may imagine what a glorious 
feast it will be, since the little glimpses we have of it 
here are so indescribably sweet. I long to know 
more of it, and who can tell what depths of His 
love, if we ask earnestly and constantly. He may not 
show us? 

* * * ''I long to love the will of God, and to 
have it for my treasure; and it is so sweet, is it not, 
to know that this is His wish also? ' This is His will, 
even your sanctification. ' I believe He rates a man's 
sanctification (in the sense of growth in grace) by the 
degree in which He sees that his will is subjected to 
God's will. It is our will that He looks at, for it is 
the mainspring to our actions. If He sees that our 
will is always unreservedly to do His will, and to 
have His will done in us, and by us, and through us, 
He will look very leniently upon our external per- 
formance of it. How much, how very much we must 
grieve Him by withholding from Him this simple 
constant desire to do His will. ' ' 

"TswEDELLE, Feb. 9, 1863. 
''My Dears : 

* * * "It is not for external or glaring sins 
that He most chides His children, but for a wander- 
ing of heart, a turning away from Him, a seeking of 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 183 

pleasure or satisfaction in the world instead of in 
Him. 'Where your treasure is, there will your heart 
be also.' Jesus is the centre. We have life and 
peace only because we are in Him, and when our 
heart and mind cease to revolve around Him as the 
One most to be desired, and altogether lovely, we 
lose our strength and are in a position of most immi- 
nent danger. Jesus has said, ' I am the vine, ye are 
the branches, without me ye can do nothing.' Every 
moment the sap must continue to flow from the parent 
stalk through every leaf and fibre. If it is inter- 
rupted, the leaves wither and die, unless the obstacle 
be removed, and the union between the branch and 
the vine become again a practical reality. Just so it 
is when the communion with the great Source of our 
life and strength is interrupted, our spiritual life be- 
gins to ebb away, our strength and all our heavenly 
peace is gone, and Satan, taking advantage of our 
position, redoubles his efforts to reign in our hearts. 
Satan is strong and we are helpless, but there is One 
mightier than he. If you will be like the little shell- 
fish clinging to the mighty rock, all the storms, all 
the powers of earth and of darkness, cannot hurt you. 
Your danger is when your clasp of Him is loosened. ' ' 

To M. M. J. 

" MiLLViLLE, March 22, 1863. 

* * * *'I cannot tell you, dear M , how 

glad, unspeakably glad, I am that you have been 
blessed by the realization of the nearness of Jesns. 
It is just the thing we want, for if we have Jesus near 
us, all else goes right. I, too, have been richly 



1 84 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 23. 

blessed lately by a sense of His presence, and I long, 
darling, that we should live near to Him all the time. 
I am sure we can do it, and I think we want to; why, 
then, should we not ? Surely He does not withdraw 
His spirit from us, for He says, 'Lo, I am with you 
alway, even unto the end of the world.' And again, 
in the i6th chapter of John, He says, 'If a man love 
me he will keep my words, and my Father will love 
him, and we will come unto him and make our abode 
with him.' Oh, I am praying that I may not grieve 
that Holy Presence away from my heart. He can 
teach us how to live very close to Him, and give us 
the strength to do it; and, moreover. He has promised 
that if we ask, we shall receive. We want more faith 
and earnestness in asking. 

*'If this is life, to know the only true God and 
Jesus Christ whom He has sent, is it not growth to 
know more and more of Him? I am thoroughly 
stirred up to pray for it, and I think I am receiving 
gradually sweeter and sweeter, closer and closer 
knowledge of His love, and the best of it is that the 
deepest draught of His love is only a taste, for what 
infinite depths are there which no human being has 
ever fathomed ? 

"I am having such an interesting visit with Carrie. 
There has been a great revival here. Hundreds of 
the most careless seem to be roused earnestly to in- 
quire the way of salvation ; and very many, I really 
believe, have passed from the old life into the new. 
* * * Carrie and I have had the privilege of talking 
to quite a number of these .inquirers, and we have 
indeed found it a blessed field of labor, they are so 
glad to hear the 'glad tidings.' Several very inte- 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 185 

resting cases have come under our observation, and 
made our hearts thoroughly enlisted in the work. 
This has made me lengthen my visit considerably, 
for I feel that such openings ought not to go unim- 
proved. There has also been a great interest mani- 
fested in the Sunday-school; quite a number have 
made a profession in the Methodist church, and 
others seem desirous of becoming Christians. We 
have been visiting them in their homes, and, as is 
naturally the case, the more we do, the more opens 
before us to be done. Our time is thoroughly occu- 
pied, for, besides our out-of-door duties, we are very 
much interested in studying the Scriptures together." 

Dear Alice always seemed to find work for the 
Master wherever she went ; but especially at Millville, 
a wide field of labor opened before her among the 
families of the workmen on the place, and those con- 
nected with the Sabbath-school. 

She was very sympathetic and loving in her ways, 
and the poor and sick always rejoiced to see her 
coming to their homes, more for her kind and gentle 
words of sympathy and comfort than for the delica- 
cies or necessaries of which she was so often the 
bearer. She never liked to go empty-handed to visit 
the poor, for she often used to say, '^a half pound 
of tea or some sugar opens the heart wonderfully to 
receive the gospel." Many a poor woman has re- 
ceived some article of clothing or a nice bonnet, 
made by her busy fingers, to enable her to go to 
church. She would speak most faithfully to them, 
too, of their soul's best interests, for she never seemed 

16* 



1 86 ON THE ROCK: mt. 23. 

to feel any fear or false delicacy in a matter which 
she felt to be of so much importance. 

Once when visiting with her sister a sick jjerson, 
they found with him another young man, a neighbor. 
He seemed perfectly indifferent when Alice spoke to 
him of the importance of having his sins forgiven and 
washed away in the blood of Jesus ; but she, seeing 
his hardened state, and the uselessness of talking to 
him unless the Holy Spirit took her words home to 
his heart, kneeled down, and in the most earnest 
manner besought God to open his eyes to behold his 
own sinfulness, and his utterly lost and undone con- 
dition without a Saviour. The man seemed entirely 
overcome, and was melted to tears ; but it remains 
for that last great day to reveal whether the word 
spoken brought forth fruit unto eternal life. 

She was also a great help in the Sabbath-school. 
It was always opened with singing, and the reading 
of a portion of Scripture followed, which was gene- 
rally the subject of a few remarks, or a short address. 
When Alice was present she used often to speak to 
the children. Her sister writes, ^'I never shall for- 
get the day she took the cleansing of the leper as her 
subject. She brought out the type most beautifully, 
and the words of our Saviour — ' I will, be thou clean' 
— never seemed so precious to me before." She 
was very fond of the typical teaching of the Old 
Testament Scriptures. The burning of the leprous 
garment (sin in the flesh), and the law of the Nazarite 
(a separation within a separation) were with her, to a 
great extent, practical realities, and having thus re- 
ceived their teaching into her heart, they came from 
her lips with twofold power. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 187 

"TSWEDELLE, April 30, 1 863. 

*'Dear Friend : 

* * * *' It is hard for our natural hearts always 
to realize of how very little importance all earthly 
things are compared with spiritual ; but I am sure 
that the more we grow in grace and in the knowledge 
of the Lord Jesus, the more we shall realize that ' the 
things that are seen are temporal, while the things 
that are not seen are eternal.' A man on important 
business to a foreign land cares little for the trials 
and inconveniences of the way, for he thinks, . ' Ah, 
if I only accomplish the end for which I came, it 
will be worth all, and far more !' The thought of 
settling himself down in ease and comfort in the 
pleasantest village he can find there, never enters his 
mind, for he has not started out for pleasure, but is 
intent on some earthly object, and is in a hurry to do 
his work, and go home with a fortune, perhaps. If 
the scales of earthly-mindedness were withdrawn 
from our eyes, we should live in the realization that 
our position is like that of such a man. This world 
is, in truth, a strange land to us, for our citizenship 
is in heaven — ^our mission here is not enjoyment, al- 
though true joy, like many other things, is oftenest 
found when we seek it not. 

" Our mission here is to do the will of our Father 
who sent us, and to accomplish the work which he 
has given us the privilege or honor of doing for Him, 
whether it leads us into pleasure or pain. Surely our 
glorious mission should be a far more powerful mo- 
tive to self-denying exertion than the desire -for riches 
or any temporal good. 

"I am glad that you have been thinking about our 



1 88 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 23. 

heavenly calling, for I know it will make the rough 
way easy to you, especially if you add to the realiza- 
tion of this great truth the constant remembrance of 
the sufficiency of Jesus, our strength, for all things 
whereunto we are called. 

' Jesus, my strength, my hope, 
On Thee I cast my care.' 

How little we appreciate what He would be to us if 
we would only let Him. I often think of what Ryle 
says, somewhat in these words: 'Why will ye remain 
hungry, when there is such a rich feast of the living 
bread spread on purpose for you ? Why grow faint 
from thirst, and refuse to take but a few drops from 
the living Fountain ? Are you poor ? It is because 
you will take a few pence only from your boundless 
treasury in heaven, from whence you might draw the 
endless treasures of grace.' I do not pretend to 
quote him word for word, but the thought seemed to 
me to be a striking one. 

''What lovely promises those are you spoke of; they 
have often comforted me, particularly that one, ' Call 
upon me in the day of trouble and J will deliver 
thee, and thou shalt glorify me. ' 

"Since I last wrote you I have been to the ' Border 
Land.' I have stood on the very brink of the river 
of death, but it was not my Heavenly Father's will 
that I should yet pass into the glories above ; so I 
have returned to the battle of life, stronger and 
better, I hope, for that glorious experience of the 
power of Jesus to support in a dying hour. * * * 
In looking back, it seems to me that one reason why 
the Lord spared my life may be that I may testify to 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 189 

others of the power of the gospel, of Jesus to support 
one of the weakest and most unworthy worms of the 
dust in the face of a sudden and most frightful 
death. More than ever before did I realize the deep 
meaning of the words, 

* Nothing in my hand I bring, 
Simply to Thy cross I cling.' 

Oh there is no use in our trying to be worthy of eter- 
nal life; if we receive it, it must be as a free gift — 
freely given in mercy for Christ's sake, and not be- 
cause of anything in us, or which we can do. * * * 
It seems to me that to live aright in order to get to 
heaven is deeply dishonoring to Jesus, and spoils 
all acceptableness of such service, for the motive is 
more than the work in God's sight. , 

''Our Lord certainly gives us strong enough motives 
to a holy life without this, and if they are not suffi- 
cient for us, then indeed is the loss our own. I think 
the Scriptures plainly teach us that there is an abun- 
dant recompense of reward given unto all those who 
will serve Him in sincerity ; and that those who will 
not be obedient shall suffer loss both here and here- 
after. We are not told that the reward is a title to 
heaven, for we can only enter there by the blood of 
Jesus ; or that the loss that the unfaithful child sustains 
(who, remember, is still a child, though a naughty one) 
is the forfeiting of heaven. In i Cor. iii. 11-15, it 
says, ' Other foundation can no man lay than that is 
laid, which is Jesus Christ ;' but ' if any man build on 
this foundation, gold, silver, precious stones, wood, 
hay, stubble, every man's work shall be made mani- 
fest,' for ' the fire' (which in the Scriptures is often used 



IQO ON THE ROCK: j^i. 23. 

to symbolize the judgments of God) ' shall try every 
man's work of what sort it is. If any man's work 
shall abide he shall receive a reward. If any man's 
work shall be burned he shall suffer loss; but he 
himself shall be saved, yet so as by fire.' You will 
notice that the foundation was the same in all these 
cases, so an entrance to heaven was alike sure to all, 
for they all were redeemed children ; but when it 
speaks of their works there was a vast difference, as 
great as between hay or stubble and precious stones, 
so great is the difference in the rewards. 

*'I have been looking out some of the promises 
given to obedient children, and they are just per- 
fectly sweet, and make me feel as though I would be 
willing to do or suffer anything to be obedient. 
Take for instance the 21st and 2 2d verses of the 
fourteenth chapter of John. If we have ever tasted 
the heavenly joy of communion with Jesus ; if we 
have ever known what it is to have the sensible reali- 
zation of His being very near to us, then indeed we 
will feel that to have Him come in and abide with us 
is the richest reward He could possibly offer. 

^'We all know how far we feel from God when 
disobedient, and sin is sure to rob us of all our en- 
joyment in religion here, and, doubtless, if habitu- 
ally indulged in, will materially lessen our capacity 
for enjoying the eternal glories of heaven. 

''Have you ever noticed that there are blessings 
promised, not only to those who obey, but to those 
who have his commandments? I have been much 
struck with this ; for are there not few comparatively 
who take the pains to study, and have clearly before 
their minds each and all of the commands given to 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 19 1 

Christians in the New Testament ? I have com- 
menced to read it through, with the idea of picking 
them all out and learning them, and I am astonished 
at finding so many which I have never before looked 
at in the light of commands ; for instance, ' Fear ye 
not, therefore, for it is your Father's good pleasure 
to give you the kingdom.' I always looked upon 
this as a very comforting assurance, but I did not 
realize that the ' Fear ye not' was just as much a 
command as 'Love your enemies.' It is a great 
thing to be on the lookout for the imperative mood ; 
we shall find it oftener than we think. * Comfort ye 
one another with these words' (i Thess. iv. 16-18) 
is another text I never thought of as a command, and 
so I have never tried to comfort any one with those 
words. I could not be said to have that command, 
for I never recognized it as such. So it is with 
many other words of our Lord, and I am convinced 
that the loss we sustain in not having His commands 
is only second to our loss in not obeying them. 

''The first thing to be done in this most impor- 
tant and interesting search after truth, is to make up 
your mind that, with all the strength God gives, you 
are going to obey every command you find there, 
no matter how hard or even unreasonable it may 
seem to the natural man; believing that as we think 
God means to do exactly what He promises, and 
wishes us to take Him at His word, even so when He 
commands. He wishes us to take Him at His word 
in the same simple way, and really to do what He 
tells us to do. When this step is taken, the next 
difficulty we meet is to decide which commands are 
spoken to His disciples, only to be acted on at that 



192 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 23. 

particular time, and which apply to all Christians. 
This at first seems hard ; but prayer and a little medi- 
tation will always bring us to a conclusion on each 
text as it comes ; for surely God gives us our guide 
book in order that we may know His will, not in 
order to hide it from us. I find great benefit in tak- 
ing each command and making it a subject of prayer 
that I may be taught just what it means, and be made 
to keep it in just the sense in which it was given. We 
ought also to pray that we may learn to love each 
one, and keep it gladly as a privilege, and not merely 
as a duty. 

* * * < < May He ever encircle you in His ever- 
lasting arms, and keep you from all evil, drawing you 
closer and closer to Himself ! ' ' 

To M. M. J. 

"TswEDELLE, May, 1863. 

** My Dear Little M : 

* * * *'I long to see you so much; what nice 
talks we will have, and how delightful the thought of 
studying the Bible together once more ! I never 
enjoyed studying it so much as I have lately. I am 
making such a nice text-book on all different points 
of doctrine. I find the texts and put them together, 
and it brings every subject out so beautifully. You 
must begin one when you come, for I am sure you 
will like it, and I have felt that a real blessing has 
rested on mine. 

' ' My Heavenly Father has led me through some 
very interesting experiences, about which I have some- 
times longed to sit down and tell you, but I know 
that a quire of paper would not contain half. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 193 

* * * ''My heart re-echoes your longing. It 
will indeed be a glorious time when we shall lose our 
vile bodies, and be free from sin. My longing to be 
rid of sin increases every day, for I feel so constantly 
that it is the only thing between us and God. How 
sweet that we constantly have that washed away in 
the blood of Jesus, and so there is really nothing left 
to separate us from Him in spirit. But, oh, the 
treachery of our nature ! I often think of what some- 
body says, that no matter how slight the sin, or how 
transient the foolish thought that we indulge in, it as 
completely shuts us out from communion with God, 
for the time, as a greater sin." * * * 




17 



CHAPTER X. 




HE following letter was written to a young 
girl who had been spending a week or two 
with Alice : — 



"TswEDELLE, July 20, 1863. 
*' My Dear Friend : 

* * * *'I cannot tell thee how much I long 
that thou shouldst have that settled confidence toward 
God which will make thee sure at all times that He 
has redeemed thee, and ' blotted out as a thick cloud 
thy transgressions,' for in this way canst thou best 
honor and please Him. ' He that believeth hath set 
to his seal that God is true.' Thou wilt remember 
that the first sin that came into the world was unbe- 
lief. Before Eve disobeyed God by eating of the 
forbidden fruit she doubted his word. Satan told 
her, ^Ye shall not surely die,' and she believed what 
he said rather than what God had said. First, she 
lost her faith in God's love towards them [in denying 
them what seemed to her good for them], then, after 
thus doubting His love, she was ready to doubt His 
truth, and the natural consequence of this was dis- 
obedience. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 195 

''Thus the first sin was- unbelief, and in God's su- 
preme ordering, faith, or belief, is the first thing in 
the sinner which He can impute to him as righteous- 
ness. (Rom. iv. 16-25.) The natural mind cannot 
realize the exceeding sinfulness of unbelief toward 
God, or the blessedness of faith in Him, but ' His 
ways are not our ways, nor His thoughts our thoughts, ' 
for He tells us in the Scriptures that unbelief is the 
condemning sin. (John. iii. 18, 36 ; John. viii. 24, 
46; John xvi. 9; I John v. 10.) And again, that 
* He that believeth on the Son hath eternal life, and 
shall not come into condemnation.' But it is of great 
importance to remember that our faith, apart from its 
object, has neither value nor existence. It is what 
we believe in, that makes our faith valuable, and the 
ground on which we believe it, that determines its 
stability. 

''And what is it that the sinner must believe? 
Simply that Jesus is the Christ, and that He died to 
save sinners, and that he himself is a sinner. (Acts 
xiii. 38, 39; I Tim. i. 15; i John v. i.) If he 
believes God's testimony concerning Christ — and 
either we do believe it or we do not : there is no 
middle place between faith and doubt — if he believes 
this, then God says of him that ' he is justified' — he 
' hath everlasting life' — he ' shall not come into con- 
demnation' — but that he ' is passed from death unto 
life' — and to doubt this is to make God a liar, (i 
John V. 10, II.) Christ is the Saviour; faith only 
apprehends Him. Do not try to find out whether 
thou hast faith — look at Jesus, not at thy faith. If we 
want to know whether we can see, we look at some- 
thing; we do not begin to feel our eyes, or go to the 



196 ON THE ROCK: yKT. 24. 

doctor to have them examined. So it is with faith ; 
if uncertain whether we ever believed, no matter, let 
us believe now. The Bible says, ' He that believeth' 
— not did believe or will believe, but he that believ- 
eth — 'hath' — not did have or will have, but * hath 
eternal life.' It is Jesus, not our faith. Remember 
when a beggar comes to take the bread you offer, 
•it is the loaf he looks at, not his hands which he 
stretches out to receive it. Hold, dear friend, ' the 
beginning of thy confidence steadfast unto the end,' 
for so are we made partakers of Christ. (Hebrews 
iii. 14.)" 

"TsWEDELLE, August 4, 1863. 
«*My DearB. C : 

*' I cannot tell you how much we have thought of 
you since the dreadful riot in your city (New York). 
* * * I feared lest it might be too much for your 
poor body, even if your house was preserved from 
fire or the depredations of the mob. 

''As for your spirit, I felt sure you would be able 
to say with the Psalmist, ' In the time of trouble He 
shall hide me in His pavilion ; in the secret of His 
tabernacle shall He hide me ; He shall set me upon 
a rock. And now shall mine head be lifted up above 
mine enemies around about me ; therefore will I offer 
in His tabernacle sacrifices of joy ; I will sing, yea, 
I will sing praises unto the Lord.' * * * 

'' I have been enjoying the last part of the 4th 
chapter of 2d Corinthians so much lately. * Our light 
affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us 
a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 
while we look not at the things that are seen, but at 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 197 

the things that are not seen, for the things that are 
seen are temporal, but the things that are not seen 
are eternal.' I never noticed until lately how the 
whole sentence hangs on that 'while we look,' for 
we know that sorrow and affliction do not always 
work for us a far more exceeding weight of glory, 
and this explains how it is. If we look at the seen 
thing, which is the affliction, it crushes us down to 
earth, but if we keep our eyes fixed upon the unseen 
thing, which is God's love in sending it, and power 
to support us through it, then it worketh for us a far 
more exceeding weight of glory. It has been very in- 
teresting to me to notice how everything in this world 
has a seen side and an unseen side to it. The seen 
side we look at with the eye of flesh, while the 
unseen side is only beheld by the eye of faith. 
Death, to the eye of flesh, is terrible and appalling, 
but faith sees that it is only the gate to heaven." * * * 

To M. M. J. 

"TswEDELLE, Oct. 8, 1863. 



'* My Dear Little M : 

* * * ' ' I am so glad that you have been blessed 
by a fresh outpouring of the Spirit of the Lord. 
How these heavenly glimpses of His beauty and His 
nearness strengthen and reanimate us for the fight ! 
It is indeed sweet to feel the lovely robe of Christ's 
righteousness wrapped about us, and when we realize 
it thus, what presumption and folly all our former 
efforts appear to pin some of the rags of our own 
righteousness on to this perfect mantle ! 

^'I have been trying to make that idea of Madame 
Guion, about having the will of God for our treasure, 

17* 



198 ON THE ROCK: N.-Y, 24. 

a practical matter, and I find it very sweet. If it is 
our treasure, no trial nor trouble nor sorrow can rob 
us of it. No circumstance but has its sweetness, 
though to the natural eye it seems most trying. * * 

*'I cannot begin to tell you what nice times we 
have with Annie and the children : they are too sweet 
to speak of; particularly Master Thomas Frederick, 
a young gentleman of eleven months old, perfect in 
form, feature, and behavior, the very most playful, 
sweetest, and cunningest little rogue that ever lived, 
and, best of all, he is quite devoted to his Aunt Alice. 
Annie expects to start for St. John day after to-mor- 
row, and I shall probably go as far as Boston with 
her. * * * 

*'And now I must close, although I have much 
more that I would like to say. "May our dear Lord 
draw us both very close to Himself in the path of 
self-abandoning obedience. How I long to live 
nearer and stiir nearer to Him each day!" 

** TSWEDELLE, Nov. 28, 1 863. 

*' My Dear Carrie . 

* * * "I arrived at home last Second day, 
after a most interesting and delightful visit at Brook- 
lyn. I sincerely hope it will be blessed. 

* * * ''I am sorry to hear of thy perplexities, 
but it will no doubt be all arranged as is best. Is it 
not a comfort to feel that our Lord's hand is in the 
every-day matters of life? I am sure that if we do 
not believe in His having the arrangement of these, 
it is folly to think that He arranges anything for 

*' I am enjoying the subject of the 'second coming' 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 199 

very much. I have gone back to my old plan of 
taking an hour every day for reading and devotion, 
and I find the greatest comfort in it. We cannot be 
healthy and strong on little snatches of spiritual food, 
any more than we can on just little bits of earthly 
food taken irregularly, instead of our meals. Do let 
us watch and pray against the temptation to push our 
time for devotion into a corner. Satan is so subtle 
and our hearts are so deceitful. * * * 

*' I had a very satisfactory talk with this morn- 
ing. His conversion seems like a real one; he re- 
joices in the full assurance of faith, and says life and 
the Bible seem new to him. * * * 

*'I want to come down and see thee very much, 
but I really think I cannot until just before Christmas. 
I have so much that must be done. Poor little Ear- 
nest has nothing but his blue merino dress and some 
light calicoes. He is here on a visit now. Last 
Thursday was Thanksgiving-day, and we drove over 
to the Home, to take them some thanksgiving. We 
gave each child a red apple and a cake, besides 
some other substantial which we left for them. We 
brought Earnest home with us, as I wanted to fix up 
his clothes. He is a dear little fellow, as good as a 
kitten. He calls me 'Aunt Alice' nicely now, and 
often comes up during the day for a kiss. He is so 
affectionate, I am really enjoying him. * * * I pray 
that the Lord will make him a good Christian man, 
and then, whatever becomes of him, he will live to 
the glory of God, and that is all I want. But I must 
not spend the time talking about him when I ought 
to be sewing for him. 

''It is quite too bad that I should write a long 



200 ON THE ROCK: i€T. 24. 

letter like this and not one word about the things in 
which we are most interested. I will give thee a text 
from Psalm xxxii. 8, 9, a sweet promise which I have 
been enjoying: 'I will instruct thee and teach thee 
in the way that thou shalt go, I will guide thee with 
mine eye. Be ye not as the horse or as the mule, 
which have no understanding, whose mouth must be 
held in with bit and bridle.' What a loving appeal 
to our spiritual nature ! My heart goes up in earnest 
prayer that both thou and I may be guided by His 
loving eye, and not make it necessary for Him to 
drive us with his chastening rod." 

" TSWEDELLE, Dec. 1 863. 

'^My Own Precious Sister Carrie: 

* * * " I have been as fully occupied this week 
as ever. I had such a refreshing day last Sabbath. 
Nothing outward, but a refreshing outpouring of the 
Spirit in my soul. How wonderful a thing is com- 
munion with God ! It seems too glorious for such 
sinful mortals as we, but still we do taste it sometimes. 
How different everything looks when we see it from 
God's point of view! Of how little consequence do 
all earthly things appear, and how sweet to yield our- 
selves to His care and guidance ! Oh, to live always 
so, would it not be sweet !" 

** TswEDELLE, Feb. 17, 1864. 

**My Own Darling H : 

''I have wanted inexpressibly to see or hear from 
thee, but I have been too sick to write, until within 
a few days. I was in bed for ten days, suffering 
most intensely, though not dangerously, and since 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 201 

then have been too tired and weak to do anything 
but sleep. 

*'I was so glad to get thy letter last evening, only 
it made me long to see thee, my precious sister 
cousin. 

''I felt disappointed at first about , but it only 

lasted for a moment, for it is so evidently of the 
Lord's arranging ; and when you once begin to 
rejoice in the Lord's will, because it is His will, you 
can't bear to lose the chance, can you? It is so 
sweet a pleasure. I would not say this to any one but 
thee, dearest, for it might imply to some that I 
thought my will broken ; but thou knows full well 
that subdued for the present is a very different thing 
from dead." * * * 

"TSWEDELLE, April, 1864. 

*^My Dears : 

* * * ''Oh, for real friendship we must not 
stop short of Jesus. There is none like Him. Why 
are we always seeking to rest in the hearts of our fel- 
low men ! I think one reason may be, that we do 
not have that realizing faith in His humanity that 
is our privilege. We are so apt to exalt the love 
wherewith Jesus loved us into something so high above 
our comprehension, that we cannot rest in it as we 
do in human love. Yet does He not love us with 
the fulness of a human heart, only perfectly pure 
and unselfish, and infinitely deeper and sweeter than 
anything in this world ever can be ? It seems to me 
that if we are really satisfied in Him, we shall be 
more thoroughly independent of our fellow men 
than we now even dream we could be." 



202 ON THE ROCK: ^T. 24. 

To M. M. J. 

" TswEDELLE, May 9, 1864. 
''My Dear M : 

* * * ''I have so much to say to you, darling, 
that I scarcely know where to begin. I have been 
thinking a great deal about you, and wanted to write ; 
but you know sometimes when the wish is strong 
the energy is lacking. * * * 

*' We have been having considerable company stay- 
ing with us, which is very engrossing, as, of course, 
some one had to be with them, and we had not very 
good servants. Then Carrie's nurse left her, and 
she had to pick up her baby and Frank and come 
up to look for one. She was here over a week, dur- 
ing which time the baby (Marion) was our constant 
care — ^just as sweet as she could be, but determined 
not to let us do much but pet her. Then came house- 
cleaning, that bugbear of all housekeepers ; and then 
all the vines had to be trimmed, and the gardening 
attended to, which, you know, takes time. I tell 
you all this that you may imagine a little how your 
friend has been occupied. 

''As for spring clothes, do not speak of them; the 
warm weather is down upon us, and I have not done 
a thing for myself, but am suffering in winter cloth- 
ing. One thing I am not behind hand in ; I believe 
I have Earnest almost all ready for summer. 

"S. S and I drove over to the "Home" on 

Saturday, and took him some things, and a dozen 
broad-brimmed straw hats, all lined and trimmed for 
the children to wear out in the sun. They were per- 
fectly delighted with them. Coming home we stopped 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 203 

on the Wissahickon at Kriesheim Creek, and walked 
to the *' Devil's Whirlpool." We had a lovely time. 
I thought of you, and gathered a few wild flowers, 
which I have put in press for you. I wish you could 
have enjoyed with us the exquisite beauty of the 
place. It is just like summer here, the trees so very 
green, and all the fruit trees in blossom, and the 
whole face of nature wearing such a full bloom. 

** And now, my darling, I have told you a little of 
external things ; what shall I say of spiritual ? My 
heart is full of much that I long to tell you, but a 
letter seems too short to attempt it. * * * j 
have been enjoying a piece of poetry about the ' Will 
of God ' so much. It expresses what it is — ^just to 
rest, like a little child, upon His will, and be satisfied. 
In one place it says: — 

' I run no risks, for come what will 
Thou always hast Thy way.' 

Is it not blessed to hold a position where we may 
feel that even in this uncertain world we run no risks? 

* * * ''My text is Heb. iv. 16: 'Let us 
therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace,' 
&c. Is it not sweet ?" 

" TswEDELLE, May 16, 1864. 
* * "I long to tell thee, dearest H- 



everything that interests me, but, after all, I have not 
much to tell. Of that matter about which we spoke 
when last together, nothing, only that the Lord is 
taking care of it, and I fully believe that He will 
make me, weak and sinful as I am, to do just His 
will about it. * * * 



204 ON THE ROCK: /et. 24. 

**God is so good. If it is His will that I should 
lie down, and let Him use his scourgeof small cords, 
I think I could not help lying still, for I do realize 
that He loves me so." * * * 

"TsWEDELLE, May, 1864. 

*' My Dear Sister Annie : 

" I have just come from down stairs, where I have 
been reading to our old cook. Poor old thing ! she 
cannot read, and she likes me to read to her so much. 
She is not a Christian, but I had a very solemn time 
with her this evening, over the fifty-fifth chapter of 
Isaiah. How lovely those words are, ^ Ho, every 
one that thirsteth.' It has seemed to me that they 
af)ply very often to my soul, for how often do we go 
empty and thirsty, when He is calling us to come and 
drink, to buy wine and milk without money and with- 
out price. How different is the wine which He gives 
from the wine of earthly joy which intoxicates ! We 
may well say, in the words of the Canticles, * Thy 
love is better than wine. ' 

*' Life seems to me such a solemn thing to-night. 
Perishing souls all around us, and Satan trying his 
best to lull us into forgetfulness of their great danger 
and our deep responsibility. But, oh, how sweet it 
is to feel that we rest on an everlasting arm which is 
about us, and a sovereign power that worketh for us, 
and in us. ' ' 

«*MiLLViLLE, June 3, 1864. 

'^ Dears : 

* * * *^ The steady, unchanging light of the 
Sun of Righteousness is a far better thing to reflect 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 205 

and bask in than any brightness of earth. A cloud 
may have dissipated the glow of earthly brightness 
even now from your spirit; but I know that the 
glory of the grace of God is, and ever will be, 
shining down in a flood of everlasting light upon your 
head. May no cloud of earth ever hide it from your 
eyes !" 

From this date very few family letters can be found. 
Those written by her during the succeeding two or 
three years, to her sister in St. John, do not seem to 
have been preserved, and the removal of her sister 
Carrie and family to the cottage at Tswedelle referred 
to in the following letter, brought them into daily 
companionship, thus removing the necessity of cor- 
respondence. 

To M. M. J. 

"Tswedelle, June 20, 1864. 
*' My Dear Little M : 

''Your letter received at Millville would have 
called forth an answer immediately, but that I have 
scarcely had time to breathe slowly since I came 
home. I had to finish some things in a great hurry 
for the Sanitary Fair, and then we have had a great 
deal of company, and, as I am the only young person 
at home, I drive them about, and entertain generally, 
which you know runs off with time wonderfully. 

* * * "That promise never wears out, 'All 

things work together for good,' and particularly when 

we lay all the arrangement of things on Him by faith, 

how can we ever doubt that He is managing for us ? 

18 



2o6 ON THE ROCK: >et. 25. 

To rest our will on His, is the sweetest thing on 
earth. I will copy a lovely hymn on this subject 
for you. I have learned it, and repeat it to myself 
continually, and do take such satisfaction in it that I 
want you to have it too.* 

* * * ''I have a piece of news to tell you. 
My sister Carrie is coming here to live. The old 
farm-house is being fixed up for them, and they ex- 
pect to move the first of July. Will it not be splen- 
did to have them so near ?" * * * 

Dear Alice's reference in the above letter to driv- 
ing her friends about, recalls many pleasant associa- 
tions. She always very much enjoyed showing her 
friends the beautiful country in the vicinity of her 
home, pointing out to them with animation, as they 
rode along, spots of interest or of especial beauty, 
while at the same time she managed a pair of horses 
with graceful ease, driving fearlessly, and yet care- 
fully, up and down the steep Pennsylvania hills, to 
the decided disquietude of some of her companions, 
who were quite unused to so fair and delicate a driver. 

Sometimes she would drive on an unfrequented 
road to a retired spot, and then, fastening her horses 
to a tree or a fence, lead the whole party through 
the woods in search of moss or wild flowers. 

A few miles from Tswedelle is Valley Forge, 
where Washington and his troops were quartered for 
many months, and where the earth-works thrown up 
by them are still to be seen. Here on one occasion 
Alice conducted a party of her young friends, and, 

* See Hymn, page 308. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 207 

selecting a wild and shady spot under the branches 
of an old pine tree, they spread upon a large flat 
rock a simple repast which they had brought with 
them. 

No earthly pleasure, however pure and simple, was 
fully enjoyed by Alice unless sanctified by the pre- 
sence of the Lord, and, at her request, before par- 
taking of their little feast, they rendered unto Him an 
offering by singing a hymn of praise. Scarcely had 
they finished when a drunken man appeared upon 
the scene, and approaching them familiarly, placed 
his bundle and jug upon the ground, and, seating 
himself beside them, asked the little group in rather 
incoherent tones for a song. Alice replied, '^We 
will sing for you if you will then go away and leave 
us." This condition appeared to make the man very 
angry, and he answered, in coarse and threatening 
language, that he would do just as he pleased about 
that. Alice felt frightened and worried, but, casting 
herself and friends upon the protecting care of her 
Heavenly Father, she began to sing 

** Guide me, oh thou great Jehovah," 

her friends joining in. As they proceeded it was 
most interesting to watch the softening of the ex- 
pression of his hard features. Perhaps the sacred 
strain touched a tender chord in his not utterly 
hardened heart, recalling some touching memories 
of childhood. Be that as it may, when they had 
finished he arose, and, with a gentle '^ thank you," 
took up his bundle and jug and proceeded quietly on 
his way. 



CHAPTER XL 



N the early part of 8th mo., 1864, Alice 
accompanied her brother-in-law and sister 
Carrie on a trip to the White Mountains, 

and St. John, N. B., of which the following letters 

speak. 




^ "Revere House, Boston, Aug. 8, 1864. 

^ * * <<j come again to talk with my little 

S , but it is not in the gray morning light on the 

steamboat, but under the brilliant chandelier of a 
brilliant drawing-room, in this dear old Yankee city. 
How entirely separate from the world does this make 
me feel ! I feel particularly to-night as a ' stranger 
and a pilgrim,' who has no part with the world in 
its vanities, for such sweet resf in Jesus is in my 
heart. How good of the Lord to give me this ! 

*' I pray that He may keep my eyes from turning 
to gaze upon earthly objects, for I know that just as 
truly as one look at Christ dispels the clouds of 
earth, j'us^ so one backward longing look dims the 
brightness I now see in the things which are eternal ! 

***'=' The disappointment is quite lost in 
the thought that He whom our soul loveth is having 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 209 

His way about it. Can we not say in little things, 
as well as great ones, ' God's will is sweetest yAx^n it 
triumphs at our cost?' I think we can." 

• "St. John Boat, 8th mo. i8th. 
** Dearest Mother : 

* * * rt Q^J. ^j-jp ^Q ^Q White Mountains was 
a perfect success. We had a most delightful time, 
and I do not like to think it is all over ; but I am 
sure I shall never forget those splendid views. Oh, 
they are grand ! more beautiful than anything I ever 
saw before. 

*' H seems to be enjoying himself very much, 

and it is no doubt doing him good. He and Frank 
are a pair, they do have such fun together. I think 
it has improved Frank very much ; he is not half 
the little mischief he was at home. He is a great 
amusement to persons we meet; he makes such 
old-fashioned speeches, and talks so wisely about 
matters and things. 

^' H and I went up Mount Washington on 

horseback from Crawford's. It was thoroughly en- 
joyable; not too warm on the way, nor too cold 
on top. The views going up were magnificent, but 
it grew misty toward the top, and we did not see 
much from its stormy summit but a sea of fog, with 
here and there a dim outline of a lofty mountain 
range, faintly shadowing forth what it would have 
been had it been clear. 

''I am very glad we ascended Mount Lafayette, 
and had such a fine view from there, as we were dis- 
appointed at Washington. 

*^ 8th mo. 2ist. Here we are safely in St. John 

18* 



2 TO ON THE ROCK: .tct. 25. 

after a most prosperous voyage from Portland. The 
sea was as smooth as a mill-pond, and we were none 
of us at all sick. 

* * * '* Annie was perfectly delighted to see 
us. Charley and Nan have changed very little, and 
as for * Toots' he is just as sweet and cunning as he 
can be. He calls Marion *baby,' but looks at her 
rather suspiciously when his mamma takes too much 
notice of her \ but on the whole seems to like her 
very much, and gives her 'um-a-num-a-nee,' as he 
calls water, out of his 'sil-cup,' of which he is very 
fond. 

*' Charley and Frank have splendid times together, 
and play in the nicest manner possible. Charley is 
a dear boy ; he is still as much of a comfort to his 
mother as ever. Frank too has had on his good cap 
ever since we started from home ; and as for May, she 
is as sweet as ever, and that is saying a great deal 
when it is old maid Aunty that speaks." 

"St. John, Aug. 21, 1864. 
*^ Dears : 

* * * "I have been praying much for you, 
that you may be kept moment by moment, and led 
step by step upward and onward. The hand that is 
leading the way can never fail nor make a mistake. 

I never so fully understood A. S 's piece, where 

she alludes to our journey, 

* Up the steep mountain side, 

Where we must follow, 
Slow where we fain would soar ; 
That step by step, thus onward, 
Our Guide must go before^ 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. VVHITALL. 2il 

until I saw the full force of the illustration in our jour- 
ney up the rugged and rocky sides of Washington and 
Lafayette. It is ^a slow thing/ as the guide re- 
marked, this climbing a steep mountain, and cannot 
be done in a minute ; but it is only a step at a time, 
after all, and the way is simj^le if you have a good 
guide with you, and do not turn to look backward 
and downward, and become dizzy, as I did seve- 
ral times, before I learned to look up^ and not be 
afraid. 

* * * ^' Indeed, there was much that was teach- 
ing to me in our journey, and much to enjoy, which 
I did not anticipate. The mountains are far more 
wonderfully grand and sublime than I expected, 
and speak so powerfully of the might and majesty of 
Him who created them with His word — of Him upon 
whose encircling arm we rest — that it was sweet to 
gaze and wonder and adore, while thinking of the 
love that made all this our own." 

*' St. John, Sept. 3, 1864. * * * The glorious rays 
of the ' Sun of Righteousness' indeed make glad the 
heart, and brighten the life, as no earthly sunshine 

ever can. Is it not strange, dear S , that we 

should ever hang our heads to earth, when there is 
always such brightness above to gaze upon and de- 
light ourselves in ? *■ Delight thyself in the Lord, and 
He shall give thee the desire of thy heart. Commit 
thy way unto the Lord : trust also in Him, and he 
shall bring it to pass.' 

'* That verse of A. L. Waring has been such a com- 
fort to me to-day, and has seemed so new — 



212 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 25. 

• Father, I know that all my life 

Is portioned out for me, 
And the changes that are sure to come 

/ do not fear to see. 
But I ask thee for a present mind 

Intejtt on pleasing thee? 

* * * ''If loneliness and heartaches did not 
come, the joy and peace of resting an aching heart 
upon Jesus never could come either." 

"TSWEDELLE, Nov. 1 864. 

''Dearest H : 

* * * "I am praying that the Lord will show 
me just what will please Him best, for that I want to 
^^ :ie * * I have experienced all the mortification 
of feeling myself looked upon as self-righteous and a 
religious fanatic. * * * Dear H , I do not be- 
lieve thee can understand how keenly I feel this mor- 
tification of the flesh, for to thee I do not believe it 
would be any trial at all ; but I am not like thee ; I 
do like to be thought well of, and, in short, to be 
respectable. However, it gives me a chance of bear- 
ing for the Lord's sake, and I do absolutely enjoy 
doing it for Him, more perhaps than if I felt it less. 
Surely heavenly strangers upon the earth should not 
have any fear of man. I can only trust the Lord to 
deliver me from it. 

* * * << yiy heart longs so for thee and thy 
strengthening influence. Satan is so strong and I am 
so weak ; but there is One who dwelleth in me who is 
all-sufficient, and I try to remember it, but we do 
love outward supports so much, at least my old nature 
does. 

"One thing I want to ask thee, whether thou thinks 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 213 

our Lord loves 'all His children alike, or whether He 
gives to those who walk with Him, in His fellowship 
and communion, a peculiar tenderness of affection. 
I have thought this was at least implied in some of 
the texts under our heading — * Peculiar blessings pro- 
mised to obedient children,' for instance, John xiv. 
21:' He shall be loved of my Father, and I will love 
him.' But the other day, when I suggested the 
thought, the person with whom I was speaking was 
shocked at the idea that God loves some of His chil- 
dreti more than others, and thought it entirely incon- 
sistent with the doctrine of free grace, which teaches 
us that God loves us freely, with a perfect love." 

''Dec. 3, 1864. * * * As for myself, all that I 
have been living upon is that same old 23d Psalm. 
'The Lord is my shepherd,' I say to myself many 
times a day. When we yield to His leadings, it is 
by still waters that He leadeth us, and into green 
pastures. ' ' 

"Feb. 8, 1865. * * * But, after all, as Luther 
says, 'God still reigns,' and God is God, and strange 
and dark and wrong as anything may seem to us, 
down in the depths of our hearts we know that He 
has done just what is right. And this is our only 
resting-place. God is all-powerful, and He cannot 
err. Our Bible tells us this j it says, ' He doeth 
according to His will in the army of heaven and 
amongst the inhabitants of the earth, and none can 
stay His hand, or say unto Him, What doest thou?' " 

"March, 1865. * * * i feel as though it would 



214 ON THE ROCK: ;f.t. 25. 

be all fixed by the same loving hand that never denies 
me anything I want, unless it is absolutely necessary. 
It is so sweet that He sympathizes with all our desires 
and longings, for He is human as well as divine, and 
He knoweth our frame. He remembereth that we are 
dust.' Then if he does deny us anything, we know 
that it was absolutely necessary for our good that He 
should do it." 

'^Sabbath morning. * * * j know that in 
many phases of our inner life we must fight and puf- 
fer alone: 'Fight and suffer alone^ did I say? I 
know you will understand what I mean, but I can- 
not let it stand unqualified, for it is too blessed a 
thought that we can never be alone — without Jesus. 

*'I have been feasting on that lovely passage this 
morning, * Neither life nor death, nor angels, nor 
principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor 
things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other 
creature, shall be able to separate us from the love 
of God, which is in Christ Jesus, our Lord.' These 
words came over me with as much freshness as if I 
had never heard them before. Oh, what an inex- 
pressible comfort it is to know that whatever comes, 
although the heart may ache, and the storms pass over 
our heads, yet nothing can rob us of the rest we have 
in Christ." 

"We rest in Christ, the Son of God, 

Who took the servant's form, 
His love is our abiding place, 

And refuge from the storm." 

"At peace with God, no ills we dread. 

In Christ is our repose ; 
Our life is hid with Him in God, 

Secure from all our foes." 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 215 



II 



Tswedelle, 1865. * * * What and if the 
world is dark ! This is not our home ; we are not 
here to enjoy the world. We come as pilgrims and 
strangers, in reality, and not only in song, to do His 
will who sent us, even as Jesus came to do His 
Father's will, and then ascended to joy above. That 
we cannot see anything pleasant before us and around 
us in life, ought not to discourage us, seeing it will 
not in the slightest degree make it harder to be 
entirely devoted to the service of God. On the con- 
trary, it will make it much easier to set our affec- 
tions on things above, and not on things on the 
earth!" 

In the early part of the 6th month Alice left home 
to visit some relatives in Brooklyn, and from there 
went to Newport. At each of these places she very 
much enjoyed attending some of the sittings of the 
New York and New England yearly meetings, then 
in session. 

♦* Brooklyn, June 10, 1865. 
** Dear Carrie : 

* * * < c Qjj ^^1^ -^g^y J went over to meeting in 
the morning. It was a meeting for worship, and a 
very interesting one. * * * After several ser- 
mons arose and spoke very sweetly, saying 

that she had been praying that the whole gospel 
might be preached that morning, the forgiveness of 
sins through a crucified Redeemer, as well as the 
bearing of the cross. Then followed a lovely prayer 
from some one I did not know, and then R. D. arose, 
and we did indeed have the glad tidings of the gospel 
preached. * * * 



2l6 ON THE ROCK: >f.t. 25, 

''I went in the afternoon to the regular Yearly- 
meeting, and was much edified ; the feeling of love 
and unity was so sweet. It only held three hours 
and a quarter ! I came home pretty tired, thou may- 
imagine, and found F and L. B here to see 

me. * * * 

**The next morning I went to see B. C , and 

found her daughter H 's little boy, just Marion's 

age, dying of cholera infantum. He was in his cradle 

close by B. C 's bed. He looked so sweet, and 

reminded me so much of baby Alice, that I could not 
take my eyes off from him. His dear little dimpled 
fat hands and soft light curls made me just realize, 
as I never did before, how we should feel if our little 
pet lamb were lying at the point of death. Do take 
especial care of her till I get back. I cannot tell 
thee how I long to see her; kiss her a dozen times 
for me, and tell her Aunt Alice is going to bring her 
something when she comes home. Ask her what she 
thinks it is ; a little white sugar lambie on a cake, 
won't that be nice ! " 

A peculiarly- tender tie existed between Alice and 
the little niece spoken of in the above letter. From 
her earliest infancy her Aunt Alice had claimed half 
the proprietorship of this little one, and her parents 
felt that their precious child was rich indeed in the 
wealth of affection thus lavished upon her, as well as 
in the sweet example daily before her in her *'own 
Aunt Alice," as she so often called her. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL, 217 

"New Bedford, June 14, 1865. 



'* My Dear S : 

** You see by the date I am at New Bedford. My 
visit to Newport is over, and seems most wonderfully 
like a dream. The beautiful views of grand old 
rocky shore, and grander ocean, the long avenue of 
splendid country seats, and the crowded hotel life, 
all seem unreal, and blend and run into one another, 
like the reflections on the surface of a rippled stream. 

" The life here seems very quiet by comparison, 
but none the less pleasant. This morning we have 
been reading aloud Gail Hamilton's last book, *A 
New Atmosphere. * I like what I have read of it very 
much. She says some things which I have at times 
fairly gasped to give utterance to, but never before 
had the satisfaction of seeing put in words. * * * 
Did you know that those who know her say she is a 
very religious character ? 

*' But enough of this. I want to tell you about my 
text for to-day. * This charge I commit unto thee, 
* * * that thou mightest war a good warfare, 
\io\^\ng faith ^ and a good conscience, which some hav- 
ing put away, concerning faith have made shipwreck. * 
I do not think I have ever sufficiently considered the 
subject of a good or clear conscience before, and it has 
come home very clearly to me to-day as being con- 
nected so closely with faith. Notice i John, iii. 21-23, 
how they are joined. A good conscience is a thing 
we always ought to, and might possess by faith, and 
still the fact which my heart is obliged to confess is 
that I do not always have it. I want to think and 
pray more about this subject, and understand it 
better." 
19 



2i8 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 26 

During the visit to Newport referred to in the above 
letter, Alice had some conversation, on her way to a 
First day school conference, with a gentleman to 
whom she had just been introduced. Finding that 
he was a First day school teacher, she spoke with 
much earnestness upon the objects of such teaching, 
and that nothing short of the conversion of his scho- 
lars should satisfy the teacher. She soon found that 
her companion had no settled confidence that his own 
sins were forgiven through the mercy of a crucified 
Redeemer, and she tried to set forth the gospel of 
the grace of God as fully as the time would allow. 
No other opportunity offered for conversing with 
him on the subject, but he was much laid on her 
heart in prayer, and after her return to Tswedelle 
she wrote him, inclosing a list of texts on this import- 
ant subject. The Lord opened his heart to receive 
the blessed truth which it was Alice's privilege thus 
to set before him, and after some correspondence, 
and further conversation on the subject at Tswedelle, 
he was enabled to rejoice in conscious acceptance 
with God through Christ his Saviour. 

In inclosing the following letter, he writes : — 

'* Many times since I first met Alice at Newport 
have I blessed God that He turned her steps toward 
New England. The recollection of my first acquaint- 
ance with her will ever remain the most impressive 
of any era in my life. * * * Never in my brief 
experience have I met with a person who could so 
forcibly and clearly state the great plan of redeeming 
love, as could that dear sainted girl. * * * She 
placed the truth as it is in Jesus so powerfully before 
my mind that eternity cannot efface it." 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 219 

" TSWEDELLE, July 12, 1 865. 

*'My Dear Friend: 

* * * *' It seems to me a fearfully solemn 
thing to be drifting down life's stream, with the ques- 
tion of our soul's position before God, wrapped in a 
mist of uncertainty ; for it is not uncertain whose we 
are, however we may feel about it, for there is no 
middle ground, no such thing as being ^partially a 
Christian.' We are either Christians, washed and 
accepted of God, through the blood of the Lamb — or 
else we are not Christians, not forgiven, not recon- 
ciled to God. 

*' Many, through unbelief or indifference, or a 
fearful educational error, settle down satisfied not to 
know where they stand. That it is not the will of 
our Heavenly Father that we should be in this state 
is plainly manifest. We are told, ' Examine your- 
selves whether ye be in the faith,' Again we are 
told in John, * These things I write unto you that 
believe on the name of the Son of God, that ye may 
know that ye have eternal life.' He does not say 
'that ye may hope some day to have it,' but * that ye 
may know that ye have eternal life.' 

**The realization, however, that it is not only our 
privilege but our duty to have an assured confidence 
toward God, does not lessen the feeling of the im- 
portance of having this confidence founded on some- 
thing which will stand the great judgment day. He 
who has a false hope is as badly off as he who has no 
hope at all. But, thanks be unto our Heavenly Father, 
He has made the true ground for confidence so plain 
and easy to be understood that a child may see it, 
and distinguish the difference between it and the false 



2 20 ON THE ROCK: J^i. 26 

as easily as he can see a difference between rock and 
sand. 

"Some persons imagine that their peace is made 
with God because they have dedicated themselves to 
Him. They have been roused to see the importance 
of their eternal interests, and have made up their 
minds to serve God with their whole strength, by the 
aid of the Holy Spirit, and therefore they think they 
have become Christians. But will this bear the test? 
Does God promise to save us because of our dedica- 
tion to His service, or to forget our past offences 
because of our good resolves for the future, even if 
these good resolves are not broken ? This confidence 
is not founded on Christ and His promises, but on 
our own efforts and the aid of the Holy Spirit. Such 
persons make our Lord Jesus Christ *a helper,* not 
*a Saviour.* But Jesus never promised to help any 
man to save himself. Such a thing would be a 
practical denial of His work of atonement finished 
eighteen hundred years ago. 

' * He does indeed proclaim that ' the gift of God is 
eternal life;' that He has paid the ransom money; 
that He has become *the Lamb of God that taketh 
away the sin of the world.* This is 'glad tidings* 
to the truly convicted one, who feels that he cannot 
do anything acceptable in the sight of an all-pure 
God, and that unless dealt with in pure mercy he 
can never be saved. It is by accepting what the 
Saviour has done for us, not by doing anything for 
Him, that we are to be saved. 

**It is the duty as well as the privilege of the 
Christian to make an intelligent surrender of himself 
to His Saviour, but it comes as the consequence, not 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 221 

the cause, of his conversion. Man would reverse 
God's order, which is salvation ^rj-/ and service after- 
wards. 

*'If we notice the 'therefores' of the New Testa- 
ment, we shall find that they are almost always an 
exhortation to earnestness in service, based on the 
possession of salvation. 'Ye are bought with a price, 
therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, 
which are His.' 

'*As an eminent Christian once said, 'We have 
nothing to do in order to be saved, but a great deal 
to do because we are saved.* " * * * 

* 

In the fall of this year Alice went to St. John, to 
visit her sister Annie. In relation to this visit she 
writes: — 

* * * ''I never remember having felt so badly 
at leaving home before, but after a while a strong 
feeling came over me that the Lord had some especial 
work to accomplish by me in this journey. I cannot 
tell you how sweetly and solemnly it came. Of course 
I do not know what, or when, or how; but it is sweet 
to know that though 

* I know not the way I am going, 
Yet well do I know my Guide.* 

Oh, that I may keep my hand close in His, and ever 
be on the watch-tower ! There is something so very 
sad in the thought that we may, if not watchful, let 
the opportunities God throws in our way of glorifying 
Him slip by unnoticed." 

19* 



222 ON THE ROCK: /et. 26. 

"St. John, Sept. 14, 1865. 
''My Dear S : 

* * * <<I would like to tell you about Thomas 

Frederick F , who has completely stolen my heart 

just now. He is the laughing little beauty and mis- 
chief of the family. I would not dare to begin to 
tell of the funny speeches he makes, or my last 
page would be gone before I knew it. He is very 
charming, but I do not feel that he takes the place 
of my little lambie Marion, they are so totally dif- 
ferent. * * * 

**I did not get any further than Salem in telling 
you cff our journey; yet that, to me, seems the 
smallest part of it. We went from there to Portland 
in the cars, and about five o'clock went on board the 
boat for St. John. The sun was just setting as we left 
the harbor, and the broad ocean spread out before 
us. Mother and I sat on the forward deck, admiring 
the clouds, which were glorious, and the rosy dream- 
land light, which added an unearthly beauty to the 
scene. 

*' While I watched, as I dearly love to, the soft line 
of the horizon where the sea and sky meet, broken 
only by the white sail of some distant ship, all my 
enthusiasm was kindled, and I felt my spirits rise to 
almost a sublime ecstasy. I drew my breath softly, 
not to break the spell that seemed to raise me nearer 
heaven. But, alas! alas! as H. B. Stowe says, 'The 
one step from the sublime to the ridiculous is never 
taken with such alacrity as at sea !' Just as a beautiful 
white sea-gull came floating near, to add still another 
charm to the scene, we became painfully aware that 
the ' stiif breeze' which had made old ocean so beau- 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 223 

tiful, with its myriad white-capped waves, had made 
it ^rather rough^^ as the captain said, and we mutually- 
agreed * that we had better go in. ' Ah ! that '■ going 
in' is significant. Suffice it to say, that was the end of 
all sentiment for that night ! 

** Next day, toward evening, it seemed calmer, and 
I sat on deck for an hour, to see the beautiful rocky 
coast we were passing. The sunset was accompanied 
with as rich a wealth of clouds as the night before, 
and this time I could enjoy it." 

"St. John, October 8, 1865. 
*' My Dearest Carrie : 

* * * **I have just returned from the stone 

church, where we had a lovely sermon from Mr. S , 

the simple glad tidings spoken from a loving heart. 
It did me good, and I felt that it must any who took 
it into their hearts. * * * 

** Yesterday Mrs. B came in the morning to ask 

us to go to drive with her in the afternoon and get some 
ferns ; she was so delighted with our fernery that she 
wanted one at once. So she bought an elegant large 
glass shade, and about half-past one o'clock yester- 
day afternoon we went — mother, Annie, Mrs. B , 

Charley, and myself, forming the party — in their open 
carriage. We went to Lily Lake, and rambled about 
for two hours on the beautiful hills which surround 
it. In the woods it was one sheet of moss and ferns, 
and the lovely little views we came out upon every 
once in a while were charming. There was such a 
beautiful rosy light over the distant hills, and the lit- 
tle quiet lake, nestled among the peaked firs, looked 
so calm and peaceful. 



2 24 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 26. 

"We rambled a great distance, and you should 
have seen us returning to the carriage with our 
treasures ! 

*' Mrs. B would have us go back to their house 

to dinner at seven o'clock, which we did, and spent 
the evening very pleasantly, arranging the fernery." 

"TSWEDELLE, DeC. 3I, 1865. 

**My DearB. C : 

* * * "I too felt that my last visit to you was 
not all I wanted that it should be, but I enjoyed meet- 
ing the Jewish brother in Christ ; and as the One who 
planned it 'doeth all things well,' I felt it must be for 
the best. 

* * * '*I cannot tell you how nice it was to 
see your handwriting again, and to know that I have 
been *much on your mind.' I have not been sick, 
however ; on the contrary, I never was better in body 
in my life. 

*'As to the spiritual life, what can I say, but that I 
am a poor sinner resting on Christ? I think that 
expresses it all. Self — sinful, weak, unfaithful ; 
Christ — loving, tender, faithful ! 

* Jesus, sun and shield art Thou, 

Sun and shield forever, 
Never shalt Thou cease to shine, 
Cease to guard us never !' 

*'I have just come up from Sunday-school, where 
I have been telling my scholars about Jesus' love, 
and it seems to me I never felt it so great and sweet 
before. 

*0h, to grace how great a debtor, 
Daily I'm constrained to be !' 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 225 

* * * *' You kindly ask after Earnest. He is 
growing a large boy, and I think a very nice one, 
although not at all handsome or brilliant in any way. 
I hope he will make a good man, which is far better. ' ' 

To M. M. J. 

MiLLVILLE, Feb. II, 1866. 



*'My Dear Little M : 

* * * '*The prayer that God may keep you 
clinging very closely to Himself, and shelter you 
under the sweet shadow of His wing, has sprung from 
my heart for you very often. Trust Him in every- 
thing, dear M — , as you have begun, and He will sus- 
tain you, and bring you out victorious over all your 
rough billows. *None of them that trust in Him 
shall be desolate.' 'Be of good courage, and He 
shall strengthen thine heart.' 

''I have been miserable for two days, but feel 
much better to-night, and am going to try to go to 
Bible class. * * * 

* * * " Surely our Father is plenteous in mercy. 
I have been thinking all day of this text : * Can a 
woman forget her sucking child, that she should not 
have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, 
she may forget, yet will I not forget thee.' " 

** TSWEDELLE, Feb. 18, 1866. 

*' Dear Friend : 

* * * ''I hope that you may be a blessing to 
those around you. Were it not that I know how 
strong He is whose arm is about you, I should be 
almost afraid of the Unitarian influence upon you ; 
it is so insidious, and works away in the dark be- 



226 ON THE ROCK. ^t. 26. 

fore you know that it is having any effect upon you. 
The only way is to keep so near Jesus all the time 
that it cannot touch you. He is our * hiding place' 
from every temptation, as well as from every snare, 
trouble, or sorrow. It has seemed to me the last few 
days that his love is perfectly wonderful. Why 
should he love us so when we are so unworthy ? 

* * * f< \.2JsX. Saturday was father's birthday. 
Mother had a large turkey of her own raising roasted, 
and, as it was a bright day, Carrie and the chits 
came over to dinner, and we had quite a pleasant 
time. My cap made its first appearance duly, at the 
dinner table, on dear father's head. Frank wrote 
him a nice letter, with a great deal of exertion, and 
inclosed his photograph, which he had taken espe- 
cially for the occasion, and which was a perfect sur- 
prise to his grandpa. 

* * * '* If this letter is not readable you must 
excuse it for Marion's sake. She stayed with me last 
night, and has been doing her best to make me give 
more attention to her than to my letter. She insists 
on my holding her doll for her, and puts all her 
playthings, one after another, on my writing pad for 
me to look at, which is all very charming, but does 
not agree with letter-writing. 

*' And now I must go, as the carriage is here for 
me to take this to the P. O., and visit those two poor 
sick women, both of whom I believe you know. 

**May God ever bless and keep you by His own 
mighty power, and in His most tender love." * * * 



CHAPTER XII. 




N the early spring of this year a young man, 
a connection of the family, who was en- 
gaged in business in Philadelphia, was taken 
with hemorrhage, and, having no relations in that 
city, was invited to Tswedelle until he should have 
gained sufficient strength for the long journey to his 
distant home. 

Alice, although but slightly acquainted with him, 
knew of him as gay and wordly, seeming to care 
only for a merry life in this present world, without a 
thought of one to come. He was much laid on her 
heart in prayer as soon as she heard that he was to 
become an inmate of Tswedelle, and, almost imme- 
diately after his arrival, she sought an opportunity of 
presenting the gospel to him. 

She found that the Lord had been preparing the 
way, and that he was ready and anxious to talk on 
the subject, desiring, more than anything else, to 
know what he must do to be saved. Although very 
reserved, he opened his heart freely to Alice, and she 
said that she had never in any one seen such deep 
conviction and sorrow for sin. At first he could see 
nothing but his own sins; but gradually, as she 



228 ON THE ROCK: ;et. 27. 

dwelt on the 'glad tidings,' that * Jesus Christ died 
to save sinners,' his eyes were opened to behold *the 
Lamb of God which taketh away the sin of the 
world,' and ere two weeks had elapsed he could re- 
joice that he had found a Saviour who was ' able to 
save them to the uttermost that come unto God by 
Him.' 

How little Alice's friends imagined as they saw her 
daily performing all the many kind and thoughtful 
attentions which are so much needed and appreciated 
by an invalid, that before another spring-time came 
they would be performing the same for her, who 
was now the light and joy of the household. It 
seemed to be her greatest pleasure to minister to the 
wants or by her ready sympathy to lighten the sor- 
rows of others. She would often steal away from 
• the parlor, even when the company of dear friends 
from a distance made it a real sacrifice on her part, 
that she might by her cheerful conversation and read- 
ing of the Scriptures enliven what would otherwise 
have been the many weary hours of her invalid friend. 
He was much strengthened and settled in gospel truth 
by this constant intercourse with one who had long 
known and proved the faithfulness of the Saviour of 
sinners, and who rejoiced from a full heart to speak 
of Him to others. 

This young man died some months after reaching 
his home, in the full confidence of faith in Jesus. 

To M. M. J. 

"TswEDELLE, June 18, 1866. 

'*My Dear Little M : 

* * * *'Alas, the hurry, hurry of Tswedelle is 
still the same as ever ! We are so busy all the time, 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 229 

that it don't seem as if we have half a chance to settle 
down and enjoy Annie. 

*' Saturday we had a children's party, which went 
off finely, and all the children seemed to enjoy it 
very much, but it pretty well tired out the old folks. 

* * * *' Don't neglect to pray that our visit to 

P may be blessed to us all, and that we may be 

comforted and strengthened in our heavenward jour- 
ney by being together. " * * * 

Dear Alice found her great strength for service in 
the closet, in communion with her divine Master. 
To Him she took all her cares and troubles, as well 
as her daily needs, and she always found rest for her 
aching head upon His bosom. It is to be regretted 
that she did not note down some of these more inti- 
mate communings in the form of a journal, but her 
life has left a fragrance to all those who knew her 
intimately which words can never describe. 

Hers was a thoroughly active, busy life, always 
occupied for others, never thinking of self. God 
gave her in an eminent degree what she often used 
to pray for — 

"A heart at leisure from itself, 
To soothe and sympathize." 

She was seldom thrown with any one for any length 
of time without speaking personally of religion, en- 
deavoring to find out whether they were living in the 
present possession of eternal life. She always laid 
the matter first before the Lord, asking Him to open 
the door, and her prayers were often wonderfully 
answered. Even when the person addressed seemed 
entirely indifferent to the solemn warning or the 
20 



230 ON THE ROCK: mi 27. 

gospel message, the word spoken in the name of 
Jesus would often, like bread cast upon the waters, 
be found after many days. 

A colored servant boy, whom she had taught of 
Jesus, was converted some time after leaving Tswe- 
delle to join the navy. 

He always retained a most affectionate remem- 
brance of Alice's interest in his eternal welfare, and, 
among many other expressions of gratitude, he thus 
writes to her in the fall of this year : — 

'*I am so glad that you spoke to me about the love 
of Jesus Christ. When I first came on board this 
ship, I tried to banish the thought of Jesus from my 
memory, but there was one Christian man who spoke 
to me, and asked me if there was not some one who 
had taught me to love Jesus. * * * Miss Alice, I 
have often wondered how it was that preachers have 
ofttimes talked to me on that subject, but they never 
made any impression on my mind, and no one ever 
did but you. When you first mentioned it, I thought 
that all my sins looked me in the face. * * * Oh, 
if you had not spoken to me, I was on the road to 
ruin, and I can never repay you for it. Ever since 
those evenings when you spoke to me I have always 
thought that if by giving up my life I could repay 
you, I would do it." 

About the ist of 7th mo. Alice accompanied her 
sister Annie and family as far as Boston, on their 
way to St. John. From there she went to Salem and 
Pittsfield, to visit some friends. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B, WHITALL. 231 

"Salem, July 6, 1866. 



''My Dears : 

* * * *'What a comfortable feeling it is -that 
He is arranging everything for us. It brings such a 
quietness with it, such a calm to the restless spirit. 

Oh, S , what would we do without this confidence 

in Jesus? He may not, He does not always arrange 
things as we should have wished, but He doeth all 
things just right, and that is better, far better. And 
although our poor, weak hearts may not always rejoice 
in it now, because we cannot see or realize it, we 
shall hereafter, praising Him eternally. Oh, to say with 
the Psalmist, 'I will praise the Lord at all times, His 
praise shall continually be in my mouth. ' I feel like 
praising the Lord to-night, but I do not always feel 
so. I have been asking Him to keep me always 
praising Him, for I am sure this is what He wants, 
or He would not tell us to do it." 

"PiTTSFIELD, July 23, 1866. 

''My Dears : 

* * * ''It was a very warm morning upon which 
I started from Salem, and I was filled with not a few 
misgivings; I always dread going among strangers, 
and this was so entirely an untried field. However, 
I thought of the strong arm I had to lean ujDon, 
and of His sweet words, 'My strength is made per- 
fect in weakness,' and so seated myself in the cars for 
Pittsfield in a quiet frame of mind, prepared to see 
all that was to be seen, and bear all the dust and 
heat in as philosophic a manner as possible. 

" The ride to Springfield was just as warm and un- 
comfortable as it well could be. Then we began to 



232 ON THE ROCK: ^.t. 27. 

enter a beautiful mountain district, and the three 
hours' ride from there was fully worth all the discom- 
forts of the first part of the journey. The views 
which we had were lovely, as we wound round 
amongst the hills, and by the banks of little streams, 
now swiftly gliding through a fertile valley, sur- 
rounded by hills, and now dashing through a gorge 
in the mountains, to come out on the other side to 
still more beautiful views beyond. 

*' I wish I could describe to you the perfect beauty 
of a thunder-storm coming up among the mountains ; 
but it is useless for me to begin. These lovely scenes 
make me long so to have the power of giving some 
faint idea of them to those I love, who cannot see 
them. 

*'But I must go back to my story, and tell you 
how kind the clouds wxre to me on the day I was 
speaking of. They came up in great rolling masses 
about noon, and not only shielded me from the great 
heat of the sun, but, by casting their ever-varying 
shadows upon the valleys and mountain sides, gave a 
perfect charm of light and shade that I enjoyed in- 
tensely. At last, just as we entered the beautiful 
valley in the midst of which Pittsfield is situated, we 
could see, miles away among the mountains, the 
black thunder-clouds rolling toward us, first envelop- 
ing one, then another in its darkness, while the valley 
in which we were was still smiling in the bright sun- 
light. For the first time in my life I saw the effect 
which Bierstadt gives in his * Storm in the Rocky 
Mountains.' It was almost too aggravating in such 
a scene not to be able to stand still, but to be whirled 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 233 

along, whether you would or not, at the same head- 
long speed. 

*■ * A few minutes more and we were In the midst of 
the shower, and almost at the same time we stopped 
at Pittsfield. The change was so sudden that I stood 
like one bewildered for a moment on the platform. 

I did not expect to find M or L out in such 

a shower, so called a hackman, and committed my 
check to his tender care, telling him that I wanted to 

go to Dr. R 's, upon which he replied that the 

doctor was looking for me, and in a minute brought 
a pleasant-looking -gentleman, who very politely and 
heartily welcomed me to Berkshire. 

" In a few minutes more we were before the door 
of the ' Pill-box.' The sun looked out just then, and 
I thought it was about as pleasant a place as I have 
seen. The house is situated on a broad street, lined 
on both sides with elms, and a broad strip of velvet 
grass between the road and sidewalk, which I think 
is one of the prettiest features of many New England 
towns. 

* * * " Saturday we had a splendid drive 
among the mountains to Windsor Falls, about six miles 
from here. We had lovely views all the way, and 
enjoyed our ramble through the woods to the falls 
very much. They are picturesque and beautiful. We 
then drove through the Gulf, a wild gorge in the 
mountains, which brought us out on the top of 
a hill, where we had a fine view of old * Grey Lock,' 
which is the king of the mountains hereabouts ; in- 
deed Dr. R says it is the highest point of land 

in Massachusetts." 

20^ 



234 ON THE ROCK: j^i. 27. 

"TswEDELLE, September 26, 1866. 

''Oh, S , how kind our Heavenly Father is! 

Why can't, why don! t we trust Him more, and not 
be afraid? * * * j guess all Christians find 
that when the joy of earth first leaves them, the joy 
of their religion seems also to be shadowed. But it 
is out of just such battles that our real appreciation of 
God's peace grows. I do wonder if any one has 
ever satisfactorily expressed the difference between 
the first fresh joy of the buoyant gushing childhood 
in the Christian life, and the deep, inexpressible joy 
of those who have been tried in the fire, yet have 
found in Jesus more than even their most sanguine 
dreams had pictured, and yet so different. He is so 
very good, and gives so bountifully of His good 
things. He does not take us through dark places for 
nothing, it is always to bring us into brighter regions 
above." 

"TswEDELLE, Jan. I, 1867. 
*' My Dearest Annie : 

**A11 my letters lately have begun with excuses 
for not having written before, but this shall not, 
although I might tell thee of all the letters I have had 
to answer since Christmas. 

''This is the first day of a new year, and I have 
made several resolutions, differing, I hope, essentially 
from those I used to make and break right away 
when I was a child, because made in my own strength. 
How true it is that the Christian's vital breath is 
prayer ! 

"I have been refreshed lately by reading 'Mary, 
the Handmaiden of the Lord,' by the author of ' The 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 235 

Schonberg Cotta Family. ' It is sweet. I think the 
little sermon she preaches on that part of the angels' 
message to Mary, 'The Lord is with thee,' is as 
lovely as anything I ever read. She says our Chris- 
tian growth depends on our realization of God's pre- 
sence. To live in His presence consciously is the 
one thing that will keep us or make us heavenly- 
minded. I do so long to be more heavenly-minded, 
don't thee ? 

*' I have been spending every other 6th day night 

with A. S , in order to attend some meetings for 

young Friends. I wish I could tell thee all about 
them. I enjoy A. S so much, she is such a satis- 
factory Christian. She is so entirely devoted, and 
full of love and zeal for the cause of truth, that it 
seems impossible to be with her without catching 
some spark of the heavenly fire. 

*' I promised H. W. S that I would make her 

a visit as soon as our Sunday-school closed for the 
winter, and now that it is satisfactorily wound up with 
a festival, which went off very nicely on Christmas 
day, I feel at liberty to go to-morrow. * * * 

*' I wish I could have peeped in upon you on 
Christmas morning to see the opening of the stock- 
ings. Our children enjoyed themselves exceedingly. 
We were too busy to make them a tree, so Frank 
went out and got a little one of his own, and arranged 
it himself for his * little sisters, ' and although it was, 
of course, a rather crude affair, still I do believe they 
all enjoyed it more than any we ever made for them. 
I advise thee to try it. Let them do it themselves, 
and it is very little trouble, as you have no character 
to sustain in the matter. The tree must be small, so 



236 ON THE ROCK. jpjt. 27. 

that they can reach, and they feel so proud of their 
work when it is done. But I hope to see thee before 
another Christmas. * * * 
*' A happy New Year to all. 

" Thy own loving 

"Alice." 





CHAPTER XIII. 

N the 2d of ist mo. 1867, Alice went to Mill- 
ville to pay the visit referred to in her last 
letter. The first evening of her arrival her 
cousin had a long conversation with her, in which 
Alice expressed a strong desire to know a deeper and 
more abiding work of grace in her soul, and to realize 
a closer union with Jesus, and a fuller baptism of the 
Holy Ghost. 

There was staying in the house at the time a dear 
minister of the gospel, — one deeply taught in the 
things of God, — and the next day was a day of feast- 
ing to Alice, as she sat with her open Bible, listening 
to his. expositions of divine truth. God had so ordered 
it that he dwelt mostly on the subject of '^ walking 
in the Spirit," and taught very emphatically the won- 
derful truth that those who did thus walk need not 
and would not fulfil the lusts of the flesh. It was 
just the teaching Alice needed, and the Lord opened 
her heart to receive it. During the course of the day 
the question was asked of this minister whether Chris- 
tians ought to expect to live in the condition described 
in the seventh chapter of Romans all their lives, long- 
ing to do good, but finding it impossible because of 



238 ON THE ROCK: ali. 27. 

the weakness of the flesh ? His reply was emphati- 
cally "No," and then he showed very clearly that 
the eighth chapter of Romans describes the true 
Christian experience, and one which may be realized 
by every child of God, since it is the purchase of the 
death of Christ, and is all treasured up in Him for 
those who believe on Him. 

Alice was very much struck by this answer, for 
although she had in a remarkable degree lived a life 
of faith in Christ, yet there was one point in which 
her faith was lacking, and therefore she did not realize 
so complete a victory over the evil tendencies of her 
heart as her soul longed for. The difficulty had 
been that, while trusting Christ fully and entirely and 
alone to deliver her from the guilt of sin, she did not 
trust Him fully and entirely and alone to deliver her 
from the power of sin. She knew she had no strength 
of her own, and it was her constant prayer that Christ 
would give her strength, whereas she was to have no 
strength at all, but, like a little child folded to his 
father's bosom begs his father to drive away his foe, 
so she was to hang helpless on to Christ, and ask Him 
to fight the foe in her heart, trusting Him practically 
to be her strength. 

The glorious possibilities of the full salvation of 
Jesus began to dawn upon her, and her soul rejoiced. 
In the evening a Bible class was held, and the subject 
of walking in the spirit continued with many forcible 
illustrations. The true secret of a life of faith was 
opened to Alice's understanding ; that it is to cease 
from all efforts of our own, and to commit to the 
Lord Jesus our whole life and our daily living, 
trusting Him to work in us to will and to do of His 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 239 

good pleasure, so that we can say in very truth, ** I 
am crucified with Christ ; nevertheless, I live ; yet 
not I, but Christ liveth in me." She at once ac- 
knowledged in the depths of her heart this to be the 
true way, yet for a moment she shrank from such a 
complete abandonment of self, as a yielding to it 
involved. Then, instantly frightened at her own 
rebellion, she breathed a prayer for God to take her in 
hand, and make of her just what he pleased. At that 
moment the veil was lifted, and the Lord Jesus was 
revealed to her enraptured soul as her all-sufficient 
and perfect Saviour, in a way she had never before 
even dreamed possible. As she described it, she 
seemed to be as it were extinguished in Jesus. She 
realized her absolute oneness with Him, in a way no 
words could describe. Indeed she felt as if He 
entered into her soul and became her very life. At 
once she was enabled to adopt as her own the words, 
" Yet not I, but Christ liveth in me," which but a 
little before had seemed so impossible for her. Her 
whole being was overwhelmed with the glory of the 
revelation. She said nothing, but tears rolled down 
her cheeks, and she soon found that the depth of 
feeling could no longer be repressed, and asked to 
be excused. She was obliged to lean on her cousin 
for support, as she left the room, and sat down on 
the first chair where she could be alone. There some 
time afterwards, she was found weeping and praising 
God. '' Oh, what a Saviour Jesus is !" " Oh, what 
a complete salvation ! " " What a perfect Saviour ! ' ' 
** Oh, how precious !" Such were some of the ejacu- 
lations that continually burst from her lips. 

The next day found dear Alice still filled with the 



240 ON THE ROCK: jei. 27. 

Spirit, and overflowing with unspeakable joy. She 
listened with eager delight to the further expositions 
of the way of faith, which all that day and the next 
it was her privilege to hear from the dear minister 
above referred to. He dwelt much upon that text, 
''I do not frustrate the grace of God, for if right- 
eousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in 
vain,'* and he showed plainly that the frustrating here 
meant, was the legal striving of the soul, after being 
justified, to keep itself pure and holy, and to ''work 
righteousness," as the Scriptures express it, by its own 
efforts. This striving, he said, could not but hinder 
the full acting of the grace of God, by which Christ 
would be made unto it sanctification and righteousness, 
in the same real and practical sense as He was its justi- 
fication. Alice was delighted with the new light 
thus thrown upon this text, and at once said that it 
should be henceforth her own especial text. ''I ask no 
more blessed experience than this," she said, ''not 
to frustrate the grace of God." And constantly she 
might be heard repeating to herself under her breath 
the words, "I do not frustrate the grace of God, no, 
I do not, I will not!" 

Many other precious lessons were learned during 
those days, which cannot now be recdled, but the 
Bible seemed to become almost a new book to her, 
and her favorite hymns acquired a new and glorious 
meaning. Those two precious lines which had so 
long been a comfort to her, seemed, she said, never 
to have been understood before, 

" I am a poor sinner, and nothing at all, 
But Jesus Christ is my all and in all," 

and she repeated them over and over with the greatest 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 241 

emphasis, trying to show to all around her the blessed- 
ness of realizing their utmost truth. 

There were several little social meetings for wor- 
ship during the course of these few days, and Alice 
took part in them, praying with great power and 
nearness of access. All who were with her took 
knowledge of her that she not only had been, but 
that she was then, with Jesus. During this time a 
very severe temptation beset her, and she learned 
experimentally the secret of victory over it. She no 
longer tried in her old legal way to resist it, praying 
for help, but she handed it right over to her mighty 
Saviour, committing to Him the whole care of re- 
sisting and conquering it for her, while she stood 
by and held her peace. And to her unspeakable joy 
she found He did deliver. 

In this manner several days passed. They were 
her last well days on earth. The weight of joy was 
too much for her delicate frame j and on the third 
morning she was unable to leave her bed. She lay 
there too weak to speak much, but her countenance 
was expressive of a peace that passeth understand- 
ing. She soon rallied, however, sufficiently to be 
able to start for home. A day or two before leaving 
her cousin's, she thus writes to her mother and sis- 
ter : — 

* * * '^I think I will write you both in one, 
as my time here is too precious to spend much of it 
in writing. I can talk when I get home. I expect 
to come out from Phil a. on 7th day, and I thought 
it would be nice to have Bible class that afternoon, 
in which case I could meet Carrie there. Do let us 

21 



242 ON THE ROCK: . ^et. 27. 

pray, dear Carrie, more earnestly for a blessing on 
our Bible class. I so long that Christ may be more 
exalted there, and that we may really be fed from the 
fountain of all truth. 

** How I do wish thee and mother could have been 

here with Mr. ; he is a most wonderful teacher, 

such an one as I never met before. It was just one 
Bible class all the time he was here. Every evening 
we all collected round the large table in the parlor. 

F. D and five or six others beside our own family 

were generally there. I cannot begin to tell you 
how much I enjoyed it. It really seemed that the 
Holy Spirit accompanied his words, and brought 
them home with power to our hearts, so that we 
could say in truth that we never saw the fulness of 
our possession in Christ before. Oh, the realization 
of the love of God toward us in Christ Jesus is in- 
deed worth more than all the wealth of all the worlds. 
What umitfcrable joy and peace it gives ! Not only 
the peace of knowing that our sins are forgiven, and 
joy in the prospect of an eternal inheritance with 
Him in light — these are ours when we come and lay 
our weary load of sin at the foot of His cross, as 
Pilgrim did, and go on our way rejoicing — but He 
gives us His peace. 'My peace I give unto you, 
not as the world giveth give I unto you.' It is dif- 
ferent in its very nature and essence from any earthly 
peace, because it is the very peace that God feels. 
He is the vine, we are the branches; just as the sap 
runs through the vine to the branches, just so His 
peace flows from Him unto us. It seems as if my 
words were powerless to touch anything so glorious, 
so wonderfully" — 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 243 

It is very much to be regretted that the last sheet of 
this letter, in which she spoke more fully of the expe- 
rience through which she had just been passing, has 
been lost. 

She came to Philadelphia on the i6th, intending 

to spend the night with her friend, A. S , and go to 

a gathering of Friends, according to a previous agree- 
ment. Dear Alice's usual energy led her to go through 
with this exertion, but it was more than her health 
was equal to. The rooms were crowded, and a win- 
dow was opened near where she sat. She thus added 
to a cold which she had taken several days before. 

The next morning found her too ill to leave her 
bed ; but, although the flesh was so weak, her spirit 
was rejoicing in God her Saviour, and the two or 
three days she was obliged to remain in Philadelphia, 
before she gained sufficient strength to reach her 
home, were days of sweet communion with her friend, 
who cared for and watched over her with loving 
tenderness. When able to join the family at break- 
fast, after their morning reading of the Scriptures 
she prayed very sweetly and fervently. In mention- 
ing it afterward, she said that before she received 
this outpouring of the Spirit, the cross, in such an 
effort, would have been great, but that now she did 
it joyfully, feeling it a privilege. 

On the 19th of ist mo. she reached Tswedelle, 
and was thankful to be again at her dear home. At 
first it seemed as if a little quiet, and good nursing, 
would soon restore her to her usual health ; but as 
she continued rather to grow worse, the family phy- 
sician was called in, who at once pronounced her 
disease acute bronchitis. She was troubled with a 



244 ON THE ROCK: ^et. 27. 

severe cough, and great weakness, which prevented 
her speaking much to her beloved family of the 
blessing of the fulness of Christ which had been be- 
stowed upon her while away from home. 

She was able, however, to tell her sister something 
of the revelation of Jesus which she had experienced, 
saying she knew Christ as a mighty power within, in 
a far higher sense than ever before. She had often 
felt her Saviour to be very near to her, but never 
before so fully enjoyed the consciousness of His dwell- 
ing in her, and walking in her. He was more to her 
now than ever a present help outside of her, for she 
realized Him to be dwelling in the inner citadel of 
her heart, and doing all for her, instead of helping 
her to do it, as heretofore. 

The day after her return she wrote the following 
note to her cousin, from which something may be 
gathered of her experience at this time ; — 

" TsWEDELLE, January 20, 1867. 

*' My Own Darling H : 

** I expect thou wonders why I have not written. 
The reason is that the flesh (literally) is very weak. 
It seems that my body has almost given out under 
too much joy. I feel so exhausted to-day, that I can 
scarcely move ; but the goodness of the Lord is just 
the same as ever, and it is just as nice to rest on Him. 
Oh ! what a comfort to have such a loving Saviour 
to do everything for us, and to be everything for us. 
In my present languid and good-for-nothing state it 
is such a rest to feel that He has taken my will into 
His own hand, and that there is no crossing of my 
will with His. May He in His pitying mercy keep 
it Himself. I have such a realizing sense that if He 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 245 

let go of it for a moment it would spring up in all its 
old force, and the old fight, to do God's will against 
my own will, would begin. It seems to me we have 
enough to fight with, without fighting our own wills. 
What a m-ercy that there is One who will bind them 
for us with the chains of love ! It seems to me that 
the great thing the Lord is fighting in me — I do in- 
deed speak reverently — is my old habit of mind. A 
habit of mind, I suppose, must be harder to overcome 
than habits of life, for one is the spring of the other. 
My old habit of thinking that I must fight my beset- 
ting temptations in the old legal way is so strong, 
that I try it many times each day, because I forget 
that there is a better way, and, of course, fall into 
sin as often as I try it. The more I think of the glo- 
rious truth of what Jesus is, the more wonderful it 
seems. 

*'It is so sweet to think of thee, darling, as in the 
hands of One who is so loving, so powerful, and so 
true. He put many sweet prayers into both A. 

S 's heart and mine for thee, while I was there. 

My visit to her was confirming, and very sweet, 
although my head was very naughty. * * * 

*' As ever, thy loving little sister-cousin. 

Alice.'' 

A week or more after her return she became much 
worse, and for three or four weeks was very ill. 
Several times she seemed to be getting better, and 
gained strength enough to sit up a short time, and 
then without any perceptible cause became worse 
again. 

During the 3d month she seemed to gain strength 

21* 



246 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 27. 

more steadily, and was able to sit up a part of the 
day, and even walk into an adjoining sitting-room. 
Her recovery, however, being very slow, it was 
thought best about the first of 4th month to call in a 
consulting physician, whose opinion was found to be 
decidedly unfavorable. This was a terrible blow to 
her family, but the Lord graciously enabled them to 
submit their wills unto His. 

Her sister, whose privilege it was to be her constant 
companion and nurse, writes concerning this period 
in her journal : — 

4th month nth, 1867. — Dear Alice's room is as 
bright and cheerful as possible, but everywhere else 
the house is as sad as if there had just been a funeral. 
We have carefully kept our fears from her, but it* 
seems that although outwardly as cheerful and bright 
as usual, she has for the past week been realizing for 
the first time her exceedingly critical condition. 

She has often said when in health that she thought, 
for the Christian, a sudden death was much more to 
be desired than one from consumption; to have no 
time to think of the parting, or the death struggle, 
but in a moment to be ushered into the immediate 
presence of Jesus, to go no more out forever, would 
be glorious. She spoke to-day for the first time of 
her present feelings with regard to it, saying : *' For 
days past the thought of dying in consumption has 
been very painful to me, but it was glorious when I 
felt that Jesus was able for this also. He will bring 
me through, and even make me triumph over it, and 
now the thought of a lingering death is not painful, it 
even looks cheerful." 

I said : " He has enabled me, darling, to give thee 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 247 

up into His hands, to do with thee as seemeth best to 
Him." 

She replied: ''Thee need not have told me that, 
my precious one, for I knew it, I felt it, and I think 
it is so sweet thee can give me up so entirely. It is 
lovely to feel that others are laying you into His 
arms, for He is so good, so precious. For myself I 
have no wish, no choice j but when I think of father 
and mother" — and her eyes filled with tears — ''it goes 
to my heart. What would they do without me? 
Sometimes I think that it may be God's will that I 
should live to cheer and comfort them in their de- 
clining years ; but He knows what is best. ' ' 

Her characteristic forgetfulness of self, and thought- 
fulness for the pleasure of others, were beautifully 
shown in her planning a little surprise for her sister 
Carrie on the anniversary of her wedding, which 
occurred only a few days before the conversation 
above recorded, and while a death by consumption 
was looking so painful to her. Outwardly she was 
the same bright, cheerful "Aunt Alice," who must 
be taken into the counsels of the children, as to what 
presents to get for mamma. With her own hands she 
made them a wreath of beautiful flowers from her 
conservatory to crown their mother on this the tenth 
anniversary of her wedding day, and herself came 
down stairs that nothing might be wanting to the 
enjoyment of the occasion, which to the children was 
unmixed with sadness. 

As the spring advanced, Alice continued to gain 
strength, driving out almost every day, and was able 
really to enjoy the society of her sister Annie, who 
had been sent for from St. John in the early part of 



248 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 27. 

the 4th month, as the physicians then feared that she 
might no.t last until summer. Although thus steadily- 
improving, dear Alice did not encourage the hopes 
of her family and friends as to her recovery, as will 
be seen by a little note written to her friend M. M. 
J , in the 5th month. 

* * * ii\ see by your letter that you do not 
realize how feeble I am. I still have to be carried 
up and down stairs when I go to ride, which I do 
almost every fine day. I have been as far as five 
miles, when feeling very bright, the horses walking 
most of the way, but on my sick days a little exhausts 

me. In short, dear M , it is scarcely worth while 

for you to make any calculations about my going 
away, as it is very uncertain whether I shall be able 
to leave home at all, until I leave it to go to that bet- 
ter home prepared for us above. 

'^ I ate my tea on the portico last night, and walked 
out a few steps to look at the flowers. Wasn't that 
an achievement ? It was all so wonderfully beautiful ; 
it was a great treat to me. Oh, Jesus has been so 
kind to me ! I feel His strong kind arm just under- 
neath me ; it is such a resting-place ! How tender 
and gentle our precious Saviour is to us ! 

^' Do not feel too anxious about me, dear child; 
my disease is not one of immediate danger ; but I 
feel that the future is very uncertain. My desire and 
prayer is, ' Thy will be done, and make me love it.' " 

The following extracts are from the jottings of one 
of her sisters in the 5th mo. : — 

*' Dear Alice replied, to my exclamation that I 
really believed she was getting better, ' I don't think 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 249 

it is best to think whether I am getting well or not, 
but patiently wait God's time and will, living every- 
day and hour so that we shall not regret it either 
way. We know that whichever way He orders it, it 
will be best. I am so thankful that the choice is not 
left to me, for I had far rather leave it in His hands, 
to do as He wills. I should not be half so happy if 
I did not know that His will, and no one else's, will 
be done. I could not enjoy getting better if I did 
not know He is doing it for His own glory ; and if 
He sees fit to raise me up again, I know that it will 
be for some wise purpose of His own. 

'* In speaking afterward of the visit of a dear friend, 

D. T , who had prayed most sweetly with her, 

she said, * And for me she did not ask for '^ length 
of days, ' ' but she asked for just what I wanted her 
to ask for' — rich spiritual blessings, and the joy of 
uninterrupted communion with the Lord. 

'' She realizes the power of Jesus to save from 
yielding to temptation, and said the other day that 
she frequently prays that she may see sin in its ap- 
proaches, so that she need not be hastily overcome, 
before she has time to flee to Jesus for deliverance. 

*' A few mornings ago she told me that she awak- 
ened suddenly in the night from a distressing dream. 
She thought that she was being placed in a coffin, 
and all the physical horrors of death came over her. 
She felt weak and without strength to resist such feel- 
ings, but she just cast herself upon Jesus, and in a mo- 
ment He brought promise after promise to her mind, 
and all her fears vanished, and she could say, 
' Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of 
death I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me. ' She 



250 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 27. 

said, 'Afterward I was really glad of the tempta- 
tion, for it showed me how able, how strong Jesus 
is to deliver.' 

'*At another time she said that in a dream she 
seemed to be a soul wandering in darkness and dis- 
tress — when Jesus appeared to her in the form of a 
man wrapped in a large cloak, and folded her to his 
bosom. She added, ' Dreams are sometimes so 
queer ; but it was lovely, after my weary wanderings 
in the dark, to feel myself clasped to His loving 
breast, and completely hidden and sheltered by his 
large cloak from cold and darkness.' " 

It was particularly trying to Alice's naturally inde- 
pendent disposition to be indebted to others for the 
supply of all her wants ; but, recognizing her Lord's 
hand in this also, she bore it with great sweetness, 
often calling herself '' Grandmother," and playfully 
giving her age as *' one hundred and ten." 

The following letter to her mother, who had at 
Alice's urgent request taken one of her little grand- 
children from St. John, to consult Dr. T of the 

New York movement cure, about a paralyzed limb, 
breathes her usual bright and cheerful spirit : — 

*' June 14th. * * * As for this little old grand- 
mother, she is getting on nicely. Every want I could 
possibly have is supplied, and I seem stronger and 
better than when thou left home. I am wonderfully 
blessed in not suffering much pain. I enjoy so much 
going out on the lawn, and sitting on the piazza 
toward sunset. 

*'It is Marion's birthday, and I expect the dear 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 251 

pet over here for four kisses shortly. I walked quite 
a distance on the lawn yesterday afternoon, and sat 
on the portico, and took my tea in fine style. I en- 
joyed it more than I can tell, everything looked so 
lovely. The only thing that I could have wished for 
was to have the sweetest of little mothers here to see 
me. But I am very glad it is as it is. Everything 
is in the hands of our Father, to arrange for us better 
than we could do ourselves. It gives me such a sense 
of rest when I think of it. May He, in whom we 
trust, richly bless thee, precious one, and bring thee 
back to us at the right time." 

At times Alice suffered from alarming attacks of 
oppression, in which it seemed to her as if she could 
never recover her breath; but the heavenly expres- 
sion of her face showed that, although outwardly so 
distressed. He whom her soul loved was hiding her 
in *' the secret of His presence." 

After one of these attacks, speaking of them to her 
sister, she said : " They are, of course, very distress- 
ing, but then I only have to bear it one moment at 
a time, and I always feel more then than at other 
times the near presence of my Saviour, and that 
more than makes up for the suifering. I do not be- 
lieve that there is any trial or suffering that the pre- 
sence and support of Jesus would not more than 
compensate for. I had much rather have the pain 
with his presence, than to have that withdrawn and be 
at ease." 

During all this time dear Alice's blessed experience 
of abiding in Christ continued unclouded ; of the 
first five or six weeks of her illness, when confined 



252 ^ ON THE ROCK: ;et. 27. 

almost entirely to her bed, and often too weak to sit 
up even for a few moments, she thus writes under 
date of Feb. 28th : — 

*' Dearest H : 



* * * ^'How wonderfully kind our Heavenly 
Father is ! He has been so good to me ; indeed I 

can say with M that my sick-bed has been the 

most perfectly happy place I ever knew or conceived 
of. I never before thought of its being possible to 
live hour after hour, and day after day, in such con- 
sciousness of His presence ; indeed I did not know 
what perfect joy one moment of such companionship 
is. It seems to me now it would kill me to be left 

without it. Oh, H , how incomparably lovely 

our Jesus is ! It seems to me even the subject of 
trying to glorify Him in our lives becomes insignifi- 
cant compared with Jesus Himself." 

And in the 3d mo. to another friend she writes : — 

***** How much, how very much I have to be 
thankful for ! Our Father has dealt so tenderly with 
me. I cannot tell you of the sweet stream of peace 
that has flowed through my heart like a river. Jesus 
has seemed so very near. I never realized before 
how close Jesus is to us every moment, whether we 
realize it or not, and oh, the realization of it is such 
intense joy ! May He henceforth keep us both in 
the constant consciousness of this ! Is it not won- 
derful that this is our privilege?" 

And again, in a note dated July 19th, 1867, she 
says ; — 



^MEMOIR OF ALICE B. V/HITALL. 253 



*' Dearest H : 

* * * "I think often of thee, and long for a 
sight of thee, but am more than content with what I 

have ; for really, H , it does seem to me no one 

ever had so many blessings. Our precious Saviour 
is so kind ; He knows what a weak baby I am, and 
'tempereth the wind to the shorn lamb.' He is my 
rock, my sure resting place ; in Him, indeed, do I 
put my trust, and yet sometimes I dishonor Him by 
looking away and getting discouraged. He brings 

my eyes back, "and all is bright again \ but oh, H , 

I never did have such views of myself as I have 
had lately ! Sometimes it has been dreadful ; but, 
oh, what a salvation we have !" 

Dear Alice, durinp^ her hours of weary suffering 
and physical languor, had no friend more firmly 
established than herself in a life of daily faith, to en- 
courage and strengthen her against the wiles of the 
adversary. Those by whom she was surrounded 
knew little experimentally of the life of entire 
abandonment of self, and of complete trust in Jesus 
upon which she had so lately entered. Some were 
inclined to question whether the salvation of our Lord 
Jesus Christ provided for such an abiding in Him as 
to give a continual deliverance from the power of 
inward and outward sin, and whether it was the privi- 
lege of any one to rejoice always in the Saviour's pre- 
sence and smile. It was suggested that the joy and 
triumph which Alice had realized for the past few 
months were only a little fresh sense of divine love 
and mercy, which would after a while become dim, 
and leave the soul as before. Alice was at first too 
22 



254 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 28, 

sure of her own experience to pay much heed to 
these questionings. She knew that Jesus was able to 
keep her trusting Him, and she could not be per- 
suaded that she had ever experienced His indwell- 
ing in anything like the sense she now realized it. 
But she was weak and nervous, and, at last, the 
doubts of others began to find an entrance into her 
soul. She said afterwards that she remembered 
the moment when the first thought of unbelief passed 
through her mind. 

A dear Christian friend was conversing with her, 
and expressed his doubts whether such joy and near- 
ness of communion as she had lately enjoyed could 
last, saying, that he had often had seasons of very 
blessed communion, but had never found them to 
last any great length of time. The thought then 
flashed into Alice's mind — ''Must this be so? must 
I give up the blessed consciousness of the presence 
of my indwelling Saviour?" A few days after this a 
friend was sitting beside her, and she looked up 
and asked the question almost imploringly — ''Does 
thee think a Christian may have the conscious pre- 
sence of his Saviour with him all the time?" The 
friend addressed did not know experimentally, and 
could only say that she thought the Scriptures taught 
that they might; but her words were too doubtful 
to comfort or help dear Alice much. 

It happened, also, that two ministers of the gospel, 
entirely unknown to each other, visited her at dif- 
ferent times, and, with the intention, doubtless, of 
preparing her for the dark hours which so often visit 
invalids, spoke of God sometimes hiding his face 
from us, and that such seasons of desertion must be 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WIIITALL. 255 

endured with patience and resignation. After one 
of these visits, she was found in tears, and, upon 
being urged to tell what troubled her, replied : "I 
cannot bear to think of my Heavenly Father with- 
drawing His smile from me, for I feel so utterly 
weak, that I think, without it, I could not bear my 
physical suffering." 

She was pointed to the unfailing love of Jesus, and 
reminded that it certainly is His will that we should 
always be happy in Him, for we are not only com- 
manded to "rejoice evermore," but our Saviour 
Himself told us to ''ask, and receive, that our joy 
may be full." To this her only reply was : "The 
thought will come that perhaps my Heavenly Father 

sent here to warn me of a dark season ahead, 

and, oh ! I am so weak. I do not think I can bear 
it. ' ' This dread of a dark season in store for her 
was doubtless aggravated by physical causes, as she, 
at that time, had the additional suffering of a succes- 
sion of abscesses in her side, and her mind taking 
particular hold of this thought, she overlooked the 
truth that her Saviour would be with her through 
it all, although the clouds might prevent her realizing 
His presence so sensibly, as lately it had been her 
privilege to do. Thus Satan found room to enter a 
wedge of unbelief, and he never ceased his efforts 
until he had deprived her of all her joy. She lost 
the precious realization of her life being hid with 
Christ in God. She could no longer say, as she had 
once said with such depth of meaning, " Not I, but 
Christ." It became again to her as it had been in 
old times, "I, and Christ," and this was soon fol- 
lowed by the " I, " without ' ' Christ. ' ' Even her old 



256 ON THE ROCK: a:t. 28. 

assurance of faith in the forgiving mercy of her Sa- 
viour failed her, when she lost the precious sense of 
His presence, that had so filled and satisfied every 
need of her soul. 

For a few weeks her view of the Sun of Righteous- 
ness was interrupted by these clouds of unbelief. 
But she felt that it was so dishonoring to her Saviour, 
thus to doubt Him, that she spoke of it to very few, 
and seldom referred to it even to them. She was not 
long suffered by her loving Father to wander in this 
wilderness of doubt. She grew so much stronger 
that she was able to leave home, and was taken to 
Atlantic City for a few weeks, and there she met the 
same cousin at whose house she had been so blessed 
in the winter. To her she disclosed the state of her 
mind, and asked her help. **Tell me," she said, 
"the old, old story of the gospel, just as thee used to 
tell me at first. Treat me like a child, and talk to 
me about Jesus as the Saviour of sinners." *' I want 
the milk for babes," she would say over and over. 
"Just show me the places in the Bible where Jesus 
is revealed as able to save the chief of sinners." 
Then she began to question whether she was not 
commanded to trust, and not be afraid ; and she lis- 
tened eagerly to text after text on the duty of believ- 
ing, on the sin of unbelief, and on the preciousness 
of faith in God's eyes. Gradually her doubts were 
conquered by the promises of God, and again at 
the end of the year, as at the beginning, dear Alice 
could say the precious words, "Not I, but Christ," 
and could feel, as she often expressed it, that she was 
* ^ Just extinguished zft Jesus. ^^ She thus wrote con- 
cerning this period of darkness to her friend A. 
S : 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 257 

"November 13, 1867. 
'* My Very Dear Friend : 

* * * ''I have so often thought of the day dear 

A. F and thou came out to see me. How kind 

it was of you to come, and how sad that the shadow 
that hung over my spirits should have saddened you. 

** I cannot think of the experience through which 
I was then passing without a shudder. Oh ! what a 

fearful thing is unbelief! I do believe, A , it is 

the blackness of darkness itself. We cannot come 
near to its borders even, without feeling the gloom 
of its deep shadow. How awful, then, is the thought 
of being plunged into its depths ! 

''But thanks be unto God, we are called to be 
'children of the light;' we are to have nothing to do 
with darkness. He has brought us ' out of darkness 
into His marvellous light.' Our place is to bask in 
the light of the Sun of Righteousness, and so let fruit 
ripen unto His glory. How preposterous it is to 
think for a moment of its being His will that any of 
His children should, even for a season, go back un- 
der the old shadow from whence He brought them 
forth. And, oh, what a price He paid to bring them 
forth ! The idea that it could be His will to try any 
of us by taking away our rejoicing confidence in Him, 
is one which I am sure He has never given us the 
least ground for in His word, but, on the contrary, it 
is entirely opposed to all His teaching. He wishes 
us to trust Him at all times. It grieves Him when 
we doubt His word, for He has commanded, ' Have 
faith in God,' and still further, ' Rejoice in the Lord 
alway.' How then could He take away our power 
to believe and rejoice, since He does not contradict 

22* 



258 ON THE ROCK. j^.t. 28. 

Himself, or do evil that good may come ? I grieve 
that such a God-dishonoring thought could have found 
even a transient lodging in my breast, even at an 
hour when too weak and nervous to think coolly or 
reasonably. The language of faith answers all such 
suggestions : ' God only is my rock, and my salva- 
tion ; He is my defence, I shall not be moved." 
Later she thus writes to her cousin : — 

"January 7, 1868, 
* * * <c Indeed I have longed to write to thee, 
dear sweet sister cousin. I long to have thee know 
just how it is with me ; but writing is in fact the hard- 
est thing I have to do, as it always gives me a pain in 
my side, and besides I begin to cough when I sit 
down to write, and generally keep it up until I stop 
and lie down. 

* ' Thou asks if I am at rest in Jesus. I can say, in truth, 
my soul is at rest in Him. My visit at Atlantic City 
did me a deal of good ; it cleared away so many dark 
shadows of unbelief, and I have realized much more 
of the sweetness of trusting in Jesus. In short, I have 
had to trust Him more than I ever did before, because 
I am so weak, such a coward, I could not bear for 
one minute the * pressure of my care,' without resting 
it on Him. Oh, it is such a comfort to have Him to 
rest on ! 

*'My experience last year was real; I learned to 
trust and to know Jesus a power within, which I find 
a great comfort. ' ' 




CHAPTER XIV. 




URING the previous summer, Alice's little 

namesake, Alice W. S , opened her blue 

eyes upon the world, and when she was four 
weeks old Alice had the pleasure at Atlantic City of 
holding her for a few moments in her arms. A sweet 
picture they made ; the one so soon to leave the cares 
and joys of earth for her home in heaven, the other 
just entering upon life, with all its uncertainty as to 
earthly joy and prosperity. 

Upon first hearing of her birth and name, Alice 
thus writes to the little one's mother, her ** sister- 
cousin:" — 

''Ain't I proud, though, to have a namesake ! I 
am delighted. May the dear little pet be a great 
comfort to her mamma, and may she early know, 
love, and glorify our precious Lord and Master, is 
the prayer of her loving aunt Alice." 

In the fall of this year Alice's health seemed so 
much better that it was thought advisable to try a 
journey northward, and she was taken to Saratoga, 
Pittsfield, and New Bedford. During her two months' 
absence from home she continued to improve, slowly 



26o ON THE ROCK: ^t..28. 

but steadily. Long rides over the moimtains seemed 
to agree with her, and she often spoke with pleasure 
of these delightful excursions, some of which required 
the day to accomplish. 

She returned to her home the last of nth month, 
so much stronger and better, that hopes were raised 
in the hearts of her friends that she might ultimately 
recover. But it was not the will of her Heavenly 
Father that she should tarry on earth much longer. 
About the first of first month, 1868, her appetite again 
began to fail, and she grew rapidly weaker, until all 
became apprehensive that she could not remain longer 
than the spring. She had lost her voice some weeks 
previously, and from that time was never able to 
speak above a whisper, but her energy and cheerful- 
ness continued undiminished, and she wished to be 
carried down stairs and out to ride until a few days 
before her death. 

Although so weak in body, she still neglected no 
opportunity of speaking to others of their souls' salva- 
tion. 

Since her death, M , a girl who sometimes 

waited on her, acknowledged that her first serious 
thoughts on the subject of religion were consequent 
upon personal appeals made to her by Alice, during 
her illness. 

One of her sisters writes: *'I remember now, her 
telling me at the time, of the first conversation she 

had with M on the subject. It was one morning 

when I was unable to assist her in dressing. When 

M came in the room, although she really longed 

to say something to her personally, it seemed like a 
great undertaking, a perfect mountain before her. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 261 

Satan suggested that she needed all her little strength 
for dressing, which always so much exhausted her ; 
and in reference to. her weakness she said: 'I never 
felt more entirely without strength, and unfit to say 
a word; indeed I seemed not to have a word to say; 
but I knew that God could speak through me, sup- 
plying all needed strength ; so I just cast myself on 
Him, and asked Him to open the way for me to in- 
troduce the subject easily and naturally; and I don't 
think I ever spoke with less effort to any one, or with 
more conscious power of the Holy Spirit.' 

* * I remember the animation with which she spoke 
of this way of faith, saying that it made hard things 
so easy, removing in a moment mountains of diffi- 
culty. 

**How my heart rejoices that the precious seed 
sown by her in so much weakness, has been made 
fruitful by the Holy Spirit to another heart. How 
rich will be her reward as she meets these redeemed 
ones at that last great day ! Many, we believe, will 
be gathered through her words and prayers, that we 
shall never know of here, but they will shine as stars 
in her crown of rejoicing." 

Often during Alice's illness a few of the disciples 
of the Lord Jesus gathered in her room on the First 
day of the week, as did the early Christians, to break 
bread in remembrance of their Lord. Several weeks 
before her departure she wished once more thus to 
show forth her Lord's death, but she evidently felt 
that it was the last time she would meet with His 
children, thus to remember Him on earth. Her eyes 
filled with tears, and although she said nothing, it 
was one of the very few occasions on which she 



2 62 ON THE ROCK: ^,t. 28. 

seemed to feel the coming separation from all earthly- 
ties and fellowships. 

Many times during those last months she spoke of 
her departure. She seemed to be quietly waiting by 
the river, clinging to nothing on earth, but ready at 
any moment for the summons. She often said: "I 
am very happy; Jesus keeps me in perfect peace, 
resting upon Him," and upon several occasions re- 
marked, ''It seems almost wrong in me to be so 
happy at the thought of going, when I know it makes 
you all feel so sad." 

Her sister from St. John was not able to reach Tswe- 
delle before the last of 3d mo. on account of severe 
storms, and at times it seemed doubtful whether Alice 
would live to see her. In speaking of it she said, "I 
would love to see dear Annie again, and I know it 
would be a great satisfaction to her to be here, but 
I feel no clinging to it; I know it will be just right.*' 

Several weeks before they met, Alice wrote her 
the following little note: — 

"March 12, 1868. 

' ' My Own Sweet Sister : 

"I feel as if I could not stand it another minute 
without writing to thee ; it makes thee seem so much 
further off when I don't talk to thee myself. 

"Carrie has told thee, of course, how much worse 
I am in body ; but I am very happy. I think the 
thought of just falling asleep in Jesus is perfectly 
sweet. It is so different from my old view of death : 
and this is all that death is to him who trusts in Jesus 
— ^just falling asleep on Jesus' breast to awake at the 
glorious resurrection morn. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 263 

"Yesterday, and indeed for two or three days, I 
seemed so prostrated, I thought the end must be very 
near, and I longed to write thee a love-greeting once 
again, my precious one. But I feel so much revived 
after a better night, that when I found I could eat a 
little breakfast this morning, I almost felt as if I 
might last until thou comes ; but whatever is His 
will, darling, we know He will make sweet to us. 

"Jesus is so strong and so loving, we haven't any- 
thing to be afraid of while He is near. And He is 
very near to sustain me, and I trust He will be so to 
the end, and I trust Him, too, to sustain all of you, 
my dear ones. 

* * * ' ' I am thy own sister ; best of all, one 
in Jesus, and soon, oh how soon, we shall together 
'■ Hail Him triumphant descending the skies !' It will 
only be a little while at longest. Lovingly, 

Alice. ' ' 

After embracing once again this dear sister, it 
seemed as if Alice had nothing more to desire in this 
world, saying that her Heavenly Father had merci- 
fully given her all, and more than she could have 
asked. She had taken a last farewell on earth of 
almost all her friends, many of whom came from a 
distance to see her once more. For most of these 
she had some parting token of her love, some of 
which were presented by herself with tender words 
of farewell ; and although these partings were inex- 
pressibly sad to her family and friends, they cannot 
be looked back upon as mournful. It was as if she 
were going on a pleasant journey, and had prepared 
these as tokens of loving remembrance during her ab- 
sence. Those who received them made great efforts 



264 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 28. 

not to sadden her peaceful spirit, by manifesting in 
her presence the grief of their own hearts. A happy 
smile often rested on her face, and several times she 
made such remarks as the following: *'What a 
blessing it is that almost all my friends are Christians. 
Some of them do not enjoy the full assurance of 
faith, but it is very sweet that I can say to nearly 
every one, ^ We shall meet in heaven.' " 

To others of her friends these memorials came not 
until Alice had gone to her home above, and then 
the message accompanying them — sometimes a pecu- 
liarly appropriate text — came like a breath of inspira- 
tion from the spirit-land, impressing, in her well 
remembered and loving accents, the word of truth 
upon the heart. 

She sent the 14th verse of the 27th Psalm, which 
was a great favorite of hers, as a farewell message to 
a friend who was unable to come to see her. To 
another she wrote a few parting words, closing 
with : — 

**My dear friend, cleave close to Jesus; let Him 
be your all in all. The joys He gives are far better 
than what the world can give, and I pray you not to 
let it draw your heart away from heaven, from Jesus, 
our Jesus, who loves us so much, and longs to have 
us live very close to Him, because He does love us 
so much. Oh, the wonderful depths of that love! I 
am just revelling in it now. The love and the mercy 
and the grace are all true, and our King changes not. 
What a resting place is the bosom of Jesus for the 
dying sinner ! ' 

* I am a poor sinner, and nothing at all, 
But Jesus Christ is my all and in all.' " 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 265 

The following extracts are taken from memoranda 
made by one of her sisters during the last month of 
Alice's illness : — 

'^ 4th mo. 6th. Dear Alice is too weak to say 
much, but every member of the family receives at all 
times a loving smile and hearty welcome to her room. 
When dressed for the day, and occupying her usual 
reclining position on the sofa, she enjoys much having 
us all gather in the room, and listens with interest to 
the cheerful conversation, sometimes taking part by 
a few words, or a smile of assent. All that she 
says is spoken in a whisper, and a few words at a 
time, as she finds breath. 

^'She seemed quite surprised to-day when I told 

her that A. T (a very skilful nurse, who had 

been much with her, and to whom she was much 
attached) thought that in two or three weeks she could 
come to be with her through the summer if she 
needed her. She looked up and said, in her old 
quick way, * I should like to know how much longer 
she thinks I am going to live.' I replied, * She told 
me she thought thee might be with us for weeks, or 
even months.' I knew that Alice was hoping that 
the summons would come unexpectedly and very 
soon, and that this was far from good news to her ; 
but in an instant she checked the little impatience of 
her manner, and, although her eyes filled with tears, 
she said, quickly, * I would not have it any way but 
the Lord's way; — still I feel so weary sometimes, — I 
just long to fall asleep in Jesus. ' I told her she must 
remember what a precious boon every added day 
and hour of her stay was to us, while she was not 
23 



266 ON THE ROCK: >et. 28. 

suffering more than at present, although we could 
only say with her, * Thy will be done.' 

*' 4th mo. nth. This evening, when Annie kissed 
her good-night, she said, ' Such a happy thought has 
been filling my mind to-day, — I do not think any of 
us realize how near I shall be to you, — when I have 
left this body, and am with the Lord. — In all your 
communion with Him I shall be there !' 

" 4th mo. 15th. Dear Alice suffered much from 
oppression to-day ; but when Annie told her that, 
although we can do so little to show our sympathy, 
we do feel for her from the depths of our hearts, she 
said, * You must not sympathize with me, for I don't 
feel as if I need any sympathy. — I do not want you 
to feel sorry, but to praise the Lord that I am kept 
in such perfect peace — It don't seem as if I have to 
bear my suffering ; — I seem to be carried through itJ' ' ' 

The preceding extract gives evidence of dear 
Alice's thoughtfulness for others, which was a most 
touching feature all through her illness, and which 
shone conspicuously as her life wore to its close. 
She kept hidden, as much as possible from her be- 
loved friends, the suffering she was enduring, that 
their feelings might not be wrought upon by perceiv- 
ing its full extent; and, indeed, it really seemed as 
if she so entirely cast herself upon her Saviour for 
bodily relief and comfort, as well as for spiritual, 
that she realized in a degree the literal fulfilment of 
the prophecy spoken of by Matthew : *' Himself took 
our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses." 

Two of the little band of cousins before spoken of 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 267 

made a farewell visit to Alice on the 2 2d of the 4th 
mo. They thus write about it : — 

'* We found darling Alice very weak, and unable 
to speak above a whisper. She was lying on the sofa 
in the large front room ; the soft spring air stealing 
in through the open window. Everything about her 
wore a bright and cheerful aspect, and all her sur- 
roundings, even to her little round table, with its 
vase of delicate flowers, glass of ice-water, and 
dainty little saucer of gum arable, bore witness to 
the refinement of her taste. 

**The gentle invalid herself never looked more 
lovely as she welcomed us each warmly with tender 
kiss and pressure of the hand. Her soft hair, turned 
back from her sweet pale face, revealed an expres- 
sion of almost heavenly loveliness. She looked only 
too ready to depart. 

^*Our conversation soon turned upon heavenly 
things, and for the few short hours of our visit 
we enjoyed the privilege of holding with our pre- 
cious cousin sweeter communion than we had ever 
known when all in the buoyancy of health. The 
glory and joy of the resurrection were themes upon 
which Alice dwelt with delight, and vividly did she 
seem to realize that she should be a partaker of the 
coming of Christ, and of the glory that should fol- 
low ; that as she had suffered with Him, so also she 
should reign with Him. While she thus fully entered 
into the enjoyment of all the glorious future as re- 
vealed in the Scriptures, she was not dismayed because 
there is so little direct revelation with regard to the 
intermediate state of those who sleep in Jesus, but 
had intense comfort in the assurance that she would 



2 68 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 28. 

immediately see and enjoy her Saviour. ' I shall be 
with Jesus, and that will be enough,' she said, and 
these words, so full of reality to her, were to us 
woids of great solemnity. 

*'It was remarked by one present that as she lay 
there so patiently suffering she was permitted to glo- 
rify her Lord. She replied, with evident feeling of 
her own nothingness, ' How wonderful that a worm 
can glorify Him !' 

*'The thought was suggested to her, that as she 
was the first of the group of cousins who had thus 
tried the power of their Saviour, she was the means 
of greatly strengthening the faith of the rest in mani- 
festing that He took away all fear of death from one 
who simply trusted in Him for salvation. She re- 
plied, stopping after every few words to take breath, 
' What a privilege it is to prove Him ; it has been 
my privilege to do this both for a sudden death and a 
lingering one. — When I thought myself dying (from 
poison) — four or five years ago, — I felt no fear, for I 
could just cast myself on Jesus, — and now I can trust 
Him in the same way for a lingering death, — although 
it takes much greater faith to keep trusting Him for so 
long a time, — for Satan never wearies in tempting. — 
Sometimes he comes in the night and says — "You 
know you would be dreadfully frightened if you 
should have to die now, — to-night."' On being 
asked how she met such suggestions: *0h!' she said, 
' I tell him to be gone. — If I depended on him, I 
should be frightened at the thought of death, — but my 
dependence is placed on one stronger than he, — and 
I know that He will never leave me nor forsake me.' 

'* In reply to one who remarked what a comfort it 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 26; 

was to see her so happy, she said : ' My Heavenly 
Father is so good ! it seems almost too good not to 
let any clouds come in;' and afterwards, ' I know 
what it is to abide in Christ ; I feel extinguished in 
Him.' 

*'Dear Alice's voice was so low, we had to be 
very quiet to catch all she said. She kept her eyes 
mostly cast down, but now and then she would look 
up, with a kindling glance of earnestness and love, 
as she said something of her Jesus, or responded to 
His praises from another. We did not let her see 
the anguish of our hearts as we thus looked upon her 
for the last time on earth. Once, when she noticed 
the tears that would not be withheld, she said that 
she did not dare to let her thoughts dwell upon the 
separation from her loved ones ; it would be too 
agonizing for her to bear ; and hearing her mother's 
step outside, she said : ' There's darling little mother ; 
I can't think about her.' 

*'When we bade her farewell she kissed us again 
and again, and said, ' It won't be long.' " 

Another dear cousin about this time made her a 
parting visit. He writes : — 

" Never shall I forget the impression left by this 

visit. Dear Alice appeared like one about to start 

on a pleasant journey, which she had long looked 

towards, and now that its realization was near, she 

seemed unable to conceal a certain exuberance of 

joy. As I was about leaving, she called me to her 

side, and said : * Dear Cousin J , I want to give 

thee the words of the Psalmist, ' Wait on the Lord, 

23* 



270 ON THE ROCK: ^et. 28. 

be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine 
heart.' How often since her death has this promise, 
given of the Lord, and confirmed by her angelic de- 
parting spirit, come to me with power. ' She being 
dead, yet speaketh.' " 

One of her friends who visited her at this time 
writes : — 

'^I remember how dear Alice, characteristically 
drawing a spiritual significance from little things, 
called my attention to an odorator which .had been 
given to her. As her sister gently breathed into it, 
and diffused its perfume through the room, she said : 
'^Isn't it like the Christian? He may have Christ in 
his heart, and enjoy XhQ possession of the gospel, but 
it is only when breathed on by the Holy Ghoft that 
he has power to convey to others the blessing of it.' " 

One of dear Alice's greatest enjoyments and com- 
forts was to hear portions of Scripture and familiar 
hymns repeated. This was done many times a day. 
She did not weary of repetitions of the same, but 
wanted to hear them again and again, each time 
seeming to receive fresh nourishment and strength. 
At one time, when taken suddenly in the night with 
a spell of suffocation, one of her sisters being alone 
with her, was so anxious to relieve her physical dis- 
tress, by getting ether, fanning her, etc., that she 
forgot to repeat texts, as Alice had before requested 
her to do at such times. But Alice, who seemed to 
value spiritual comfort more than that intended only 
for the body, afterwards begged her never to forget 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 27 1 

it again, saying that at such times' it was impossible 
for her to think — mind and body seemed a chaos of 
suffering; and, she added, ''You don't know how 
the precious words and promises of Scripture fall 
upon my ear, as if Jesus Himself were speaking, and 
they seem to do me more good than anything else." 

When at all able, she requested to see every one 
that called, silently and. cheerfully bearing any addi- 
tional suffering their presence in her room might 
cause, being anxious to gratify their desire of seeing 
her once more, and wishing to neglect no opportu- 
nity of witnessing for Jesus, even with her latest 
breath. Although daily and hourly growing weaker 
in body, her spiritual strength seemed to be con- 
tinually increased, and her mouth opened by the 
Lord to speak constantly of heavenly things. 

On the 25th of 4th mo., twelve days before her 
death, one of her sisters writes : *' When suffering a 
great deal from oppression and nausea, so that the 
tears would come, she said : ' I seem to you to be 
suffering a great deal — and I am so weak that even a 
little pain will bring the tears — but underneath it all 
I take a great deal of comfort ; — I have been having 
such a sweet, happy time to-day.' 

*'In the evening, when Annie bade her good-night, 
wishing her sweet and comforting thoughts, she said : 
' You cannot know how full of happiness I am within. 
I want you to know — so that you may not mind so 
much seeing me suffer.' 

"4th mo. 29th. On reading the forty-sixth Psalm 
to her, and remarking how she had marked and un- 
derscored it in her Bible, she said : ' Yes, I love that 



272 ON THE ROCK: ;et. 28. 

Psalm — I want you to say it to me when I am dying.' 
She a«ked me to copy a favorite hymn, entitled 'Lean 
Hard,' for her to send to a friend, saying — 'It is 
beautiful ; it grows upon you.' 

"This evening, after her position had been changed, 
and she was, consequently, much fatigued, I repeated 
a little verse which had been a favorite during the 
past winter : — 

* Pilgrim of earth, who art journeying to heaven! 
Heir of eternal life, child of the day ! 
Cared for, watched over, beloved, and forgiven, 
Art thou discouraged because of the way ?' 

"She answered me at once with a very emphatic 
'No,' adding, ' God has been so good to me !' 

"5th mo. ist. This morning, when the eighth 
chapter of Romans was read to her, she said, with a 
heavenly smile, ' Is not that glorious ?' and later, 
when physical suffering caused the tears to roll down 
her cheeks, she said, ' These tears have no business 
here ; but they are only outside tears, — for my heart 
is not crying, — when I think where I am going, — and 

" 'tis but a little longer,"' referring to A. S 's 

verse : — 

* 'Tis but a little longer; 

Methinks the end I see : 
Oh ! matchless love and mercy, 

The Bridegroom waits for me ; 
Waits to present me faultless 

Before His Father's throne ; 
His comeliness my beauty, 

His righteousness my own.' 

She could only follow these lines with her lips, ex- 
cepting the last, which she said aloud. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 273 

''Later she said: 'Tell me the old, old story.' 
We thought she meant the story in verse, and upon 
search being made for it, she said: 'You know it; I 
want it from the Bible.' Many verses were repeated 
to her, but she said: 'About Moses lifting up the 
serpent.' — When it was finished, she said: 'That is 
it — when you want to comfort any one — point to the 
object oi our faith — Jesus Christ crucified. — The nearer 
I approach to death — the more clearly I see the glo- 
rious truth, — that we are justified by faith in Jesus 
alone, and that works have nothing to do with it, — ex- 
cepting as the fruits of faith. — I feel that my works 
are nothing, — nothing but filthy rags — 

" Thy righteousness, oh Christ ! 
Alone can clothe and beautify, 
I wrap it round my soul, 
In it I'll live and die." ' 

"After passing through a severe turn of difficulty 
of breathing, she said : ' When I was suffering so 
much from oppression awhile ago, — that verse was 
such a comfort to me — "He that trusteth in the 
Lord shall never be confounded." ' 

" 5th month 2d. This was a day of peculiarly sweet 
and heavenly intercourse, although dear Alice's weak- 
ness prevented her taking part in the conversation, 
excepting in broken sentences, and by expressive 
looks and words of assent. 

"The 53d chapter of Isaiah and the 8th chapter 
of John were during the morning particularly the 
subject of our conversation. In dwelling upon the 
precious truths contained in these portions of Scrip- 
ture, the communion of spirit that was enjoyed we 



2 74 ON THE ROCK. mi. 28. 

felt to be more precious than if it could have been 
expressed in words. 

** She took pleasure in looking out of the window 
for the first time for many days at the beautiful land- 
scape which lay smiling in the sunlight ; but the 
beauties of earth seemed only to make her think of 
the transcendent joys and glories of heaven. 

*'When it was remarked how sweetly the birds 
were singing, she said : ' Singing praises,' and added, 
looking lovingly at father, who with several others 
of the family were gathered round her, 'I wish we 
could sing a hymn of praise all together. — I want to 
die singing praises;' and indeed I think we could 
have sung a song of thanksgiving and praise even 
then, for the atmosphere around our precious one 
was such that the unseen and spiritual seemed the 
only real things in life, and for the time we could 
share her joy at the thought of so soon entering into 
the unveiled presence of her Beloved. Jesus seems 
very near to her ; she said : '■ I used to rest in the 
promises, but now I rest in the Beloved.' 

** She sent a message to Aunt M. E . ' Tell her 

that in the hour of trial I find Jesus all sufficient — all 
is peaceful, and I know that I am going to be with 
Him who died for me, — and my great comfort is that 
Jesus Christ did a// for me, — and all I have to do is to 
rest and trust in Him. — Tell her I long to meet her 
among the glorious company of the redeemed at the 
resurrection. — I send her for a text, John iii. 14-18, 

36-' 

" To dear mother, who with tears was speaking of 
what her loss would be, and saying that Alice had 
always been to her all and more than her heart could 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 275 

have desired in a daughter, she replied, — 'It is the 
greatest comfort to me. that you all give me up so 
sweetly, and the more precious and lovely I am to 
thee, darling mother, — the greater will be the sacrifice 
to give me up to Jesus j — and it is so sweet to give our 
most precious things to Christ. ' 

*' 5th month 3d. A lovely First-day morning found 
our precious one still lingering in 'the border land.' 
She said — ' Before another Sabbath morning I shall 
be in heaven.' I drew her reclining chair toward 
the window that she might look out, involuntarily 
exclaiming, as my eyes rested on the green fields and 
distant blue hills spread out as a panorama before us, 
' If this world is so beautiful and fair, what must hea- 
ven be?' She kept her eyes closed, and replied as 
in a murmur from the spirit land : ' And how fairer 
than all is He, the source and centre of all blessing.' 
/ was looking at the fading beauties of this world ; 
she was beholding, although as yet through a glass 
darkly, the matchless beauties of the eternal, invisi- 
ble One. 

*' About noon, when asked if she was much op- 
pressed, she replied, 'Yes, but I don't mind it;' 
and afterward, when somewhat relieved, said, ' I 
feel better now.' — 'How sweet it is, — so many kind 
friends.' 

" Very much that she said we could not hear, only 
words occasionally, as, 'beautiful,' 'lovely.' When 
asked if she felt more comfortable, she said, ' Nothing 
would be suffering — while realizing His near presence, 
as I do now.' She always endeavors to direct our 
thoughts from herself to the Saviour, saying at differ- 
ent times, when asked how she feels, or if she is 



276 ON THE ROCK: ff.i, 28. 

suffering much, *I am resting on Jesus/ or, 'The 
Lord is so good.' 

"During this day i Cor. xv., and 2 Cor. v., and 
the four last verses of the fourth chapter, were read. 
Also, among many others, the twenty-seventh Psalm. 
She requested the first verse of this to be repeated to 
her several times, saying, ' I was trying to remember 
that verse this morning, but I could not quite get it.' 
Many sweet hymns were also read to her. She 
enjoyed particularly, 'Rock of Ages,' 'How firm 
a foundation,' and ' Jesus, lover of my soul.' 

" In the afternoon she expressed a wish to see her 
nephews and nieces, feeling that her departure was 
hastening, and the time of her leave-taking getting 
very short. They were brought in one at a time. 
She kissed all very lovingly, and to the older ones 
said a few parting words. 

"5th mo. 4th. 2d day. This morning early dear 
Alice remarked, ' How sweetly the birds sing — they 
began just at four o'clock;' and then reflecting on 
the mercies of God toward herself, and her near 
prospect of entering upon an eternity of happiness, 
said, ' We will shout and sing praises to the Lord. — 
Oh, it is glorious ! — I wish you would all shout for 
joy, and sing praises.' 

" After a while she said, ' The name of Jesus is so 
sweet to me, — say, "How sweet the name of Jesus 
sounds." ' She followed with her lips the last two 
verses: — 

' Dear name ! the rock on which I build, 

My shield and hiding-place ; 
My never-failing treasury, filled 
With boundless stores of grace. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 277 

' I would thy boundless love proclaim, 

With every fleeting breath; 
And may the music of Thy name 

Refresh my soul in death.' 

And then added, ^Indeed it does refresh me.' 

** Again and again she asked for familiar passages 
of Scripture, and often when thought to be asleep 
would say, ' Go on, it does me so much good.' 
Once she said, ' Be sure you say some of those pas- 
sages when I am dying.' 

*' Early in the morning she asked for the hymn, 
* Anywhere with Jesus,' and a few hours afterward 
asked for it again. Dear Alice, who was resting with 
her eyes closed, remarked on the sad tone in which 
it was read, and, looking up, seemed much surprised 
at seeing us all in tears ; then, as if suddenly remem- 
bering the cause of our grief, said, ' Let the Lord 
strengthen your hearts so that you will not cry ; — It 
makes me feel as if I ought to be sorry too.' 

" When Annie spoke of her suffering, she said, ^ It 
is little I can bear for His sake, — it is the only way I 
can show I appreciate what He suffered.' " 

On the morning of the 5th, Third-day, it was evi- 
dent dear Alice's departure was near at hand. Her 
sister writes : ' * We thought this would be our dar- 
ling' s last day on earth. In the morning her pulse 
seemed to be growing weaker, and she called us all 
to come close to her, one at a time, and gave us each 
a loving farewell." It was, however, her Heavenly 
Father's will that she should have another day and 
night of suffering. She revived somewhat, and fell 
into a doze for a few moments, and on awaking said, 
24 



278 ON THE ROCK: ^t, 28. 

'' I hoped I was going to rest when I went to sleep 
that time." Some time after, knowing how she 
longed to go, her sister Carrie leaned over her and 
said, *' Darling, don't thee ever ask the Lord to take 
thee home soon?^^ She replied, quickly, *'No; I 
leave that to Him; He shall do just as He pleases 
about it." 

She took her mother's hand, and said, ''Dearest 
mother, thee ought to rejoice, — it is so sweet, — 
Heavenly Father bless dear mother — and comfort 
her, for Jesus' s sake." And later, when a sudden 
thought of the future led one of her sisters to exclaim, 
" How shall we ever live without thee ?" she replied, 
"The Lord — trust Him, — let Him be your all." 

In the afternoon she said : "I am suffering greatly ; 
but I rejoice to suffer, as He gives me strength ;" and 
again : " Mine is no ecstatic vision, it is simple faith, — 
just resting and trusting in Jesus." I am so happy, 
— But it makes no difference how I feel, does it ? 
His love is always the same,"- — then adding with more 
energy, ''It is an absolute duty to have faith in 
God." 

A friend, for whose salvation she longed, was ad- 
mitted for a few moments to her room. Dear Alice 
said, as she gave her a parting kiss, " I want to tell 
thee, dear, — that all we have to do is just to trust in 
Jesus — He has paid all our debt; — He has done it 
all, — we have only to trust in Him, — and be happy." 
To another, who came from a distance scarcely hoping 
to see her, she said : "I want to add my testimony 
to those who have gone before, — that the blood of 
Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin." 

Latei* in the afternoon she said : ' ' Tell everybody 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 279 

what a Saviour Jesus is;" and then, with her charac- 
teristic energy and warmth, added, '' He 's such a 
splendid Saviour. ' ' 

Toward evening she said : '^All is peace;" and 
then quoting the two lines which had been the ex- 
pression of her earliest Christian feeling, 

" I am a poor sinner, and nothing at all, 
But Jesus Christ is my all and in all," 

she set the seal thereto with her dying lips, saying, 

emphatically, ''That 's true;" and then, "Where 

should I be now if I trusted in anything but Christ?" 

She seemed much pleased to see her aunt M. 

W , who came from Philadelphia to stay all night, 

and see dear Alice once more. In the evening the 
last nine verses of the seventh chapter of Revelation 
were read to her, and many comforting texts repeated. 
Prayer was also offered by her side for her release 
in the Lord's own time ; '' for," writes one of her sis- 
ters, ''we could not but feel with her, in the language 
of one of her favorite hymns, 

' I know not what my soul might lose 
By shortened or protracted breath.' " 

Late in the evening she asked for the first chapter 
of I St Peter, but by mistake 2d Peter, first chapter, was 
begun. She said : "That is not it; I want the one 
where it says — ' All flesh is as grass, * * * but the 
word of the Lord shall stand forever.' " 

All night she lay upon her large reclining chair. 
At her earnest solicitation her parents left her for a 
short rest, and those who remained in the room said 
little to her during the hours before midnight, hoping 
that she might be refreshed by sleep. She lay most 



28o ON THE ROCK: /f.t. 28. 

of the time with her eyes closed, for her weakness 
and oppression were such that she could say but little. 
Occasionally the upward glance of her pleading eyes, 
and the clasping of her hands as if in prayer, revealed 
the communion she was having with her Beloved. So 
peaceful she looked, so little trace was there upon 
her countenance of the suffering she was enduring, 
that her aunt could hardly realize she was otherwise 
than comfortable, and, bending over her, asked with 
affectionate solicitude, if she was suffering much. 
With clasped hands, she replied : ' ' Agony ! agony ! ' ' 
All praise to her covenant-keeping God, who so 
strengthened the frail tabernacle as to let the taking 
down of the pins thereof be known only to Himself. 

After midnight, finding that it was impossible for 
her to rest or sleep, her sisters endeavored to comfort 
and strengthen her by reading or repeating portions 
of Scripture. She seemed to feel very grateful for 
this, saying, ''You don't know how much good it 
does me." In her very weakened condition she 
could not, without effort, recall the whole of the 
texts which arose in her mind, and these she brought 
to their notice for them to take up and finish, by re- 
peating, in a whisper so faint as sometimes to be 
scarcely understood, the first two or three words, as, 
''The Lord is my shepherd ;" "God so loved the 
world." These comforted her much, and she liked 
to hear them again and again, saying: "You need 
not mind repeating the same texts many times, for I 
like to let my mind rest upon them." 

Her sufferings every hour became much more 
acute, but not one word of repining escaped her lips. 
She many times clasped her hands, and moved her 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 281 

lips in prayer, exclaiming; *' Come ! come !" Once, 
when in great distress, she said, ^'Father, my times 
are in thine hand;" and again, when almost in agony, 
and realizing the pain it gave those around her to see 
her in so much suffering, and fearing they might be 
tempted to doubt the goodness of the Lord, she said : 
*' Don't let it shake your faith, — there is some good 
reason." Her sister writes: ''And we who were 
privileged to watch her in these hot fires, could see 
how the gold was being purified, and she was every 
hour growing in likeness to her dear Master. Never 
shall we forget the heavenly beauty deepening in her 
face, and the meek, loving, trustful look which grew 
in her patient eyes." And another sister adds : '*I 
never could realize before how our Saviour must 
have looked when He was led as a lamb to the 
slaughter, meekly willing to suffer all His Father's 
will. It was only the reflection of His image in our 
darling's face that was so lovely. Truly her prayer 
of last summer was fully answered — ' Thy will be 
done, and make me love it. ' ' ' 

Several times the beautiful verse was repeated to 
her — 

" And welcome, precious, can His spirit make 
My little drop of suffering for His sake ; 
Father, the cup I drink, the path I take, 
All, all are known to Thee;" 

when her eyes always gave the full assent which she 
was too weak to speak. 

She asked for the second chapter of Songs of Solo- 
mon, but being so low,, she fell into a doze as it was 
read, and on awakening she said : '' Did you read it 

24* 



282 ON THE ROCK: /ET. 28. 

all ? I did not hear about the spring time coming, — 
and the singing of birds." — It was read again. 

About four o'clock her sisters began to sing some 
of her favorite hymns. This appeared greatly to 
relieve the feeling of bodily distress, and she followed 
the words whenever she was able with her trembling 
lips. After singing one or two, fearing she might be 
tired, they would stop, when, looking at them affec- 
tionately, she would say : *' When you are rested sing 
it again." The one she seemed most to enjoy was 

'* REST FOR THE WEARY." 

** In the Christian's home in glory 
There remains a land of rest, 
There my Saviour's gone before me, 
To fulfil my soul's request. 
There is rest for the weary, 

There is rest for me. 
On the other side of Jordan, 
In the sweet fields of Eden, 
Where the tree of life is blooming 
There is rest for me. 

" He is fitting up my mansion. 
Which eternally shall stand ; 
For my stay shall not be transient 
In that holy, happy land. 

" Pain and sickness ne'er shall enter. 
Grief nor woe my lot shall share. 
But in that celestial centre 
I a crown of life shall wear. 

" Sing, oh sing, ye heirs of glory ; 
Shout your triumphs as you go ; 
Zion's gates shall open for you. 

You shall find an entrance through." 

This they sang again and again, Alice asking for it 
many times, and their dear Saviour, who was mani- 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 283 

festly present with that little band, enabled her be- 
loved sisters to sing these touching lines with steady 
voices, and to join with her in looking forward with 
longing hope to the time which was soon to take their 
darling from them. 

Thus through the still hours of the night from that 
chamber of death, instead of the voice of weeping, 
arose hymns of faith and hope, mingled with songs 
of praise. 

Early in the morning she was removed from the 
chair to the sofa, which was placed in the centre of 
the room that she might have air from the open 
windows. The rosy light crept over that landscape 
upon which dear Alice's eyes had so often delighted 
to linger, but for her another and a fairer vision was 
opening into view. 

About half-past five she seemed to be passing away; 
her breathing grew faint, and her color faded, and 
those of the family who were not present were called. 
Her father held one hand, her pulse each moment 
becoming more feeble and fluctuating. Her sister 
bent over her and said : ' ' Weeping may endure for a 
night, but joy cometh in the morning." ** Into Thy 
hand I commit my spirit ; Thou hast redeemed me, 
O Lord God of truth." Her face lit up at once 
with a sweet heavenly smile, and she bowed her head 
in token of assent. 

One by one the little group around her bent over 
her for their last kiss, and to each she gave a sweet, 
loving look, and smile, and then closed her eyes and 
said : ^' It is so lovely to be going." 

But, although her pulse had nearly ceased, it was 
her Heavenly Father's will she should again revive. 
Feeling herself getting stronger, she looked around 



284 ON THE ROCK: >et. 28. 

upon her friends, and said : ''Are you sure I am not 
reviving?" and in a few minutes, with an appealing 
glance to her father, ''Father, am I dying?" He 
could not bear to tell her — what he knew would be a 
disappointment to her — that he thought she might 
live many hours — but one of her sisters, who during 
the night while praying for her, had been impressed 
with the belief that she would soon be released, said : 
"Yes, darling, I am sure the Lord will take thee 
home this morning. ' ' But she still repeated, ' ' Father, 
am I dying?" He told her her pulse was getting 
stronger. She said: "It is all right; I want the 
Lord's will done." 

. When feeling somewhat better, she asked for the 
story of Stephen; and later said, "Read me about 
the crucifixion." She seemed much strengthened 
and comforted by these Scriptures, and other por- 
tions which were read to her, particularly the fifty- 
third of Isaiah. She repeated, " He was oppressed." 
The hymn 

" I know not the way I am going, 
But well do I know my guide," 

was repeated to her, and several times, when emotion 
caused a short pause, dear Alice went on with the 
next line, thinking it was forgotten. 

The valley of the shadow of death w^as so lighted 
by the presence of Jesus, that she saw no darkness, 
and, in reply to one who said, " The valley is not so 
very dark, is it, darling ?" she said : " Oh ! if I could 
only get into the valley!" and afterward, "Come, 
Lord Jesus, come quickly;" and again, quite dis- 
tinctly, "Jesus Christ came into the world to save 
sinners, of whom I am chief." 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 285 

But a short time before her spirit took its flight, 
she folded her hands, and with a sweet, upward look, 
as though gazing upon ^' Him who is invisible," she 
said, in faintest whispers, '^ My Beloved is mine, and 
I am his." 

The doctor came, and, after the usual greeting, 
she asked him how long he thought she would last. 
Upon his replying, '^Not more than a few hours," 
she raised her eyes to heaven with a smile full of re- 
joicing. But she did not have even a few hours 
more of suffering. The doctor administered an opi- 
ate, which seemed to relieve her very much, and she 
said, gratefully : *' I feel so much better." He then 
recommended moving her a little upon one side, to 
relieve the fatigue of having for many hours reclined 
in one position. Just before she was moved, her 
sister leaned over and said : ^* Jesus is very near thee 
still, is He not, darling?" She replied: *'Yes, He 
is to be praised." Her position was changed, and 
almost in a moment, without a groan or struggle, 
she slept in Jesus. One sister was supporting her, 
the other knelt beside her, holding her hand, and 
thought, as she nestled her head among the pillows, 
'* how comfortable she is;" but in a moment, per- 
ceiving that she was passing away, exclaimed, *' Al- 
most home, darling, almost home !" and as she drew 
her last breath, said, ''With the Lord — forever with 
the Lord!" 

Thus did this young disciple, in the twenty-ninth 
year of her age, pass from earth to heaven, with 
songs of praise upon her lips, and was ushered into 
the presence of her Beloved, with words of faith and 



286 ON THE ROCK: ' mi. 28. 

hope from those she loved best on earth. Her sister 
writes : *' Praise was the most fitting language to ex- 
press the feeling left in that chamber of death. We 
could but give thanks that our darling was safe at rest 
in the bosom of Jesus." 

'' Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord ! 
Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their 
labors ; and their works do follow them." 

Her ''sister-cousin," on hearing of her death, ex- 
pressed not only her own feelings, but those of most 
of the family, when she wrote : — 

'' I have just heard the sad and yet joyful news 
of our precious Alice's release from this world, and 
her entrance into everlasting rest. * * * It is 
almost hard as yet to think of the blank she has left, 
so vividly do I realize her overwhelming, transcend- 
ent joy in at last seeing Jesus face to face, and sitting 
down in His presence, never more to go out for a 
second, never more to feel a temptation, never more 
to lose sight of His loving smile, never to miss for 
an instant the touch of His hand. Oh ! it is perfectly 
glorious to think of it ! Darling, sweet Alice is satis- 
fied at last ! Satisfied ! It fills my whole soul with 
joy to imagine it, and to try to realize a little of her 
rapture. 

''I know well that for myself there is a very pre- 
cious thing taken out of life, but it seems to me I 
could shout a song of thanksgiving as I think of the 
untold and unspeakable bliss upon which she has 
entered. Two days already she has been with Jesus ! 
It thrills my soul to think of it, and to realize a little 
of what it must be ! " 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 287 

Her aunt M, W writes : — 

' ' I feel so thankful to have been privileged to be 
present at her sweet, lovely death scene. Her beam- 
ing countenance at moments when she looked round 
upon you all, the felt nearness of the dear Saviour, 
are among our precious memories to be cherished." 

One'of her cousins writes: — 

*'How sweet the remembrance of dear Alice is, 
even to those of us who saw but little of her, as she 
faded away ; that little, revealing, as it did, the perfect 
support and consolation she found in her Saviour, 
greatly strengthens our faith in Him. 

' ' It seemed strange that she, the youngest of the 
cousins, should be called first to test the faithfulness 
of that Saviour whom we all learned to love together. 
But I don't believe any of the rest of us could have 
glorified Him so much in the furnace. By the longest 
and most painful life, she could not have borne a 
more faithful witness to the power and love of her 
Lord than she did in her short, happy life, and most 
triumphant death." 

Another one of the five cousins writes: — 
** Not only her life, but her death has been blessed 
to us all. It seems as if she brought Jesus down to 
us. I have felt Him so much nearer and more real, 
since He was so manifestly with Alice. And it is so 
strengthening to my faith to realize how He supported 
her to the very end. Sweet Alice ! 

' How many burdened hearts have prayed. 
Their lives like thine might be, 
But more shall pray henceforth for aid 
To lay them down like thee.' 



288 ON THE ROCK. ;et. 28. 

''The priceless memories of her pure and holy 
life, and the hallowed recollections of her peaceful 
death are, indeed, a treasury of blessings." 

The following extracts are from the letters of two 
very dear friends : — 

** I do not suppose any one not of your immediate 
family could have loved sweet Alice more than I did. 
She occupied a very warm corner of my heart, and I 
feel as if one of the loveliest flowers of my heart's 
garden had fallen — ' the wind passeth over it, and it 
is gone' — great was ' the grace of the fashion of it.' 
Thanks for such a precious gift as that sweet child ! ' ' 

''In the midst of all the sorrow of to-day I felt 
how near Jesus was — the same Lord who wept not 
for Lazarus, but for the bereaved sisters. How real 
this sorrow makes the sympathy of Christ, and how 
the heart can rest upon Him through it all. 

" You are rich in the memories of a life so truly 
hid with Christ in God, — memories now beyond all 
value, and pointing us to the source of all her joy 
and hope, and victory over the world. May we 
have grace to walk in her footsteps, in living faith, 
and practical devotedness of heart to the Lord ! 
There is the same living fountain for us that so filled 
her soul, and overflowed to all around." 

All through her illness dear Alice had a vivid 
realization of the sadness to the surviving relatives, 
of all connected with the body after the spirit has 
departed. Once she said to her sister, " I should 
feel so difl"erently about it if I could only take my 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 289 

body with me, but I cannot bear to leave it to be a 
care to you." In connection with this her sister 
writes: "She would not have said so if she could 
have known how all the distressing sadness was taken 
away. It was remarkable how sweet and almost 
beautiful everything connected with her death was. 
Entering the small hall chamber, where all that was 
left of our dear one lay, you could scarcely help the 
unexpressed wish that she could look down, and see 
how lovely and attractive her resting-place had been 
made. The soft light fell through the curtained win- 
dow on the central object draped, as was the room, 
in white. The choicest blooming plants from the 
conservatory had been brought to adorn the cham- 
ber, and on a little round table beside our dear one, 
just as her weary eyes had so often rested upon it, 
stood a beautiful tea-rose in full bloom, with her 
Bible beside it, and the easy chairs drawn up close, 
as if we could read to her her favorite passages, as 
we had so lately done. It was a sacred place for 
reading and prayer, and several times we collected 
there and read together those words which were so 
precious to her. Even at the grave the sadness of 
death seemed swallowed up in resurrection, and 
almost more real than the lowered casket was the 
happy anticipation of her glorified body, radiant 
with life and beauty, rising joyfully to 

" Hail Him triumphant descending the skies." 

The following extract is from an account of her 
funeral written by one of Alice's dear friends, to 
another at a distance who was unable to attend it: — 
25 



290 ON THE ROCK: ^t. 28. 

* * * '* As I sat and gazed upon her sweet 
pale face, upon which was an expression of settled 
peace, I could not help saying to myself again and 
again, ' As a bride adorned for her husband !' And 
when I remembered her dying words, ' My Beloved 
is mine, and I am His,' it did really seem as if we 
had only given her to the arms of Him whom her 
soul loved. One bright ray of sunshine fell across 
the darkened room, and rested like, a smile upon her 
lips, as if to lead our thoughts away from our grief 
to the joys which she had found. Such was the peace 
pervading the household, that it could not seem like 
a house of mourning. There we sat around dear 
Alice, knowing that she was with her Beloved, where 
she had so often longed to be j and as the voices of 
the gospel messengers uttered one after another pre- 
cious Scripture truths, I could almost hear her earnest 
voice assenting, and pressing home the subject upon 
our hearts, and see the still features warm into the 
old animation as the name of Jesus was exalted. 

''I never felt so at a funeral. I have often felt 
the hush oi peace at the Christian's burial, but never 
such a sense of joy. Death was indeed swallowed up ! 
And when we gathered around the grave at Laurel 
Hill, nothing could exceed the beauty of that lovely 
spot. Under three beautiful trees it lay, with the 
hills sloping down to the river in front, and rising 
picturesquely across the water ! As we gathered 
round, and stood beneath the trees, the birds singing 
down to us from above, a solemn hush was upon 

lie H* 5j* 'l^ 

* * * << Presently the silence was broken by 
her brother-in-law repeating some of those lovely 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 291 

promises of resurrection in 1st Cor. fifteenth. Then 
he gave Alice's messages. Oh, they were so sweet, 
so full of the love of Jesus ! Tears fell fast, not from 
grief, but feeling. Then followed a prayer, and as 
we slowly turned to leave, our hearts were filled with 
thanksgiving. 

*'Whom He called, them He also justified; and 
whom He justified, them He also glorified," *' that we 
might be to the praise of His glory y 




The following hymns were very frequently quoted, 
and were particularly enjoyed by Alice, and, not 
being found in ordinary collections, are here inserted 
in order that her friends may have the satisfaction of 
referring to them. 



25^ 



%\t f ari toill froMk 



npHOUGH troubles assail, and dangers affright; 

Though friends should all fail, and foes all unite ; 
Yet one thing secures us — whatever betide, 
The Scripture assures us the Lord will provide. 

The birds without bam or storehouse are fed, 
From th^m let us learn to trust for our bread ; 
His saints what is fitting shall ne'er be denied. 
So long as 'tis written, the Lord will provide. 

We may, like the ships, by tempests be tossed 
On perilous deeps, but cannot be lost ; 
Though Satan enrages the wind and the tide. 
The promise engages, the Lord will provide. 

His call we obey, like Abram of old, 
Not knowing our way, but faith makes us bold ; 
For though we are strangers, we have a true guide, 
And trust, in all dangers, the Lord will provide. 



296 ON THE ROCK: 

When Satan appears to stop up our path, 

And fill us with fears, we triumph by faith ; 

He cannot take from us, though oft he has tried, 

This heart-cheering promise, the Lord will provide. 

He tells us we're weak, our hope is in vain, 
The good that we seek we ne'er shall obtain ; 
But when such suggestions our spirits have plied, 
This answers all questions, the Lord will provide. 

No strength of our own, or goodness, we claim ; 
Yet, since we have known the Saviour's great name, 
In this our strong tower for safety we hide : 
The Lord is our power, the Lord will provide. 

When life sinks apace, and death is in view, 
This word of his grace will carry us through ; 
No fearing or doubting with Christ on our side : 
We hope to die trusting, the Lord will provide. 

John Newton. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL, 297 



%\i ^ttirf Ptti. 



T HAVE a treasure which I prize ; 

Its like I cannot find : 
There 's nothing like it on the earth j 
'Tis this — A quiet mind. 

But 'tis not that I 'm stupefied, 
Or senseless, dull, or blind ; 

'Tis God's own peace within my heart, 
Which forms my quiet mind. 

I found this treasure at the cross ; 

And there to every kind 
Of weary, heavy-laden souls, 

Christ gives a quiet mind. 

My Saviour's death and risen life. 

To give it were design' d ; 
His love's the never-failing spring 

Of this my quiet mind. 

The love of God within my breast 
My heart to Him doth bind \ 

This is the peace of heaven on earth. 
This is my quiet mind. 



298 ON THE ROCK: 

I've many a cross to take up now, 

And many left behind ; 
But present troubles move me not, 

Nor shake my quiet mind. 

And what may be to-morrow's cross 

I never seek to find ; 
My Saviour says, '^ Leave that to me, 

And keep a quiet mind." 

And well I know the Lord hath said, 
To make my heart resign' d, 

That mercy still shall follow those 
Who have this quiet mind. 

I meet with pride of wit and wealth. 
And scorn, and looks unkind ; 

It matters not — I envv none 
While I 've a quiet mind. 

I'm waiting now to see my Lord, 
Who's been to me so kind ; 

I want to thank Him face to face. 
For this my quiet mind. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WIIITALL. 299 



I %i\m m m %\i JanJr^ 



PATHER, I know that all my life 

Is portioned out for me, 
And the changes that are sure to come 

I do not fear to see ; 
But I ask Thee for a present mind 

Intent on pleasing Thee. 

I ask Thee for a thoughtful love. 
Through constant watching wise, 

To meet the glad with joyful smiles, 
And to wipe the weeping eyes ; 

And a heart at leisure from itself, 
To soothe and sympathize. 

I would not have the restless will 

That hurries to and fro. 
Seeking for some great thing to do. 

Or secret thing to know ; 
I would be treated as a child. 

And guided where I go. 

Wherever in the world I am. 

In whatsoe'er estate, 
I have a fellowship with hearts 

To keep and cultivate ; 
And a work of lowly love to do 

For the Lord on whom I wait. 



300 ON THE ROCK: 

So I ask Thee for the daily strength, 

To none that ask denied, 
And a mind to blend with outward life 

While keeping at Thy side. 
Content to fill a little space, 

If Thou be glorified. 

And if some things I do not ask. 

In my cup of blessing be, 
I would have my spirit filled the more 

With grateful love to Thee — 
More careful — not to serve Thee much, 

But to please Thee perfectly. 

There are briers besetting every path, 

That call for patient care ; 
There is a cross in every lot, 

And a need for earnest prayer ; 
But a lowly heart that leans on Thee 

Is happy anywhere. 

In a service which Thy will appoints. 

There are no bonds for me ; 
For my inmost heart is taught ^' the truth" 

That makes Thy children free \ 
And a life of self-renouncing love. 

Is a life of liberty. 

A. L. Waring. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 30 1 



**§d]oIb %t lrikgr0flm ^mx%l' 



13 EHOLD a Royal Bridegroom 

Hath called me for His bride ! 
I joyfully make ready 

And hasten to his side. 
He is a Royal Bridegroom, 

But I am very poor ! 
Of low estate He chose me, 

To show His love the more : 
For He hath purchased for me 

Such goodly rich array, 
Oh, surely never bridegroom 

Gave gifts like His away. 

When first upon the mountains, 

I, in the vale below, 
Beheld Him waiting for me, 

Heard His command to go ; 
I, poorest in the valley. 

Oh how could I prepare 
To meet His royal presence ? 

How could I make me fair ? 
Ah ! in His love He sent me 

A garment clean and white : 
And promised broidered raiment 

All glorious in His sight. 
26 



30 2 ON THE ROCK: 

And then He gave me glimpses 
Of the jewels for my hair, 

And the ornament most precious 
For His chosen bride to wear. 

First in my tears I washed me, 

They could not make me clean : 
A fountain then He showed me. 

Strange until then unseen \ 
So close I'd lived beside it, 

For many weary years, 
Yet passing by the fountain. 

Had bathed me in my tears. 
Oh love, Oh grace, that showed it ! 

Revealed its cleansing power ! 
How could I choose but hasten 

To meet Him from that hour ! 

I said, I'll wait no longer I 

He surely will provide 
All for the toilsome journey. 

Up the steep mountain side. 
He sought me in the valley, 

He knows my utmost need ; 
But He's a Royal Bridegroom, 

I shall be rich indeed. 
Rich in His pardoning mercies. 

Bounties that never cease : 
Rich in His loving-kindness. 

Rich in His joy and peace. 
So then I took the raiment. 

And the jewels that He sent. 
And gazing on His beauty. 

Up the hill-side I went. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 303 

And still with feeble footsteps, 

And turning oft astray, 
I go to meet the Bridegroom, 

Though stumbling by the way, 
I soil my royal garments 

With earth where'er I fall, 
I break and mar my ornaments, 

But He will know them all. 
For it was He who gave them ; 

Will He forget His own? 
Ah ! for the love He bore me, 

He called ! will He disown. 
He sent His Guide to guide me: 

He knew how blind, how frail. 
The children of the valley : 

He knew my love would fail. 
He knew the mists above me 

Would hide Him from my sight, 
And I in darkness groping. 

Would wander from the right. 
I know that I must follow 

Slow when I fain would soar ; 
That step by step, thus upward. 

My Guide must go before. 

Cleave close, dear Guide, and lead me ! 

I cannot go aright ! 
Through all that doth beset me. 

Keep, keep me close in sight ! 
'Tis but a little longer, 

Methinks the end I see : 
Oh ! matchless love and mercy. 

The Bridegroom waits for me; 



304 ON THE ROCK: 

Waits to present me faultless, 
Before His Father's throne; 

His comeliness my beauty, 
His righteousness my own. 



A. S. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 305 



** JiII, all is f noton t0 ®^ee/* 



** When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then Thou 
knew est my path." 



\/f Y God, whose gracious pity I may claim, 

Calling Thee Father — sweet, endearing name ! 
The sufferings of this weak and weary frame, 
All, all are known to Thee. 

From human eye 'tis better to conceal 
Much that I suffer, much I hourly feel ; 
But Oh ! the thought does tranquillize and heal- 
All, all is known to Thee. 

Each secret conflict with indwelling sin. 
Each sickening fear I ne'er the prize shall win. 
Each pang from irritation, turmoil, din — 
All, all is known to Thee. 

When in the morning unrefreshed I wake, 
Or in the night but little sleep I take, 
This brief appeal submissively I make — 
All, all is known to Thee. 

Nay, all by Thee is ordered, chosen, planned — 
Each drop that fills my daily cup ; Thy hand 
Prescribes, for ills none else can understand \ 
All, all is known to Thee. 
26^ 



3o6 ON THE ROCK: 

The effectual means to cure what I deplore; 
In me Thy longed-for likeness to restore; 
Self to dethrone, never to govern more — 
All, all is known to Thee. 

And this continued feebleness, this state 
Which seems to unnerve and incapacitate, 
Will work the cure my hopes and prayer await — 
That can I leave to Thee. 

Nor will the bitter draught distasteful prove, 
When I recall the Son of Thy dear love ; 
The cup Thou wouldst not for our sakes remove — 
That cup He drank for i?ie. 

He drank it to the dregs — no drop remained 
Of wrath, for those whose cup of woe He drained ; 
Man ne'er can know what that sad cup contained, 
All, all is known to Thee. 

And welcome, precious, can His Spirit make. 
My little drop of suffering for His sake. 
Father, the cup I drink, the path I take, 
All, all is known to Thee. 

Adelaide L. Newton. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 307 



M in %m%* 



TTT'E rest in Christ, the Son of God, 

Who took the servant's form ; 
His love is our abiding place, 
And refuge from the storm. 

At peace with God, no ills we dread ; 

In Christ is our repose : 
Our life is hid with Him in God ; 

Secure from all our foes. 

Not death, nor hell, nor Satan's power, 
Can touch the life thus given ; 

Its source and centre is enthroned 
At God's right hand in Heaven. 

He lives in us — in Him we live ; 

With life eternal blest : 
And while by faith and hope we wait. 

In Christ, our life, we rest. 



3o8 ON rilE ROCK- 



%\x WiW 0f %^x 



T WORSHIP thee, sweet Will of God ! 

And all thy ways adore, 
And every day I live, it seems 
I love thee more and more. 

Thou wert the blessed end and rule 

Of Jesus' toils and tears ; 
Thou wert the passion of His heart 

Those three and thirty years. 

And He hath breathed into my heart 

A special love of thee ; 
A love to lose my will in His, 

And by that loss be free. 

I love to kiss the prints, where thou 

Hast set thine unseen feet, 
I cannot fear thee — blessed will, 

Thine empire is so sweet ! 

When obstacles and trials seem 

Like prison walls to be, 
I do the little I can do, 

And leave the rest to thee. 

I know not what it is to doubt ; 

My heart is always gay ; 
I run no risks, for come what will 

Thou always hast thy way. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 309 

I have no cares, O blessed Will ! 

For all my cares are thine; 
I live in triumph, Lord, for Thou 

Hast made Thy triumphs mine. 

And when it seems nor chance nor change 

From grief can set me free, 
Hope finds its strength in helplessness. 

And gaily waits on thee. 

Man's weakness waiting upon God 

Its end can never miss. 
For man on earth no work can do 

More angel like that this. 

Ride on, ride on triumphantly, 

Thou glorious Will, ride on ! 
Faith's pilgrim sons behind thee, take 

The road that thou hast gone. 

He always wins who sides with God ; 

No chance to him is lost ; 
God's will is sweetest to him, when 

It triumphs at his cost. 

Ill that He blesses, is our good, 

And unblest good is ill ; 
And all is right that seems most wrong, 

If it be His sweet Will. 

Faber. 



3IO ON THE ROCK 



%\i §0rter-f anbs. 



rj^ATHER, into Thy loving hands 

My feeble spirit 1 commit, 
While wandering in these Border-Lands, 
Until Thy voice shall summon it. 

Father, I would not dare to choose 
A longer life, an earlier death; 

I know not what my soul might lose 
By shortened or protracted breath. 

These Border-Lands are calm and still, 
And solemn are their silent shades; 

And my heart welcomes them, until 
The light of life's long evening fades. 

I heard them spoken of with dread, 
As fearful and unquiet places ; 

Shades, where the living and the dead 
Look sadly in each other's faces. 

But since Thy hand hath led me here, 
And I have seen the Border-Land ; 

Seen the dark river flowing near, 
Stood on its brink, as now I stand. 

There has been nothing to alarm 

My trembling soul ; how could I fear 

While thus encircled with Thine arm? 
I never felt Thee half so near. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 31 1 

What should appal me in a place 

That brings me hourly nearer Thee? 

When I may almost see Thy face — 
Surely 'tis here my soul would be. 

They say the waves are dark and deep, 
That faith has perished in the river; 

They speak of death with fear, and weep, 
Shall my soul perish? Never! Never! 

I know that Thou wilt never leave 
The soul that trembles while it clings 

To Thee : I know Thou wilt achieve 
Its passage on Thine outspread wings. 

And since I first was brought so near 
The stream that flows to the Dead Sea, 

I think that it has grown more clear 
And shallow than it used to be. 

I cannot see the golden gate 

Unfolding yet, to welcome me; 
I cannot yet anticipate 

The joy of heaven's jubilee; 

But I will calmly watch and pray 

Until I hear my Saviour's voice 
Calling my happy soul away. 

To see His glory, and rejoice. 



312 ON THE ROCK: 



\m. larJr* 



/^HILD of my love, '' lean hard," 

And let me feel the pressure of thy care; 
I know thy burden, child ; I shaped it, 
Poised it in Mine own hand, made no proportion 
In its weight to thine unaided strength; 
For even, as I laid it on, I said, 
''I shall be near, and while she leans on Me, 
This burden shall be Mine, not hers. 
So shall I keep my child within the circling arms 
Of mine own love." Here lay it down, nor fear 
To impose it on a shoulder which upholds 
The government of worlds. Yet closer come — 
Thou art not near enough, I would embrace thy 

care, 
So I might feel my child reposing on my heart. 
Thou lovest me? I know it. Doubt not, then; 
But, loving me — lean hard. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALLL. 313 



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Matt. viii. 19. 



A NYWHERE with Jesus, says the Christian heart ; 
Let Him take me where He will, so we do not 
part; 
Always sitting at His feet, there 's no cause for fears ; 
Anywhere with Jesus in this vale of tears. 

Anywhere with Jesus, thoup^h He leadeth me 
Where the path is rough and long, where the dan- 
gers be j 
Though He taketh from me all I love below, 
Anywhere with Jesus will I gladly go. 

Anywhere with Jesus in the summer heat, 
Anywhere with Jesus, through the winter sleet. 
Anywhere with Jesus, where the bright sun shines ; 
Anywhere with Jesus, when the day declines. 

Anywhere with Jesus, though He please to bring 

Into fires the fiercest, into suffering; 

Though He bid me work or wait, or only bear for 

Him, 
Anywhere with Jesus still shall be my hymn. 

Anywhere with Jesus, though it be the tomb. 
With its frighting terror, with its dreaded gloom; 
Though it be the weariness of a long-drawn life, 
Fainting with the constant toil, drooping in the strife. 

27 



314 ON THE ROCK: 

Anywhere with Jesus, for it cannot be 
Dreary, dark, or desolate, where He is with me ; 
He will love me alway, every need supply, 
Anywhere with Jesus, should 1 live or die. 



MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WHITALL. 315 



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Isaiah xlii. 16. 

T KNOW not the way I am going. 
But well do I know my guide ; 
With a child-like trust I give my hand 

To the mighty Friend by my side. 
The only thing that I say to Him, 

As He takes it, is, "Hold it fast, 
Suffer me not to lose my way. 

And bring me home at last." 

As when some helpless wanderer, 

Alone in an unknown land. 
Tells the guide his destined place of rest. 

And leaves all else in his hand ; 
'Tis home, 'tis home, that we wish to reach; 

He who guides us may choose the way; 
And little we heed what path we take, 

If nearer home each day. 



3l6 MEMOIR OF ALICE B. WIIITALL. 



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Revelations xxi. 4. 



OEYOND the smiling and the weeping, 

I shall be soon; 
Beyond the waking and the sleeping, 
Beyond the sowing and the reaping, 
I shall be soon. 
Love, rest, and home ! 
Sweet hope ! 
Lord, tarry not, but come. 

Beyond the parting and the meeting, 

I shall be soon; 
Beyond the farewell and the greeting. 
Beyond the pulse's fever-beating, 
I shall be soon. 
Love, rest, and home ! 
Sweet hope ! 
Lord, tarry not, but come. 

BONAR. 




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